Jen's Blog

We only went a little crazy...

2011-12-26T09:43:00.003-06:00

So far, so good... We spent Christmas night with old friends of the family, eating Papa Murphy's pizza (which mom called Father Murphy's, which is a pizza chain created by an Irish priest to save his failing, broke parish, but shenanigans ensue! Gentle, chuckling shenanigans.) and drinking margaritas (!!!). We discussed all manner of things, including names my father had for things. We all find these pretty damn good. Example being "Serious knife", which is a serrated knife. Screaming Hills Drive instead of Singing Hills Drive, a buffet (pronounced with a -fet).. good stuff.

Met old college roommate at Red Lobster. Visited one of mom's dearest friends (who sort of grilled me - - but in a very good way. Basically, Deb can ask all the questions my mom wants to, but is held up by mom-rules. Mom-rules which I sort of appreciate. But happy to answer direct questions...) and ate Sun Chips.

Watched a steady stream of British people on Netflix (Michael Palin's Himalayas! Downton Abbey! Dr. Who!)and fell asleep too late. Rather, I watched a steady stream of British people, and mom was lulled to sleep by their soft-r's and pronunciation of h's.

It's been a lovely collection of mom-time, jen-internet-time and family-friend-time. I miss sister-time, but that will come.

Onward.

What to give yourself, in that sort of day time television sort of way...

2011-12-25T09:02:00.003-06:00

Hi friends! Hello, internet.

Back in Sux City. I fell asleep in my childhood bed, after watching a couple episodes of Dr. Who and then read some Anne McCaffery - - which is very Saturday night, 1987. Woke up to the dog barking a single bark at me (literally, "WAKE UP", but like a cute fuzzy jerk in a dog blanket) and the sounds of mom in the kitchen.

(<-----This is the reason I think naming a girl "Menolly" might be a good idea. It's a terrible idea. We'd have to dress in tunics and learn to play the pan flute. AND LIVE WITH DRAGONS.

If you could put Menolly & Laura Ingalls Wilder & Julie of the Wolves & Princess Leia and that kid from "My Side of the Mountain" together with Johnny Carson and Bob Newhart, you'd encapsulate a goodly number of my childhood reasons for staying up late.)

We're not formally doing presents as a family. We don't NEED anything, and it feels like the family home has "too much stuff" - - or, at least, the remnants of people we loved and love, and their (albeit NEAT - - my dad made neat stuff, my sister makes neat stuff, my grandpa had neat stuff, my great grandma had neat stuff, the unknown great cousin who was Catholic had neat stuff) stuff that we don't know what to do with.

This house is a gigantic, unsorted Cedar chest. But less romantic and more neat.

So - - presents at Christmas drop to the wayside. Mom asks what I want when I get here, and promises to take me shopping. Not needed, but nice. (I bought my mom the internet.. i.e. internet service... for Christmas, which is a little like buying your mom a cookbook for Christmas. Kinda selfish.)

There is a nice Xmas pass of "I got this for me for Christmas". But I don't need anything. I have nice clothes to teach in, I have a funny little car, I have fancy devices that tell me things, I have the ability to buy food and shelter and haircuts and I am very lucky.

So - for Christmas - I am making myself a practice, in that very Oprah-way.

I'm going to write. And set aside time to write. Starting with this blog post, and crossing my eyes to make it a practice.

And, in celebration of this, I submit a poem that we just found, that was written by me when I was young enough to still spell "drowning" as "drownding" (seriously. I say the d. Don't you say the d?) It's unfinished. Please enjoy.

DROWNDING

I'm drownding in flowers

help me. oh please

I'm Allergic to flowers

I'm starting to sneeze

HAND me a lifeboat

Women and kids first

Please help me oh please

I'm starting to Burst

A crane is coming

Oh thank you so is my sneeze

Gesumtight

Achoo

...And that's where it ends. The third stanza had the alternate version of:

My sneeze is coming; I'm going to shout

Gesumtight

Achoo

... A lot of that was crossed out. But. Ehhhh? I am fairly impressed with elementary school me.

And when I find things I've written as a kid, I get all happy. When I read things I wrote in my 20s, it's an exercise in patience, but I'm still happy I did it. So.. time to get goin'.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS WINTER THINGS, friends. Thanks for listening.

Pop up, out of the Internet hole

2011-04-07T02:09:00.002-05:00

hi friends... I'm not sure if anyone's still watchin', as it's been a while... I was feeling private. And I was feeling scared. And so, long breaks between blog posts, which is totally fine and good.

I'm currently in Far Away Places!! Not easy far away places (diaherrea! Mind numbing poverty!), but amazingly lucky be here. And trying not to use sickness as a reason to hide in a nice quiet hotel room from all the noise and touts and push pull.

Having Internet while so far away is weird... I am there in Minneapolis, connecting in ways I usually do (Facebook! I can follow Twitter! Weirrrd.) but my body is not. I feel like a ghost, able to comunicate through a particular medium, but not able to actually DO anything.

When I get back, I'd like to have everyone over for tacos and beer. Everything will be homemade. I will get to doing the things I want to do. I will take free time to see the people I love to see. THAT sounds like vacation. And not ghosty at all.

I also wanna improv. I've been daydreaming of Ka-Baal!!, which makes me giggle.

Rule #3761 - best training for crazy travel (and/or life) would be improv. (Followed, close second, by yoga. But that's me. I think you could follow anything after improv, and be pretty well set.)

I can't wait for the walkin' around part of this trip. Nature and birds of prey, tea houses and dogs you don't want to fuck with.

Miss you.

Onward.

Okay. Gettin' this...

2010-12-31T11:50:00.005-06:00

With family in far away places.

I went out for New Year's Eve Eve..

Who knew! A House of Blues venue ='s badass.

I shook Neil Gaimen's hand and congratulated him on his lamppost!

I made friends at the Dresden Dolls concert with a group of similarly minded ladies. I wish I had taken pictures of them.

Met the girlfriend of the magician that the magician in American Gods is based off of. Met a future science teacher in four inch heels, and an adorable coffeeshop manager named Lauren. Met a bear of a man who watches music and protects the short. Met his short blond girlfriend, who loved it when he glowered at people who were being loud jerks.

I sleep in a big bed and eat leftovers. There are two huge dogs to be friends with. Very lucky.

Southern Cali feels like the Midwest, except looser and sillier. There's sadness here, but there's also an amazing amount of sunshine... beautiful sites.. SUNSHINE. Having weather that won't kill you seems to relax people.

However - - that being said - - being here, and being in AZ - - I'm realizing just how damned lucky I am to know some of the smartest, funniest, most embittered, optimistic, self-deprecating, proud, generous and over all, awesome people in Mpls. Minneapolis - - you're killer smart.

All the people in the world seem to travel between Los Angeles and San Diego at all times. They never stop.

Wandered around Carlsbad with my aunt this afternoon, and talked family. Drank coffee, drank wine, ate tacos, very lucky.

2010 was hard. 2010 was good. 2010 was awesome. 2011 will be even better.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE! May your 2011 be the best year yet!

Onward.

Christmas...

2010-12-25T22:09:00.003-06:00

Anyone else wanna say.. How fucking weird.

- It's strange that the changes experienced in the last five years can somehow outshine or outshadow the changes experienced between ages 19-22. Or even 12-17, at times.

- It's strange to experience Christmas under blue skies and lovely temperatures. I can't stop saying it: "It's so beautiful out".

- It's strange to feel as though you and your mom sometimes come second to friends. And sometimes second to a tablecloth.

- It's strange to accept an apology for said behavior.

- And really truly accept it. And the responsibility of accepting an apology.

- It's strange to not know what to do.

- It's strange that it will all end in 2+ days.

I'm so lucky to be with my mom and my sister. So lucky and blessed to be here together.

Also so strange and lucky to try and figure out holidays as grown ups. With no real reason to be together except that we want to be. Even if we're not sometimes ready to be.

Onward.

It's today!

2010-10-20T10:25:00.002-05:00

It's today! :) So silly, but... yea.

Goals for the coming year: Adventure and wisdom.

As my friend Drew said, "it's going to be a good year".

Life notes:
- I just got done taking a voice over workshop which was incredibly lovely as Beth Chaplin rocks. I am also taking voice lessons. And have signed up for an Audition Workshop. All this actual training surely means that my career will transform from teacher performer to accountant barista any day now.

What I learned:
- I probably won't work as a spokesperson. It'd be wonderful to work as a spokesperson, but unless that spokesperson is a spokesperson for otters or small waterfowl, it probably won't be me.

- I hiss my sss's. AGHHH!! I'm working on it, but it sounds like a 14 year old is trying to sell you life inssssuranccce. Good god.

- I am the laziest of speakers. I drop words. I smoosh the ends of words together with the beginning of words. I create gross human centipedes out of simple sentences. Challenge!!!

So yes - - not only will this be a year of wisdom and adventure, it will also be a year of attempting to speak like Julie Andrews.

(Gosh, she's pretty.)

Things I'm looking forward to in the short term:

- More yoga. I'm a squishy convert. It's seeping into my vocabulary. I told an improv class to "honor" the focus of the scene. And to "get back onto their mats". Doomed.

- CHICAGO AVENUE PROJECT!! Kids write the plays and words for the song - - grown ups direct and act it out. So good. It'll be my second time doing the music for CAP (I've worked as a director a couple of times before with them).

For this session of CAP, the cast is jawdropping. Stupidly jawdropping. I thought last spring was crazy pants - - it just got crazy pantsier. I WILL write a song for the incredibly lovely and talented opera singer! It WILL be about being a fashionista! More info to come!

There's more stuff to come, but I just wanted to write how damned lucky and grateful I am. How lucky I am to know you. All such good things.

Onward.

Life's hard.. But it ain't that hard.

2010-09-14T09:51:00.002-05:00

Happiness is an inside job, true. And if you have your health (and are lucky enough to have friends and family too), you're doing damned good.

Not being prepared for the painters to start working on the house.. and thinking you had extra house keys but none of them work.. and so your roommate who works second shift has had to deal with the contractors -- yeah. Usually I'm better prepared than this, or I try to be. Usually I'm in town.

It's all working (by the grace of roommate and contractors), but.. I thought it was all supposed to have been done last week.. Given that, you'd think I would have put some thought into what the contractors might need. Like house keys. Gah.

The reason I'm out of town is that I'm in Sioux City (our airport code is SUX. Thankfully, awesome people have taken advantage of this gift. See above) visiting mom. The "What I'd like more of in 2010" goal of "see Mom every season" is almost complete! That's good, as my "listen to more classical music" goal hasn't amounted to poop.

Onward.

That's the price of a car!

2010-09-07T09:10:00.003-05:00

The plumber was early. That's pretty awesome for a plumber to be. However, it was 8:35a.m., and I was still in bed, guessing I had at least 10 minutes to put on pants. Alas. .. This totally sounds like the beginning of a porno.

About a year ago, my mom came up and helped WALLPAPER THE KITCHEN CEILING. Not only would the prescribed plumbing remedy (again, porno) tear down that beautiful ceiling, lovingly put up with minimal swears, but it would (my dog just farted..) cost as much as a used car.

So - - this is what needs to happen to my house. There is no denying that.

However, I'm hoping to put the house on the market in about 6+ months.

Will this repair increase the price of my house by that much? Heavens no. If I don't do it, will the potential buyer ask for the cost of the repair to be taken out of the asking price? Heavens yes, and wisely so.

This is what adulthood smells like sometimes. Dog farts.

Wow, it's windy out.

Anywhoo - -

A teenager has come to live with us. His name is Frank, which is short for Franklin (as in Benjamin Franklin, Frank Mills - - who I've actually never seen - - , and Franklin Richards, son of Mr. Fantastic.) Frank is grey with yellowgoldbrown eyes. Frank likes cuddles and merlot (per picture), long walks on the beach and having the other animals chase him. He's classy.

Franklin bounded in, as all relationships start, with all of his junk attached. Tomorrow, we go in for the operation. Please send good thoughts Frank's way.

Hey! I have a show coming up. Please come - - it's funny. :)

Made it to the state fair, and am comfortable with all of my food choices! Pictures to come!

Onward.

BWAHAHAHA! My friend is an oracle.

2010-09-01T09:13:00.003-05:00

My friend Scott facebook'd me this.. (it's ever so slightly lady Gaga, if only cuz Lady Gaga is on everyone's mind this week)

"I had a fantastic dream with you as the star. BNW was putting on Jen Scott Days because of the critical and public success of your web show with its write-up in Newsweek. You were doing a live version of that show in which you play a Science Fiction Tooth Fairy with a long-standing grudge with Mr. Spock. In the show you solve humorous math puzzles, take a bubble bath wearing a flesh-colored tinker-bell costume and have fans who help you by selling instant print, custom bumper stickers in the lobby.

The fame and production (with its 1970s Dr. Who special effects) are stressing you out a little bit, but you are having a great deal of fun because you realize that the fame is transient. As you point out, yours are the only posters in the BNW with a "Please Remove by....." date on them."

Mine ARE the only posters with a remove by date on them at the BNW. Humorous math problems! And Mr. Spock is so frustrating!

Uhm. I really want to do the Science Fiction Tooth Fairy show now. If this is a sign that I need to put together a web show, good god -- I will follow this sign!!!

1970s special effects make me think of Dr. Who, which makes me think of the Star Hustler.

There is only happiness here.

Fame is transient, friends.

This means I need to let Joe and Brandi about the dreams I dreamt about them in the last two days (German beerhall basement theater and fitness programs that only Williams' grads know).

Onward. :)

Oh man..

2010-08-15T19:48:00.003-05:00

Oh man Oh man.. Life is so.. lifey.

And that wisestupid little tidbit is to YOU YOU YOU! As you make my life super happy. I am truly blessed to share words and space with some damned awesome people. Holy crap. Thank you. :)

Funny day. :) Passed out HUGE bracelets at the Uptown Market (Taj and I told only one story, about a cairn terrier named.. oh crap. There was a black lab named Saul *heh* and the cairn terrier looked like Toto.. oh man! It was a sweet name.. The story we told was about him, and his way with "the ladies". Otherwise, we played on our pretend ukeleles and talked to Uptowners.. People were nice and seemed genuinely excited about a new theater opening up mere blocks from where we were playing our air-keleles. .. air-keleles? yes. Yea!)

We then ate a tofu dog, and raced away to Fringe.

Probably my favorite "Story Time Time Bomb" today - - right feel, right silliness. So good. (and Butch played us some Led Zeppelin, and I got to scream like Robert Plant in "Immigrants Song" - - which might be the most fun thing to do ever. No wonder Robert Plant did it so much.)

And then to see "Spin", which I will talk about (as it was so damned good), but I have to put on a dress.

Pleaseplease have an awesome night. There was more to this day, but this is what's important. You rule.

Onward. :)

P.S. Note! Lemons have been scraped, cherries have been doused. In 3-6 months, basil limoncello and cherry whiskey manhattans will flow! You're invited. If I'm on the ball, there will also be pickled eggs. We will feast like old men! Win.

Beautiful.

2010-08-14T13:13:00.001-05:00

Yoga and cooking and red wine

2010-08-14T00:03:00.002-05:00

If I can do all three of these in a day, it's a win. A total win. Today was a very lucky day.. Hey look - - THEATER!

Did a show. Yea! THEATER!

And then saw the beautiful and excellent Uncle Shelby's Traveling Treasure Trunk - - I will write this in a Fringe review, but goddamn - - these men, this Jonathan Goldberg & Dan Moyer, write how I want to write and what I want to see. Absolutely lovely performances too. Plus - - ACTORS! If you are looking for quirk-tastic and emotionally driven monologues, look no further. This show made me so happy.

And then, onto MORE THEATER!! Mark Shyzer in "Fishbowl" - - I will also say this in a Fringe review, but Mark Shyzer is the handsome, immensely talented version of Plastic Man. (not that Plastic Man wasn't talented, just.. this guy..) Truly lovely show.

It was right before "Fishbowl" that I counted the number of shows I've seen so far - - 15. Not bad. I'm performing in 18. ..I AM FRINGING THE FRINGEY FRINGE!

(This, however, is nothing to the 33 show Fringe of ought 'seven, where Joe, Tim and myself performed in 31 shows each. I think I might have beat them out by playing in a couple of "An Intimate Evening with Mike Fotis"-es, moving my total up to 33. We were Fringe zombies. Hard and fun.)

Also, I'm not seeing everything I want to - - friends keep selling out, timing doesn't work.. This is a very good year, friends.

And then, over the next two days, only five more performances (and hopefully seeing at least a couple other shows), a week of teaching the last of the little-kid-theater-stuff, and then summer is done.. in my brain. This was the summer of work, and I was lucky to do so. But also a summer of fun. I need to stop referring to this present time in the past - - there's even a week left. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Life has parced itself up into one hour segments. Fringe show - one hour. Voice lesson - one hour. Yoga class - one hour. One scheduled hour, with a half hour on either side for good measure. I don't mind this at all, except wondering if my attention span has adjusted accordingly. Movies are again beyond my pervue.

I'm really tired.

Onward.

P.S. You know what sounds kind of good and dumb - - the State Fair. It sounds really stupid, and really.. okay. There's a bag of minidonuts is waiting for me, along with the placental cuteness of the "Miracle of Life" booth. What will happen??

Fringe

2010-08-13T00:28:00.003-05:00

How you can check and see if you are truly "Fringing":

a) Your sleep schedule is off. If you see a 10 p.m. show, you're not going to be able to sleep until at least 1 a.m.. And if you end up going to Bedlam after said 10 p.m., you're screwed. And generally speaking, happily so.

b) You wonder why you're tired, and realize that this is your 2nd to 3rd 14 hour day in a row.

c) You've danced like a hippie at least once. And again, happily so.

d) You can't leave the house without wallet, keys, fringe button.

e) You get comfy with the idea that all we do in Minneapolis is make and see art. All of our lives, all of our schedules and play time and relationships circle around making and seeing art.

There is life and wonderful people outside of this condensed, magnetized situation, an it's good to remember this while in the middle of the brawl.

But it's been lovely. So lucky, so much goodness.

I accidently saw some dance tonight. I wanted to see Spin, and thought it was at the Southern (without, you know, checking the postcard or web or anything... Assuming they had set the wrong program out in the lobby. I am an idiot, at times). Instead, I saw dance. agh! I learned:

a) There's some pretty good music in this modern dance stuff.

b) According to Mr. Munger, dancers are currently in discussion as to what exactly qualifies as their art form. What is dance? What isn't? Therefore, what's good, what's derivitive and what's not? I certainly don't know, and it sounds like they're, as a community, discussing such. Neat! I can't tell you what's good or bad (I have little reference), but I can tell you when I was engaged, when I wasn't, and when it was fun.

c) I have decided, for my own purposes, that dance is a physical meditation on a subject, story, theme, idea or song. A meditation, like walking a labrynith. Not necessarily a narrative, but reflections and interpretations told through action or non-action. That's all I've got.

d) I was trying to create an acting/improv/clowning/mime/dance spectrum in my head, but it's a double rainbow all the way. It's just not that clean of a breakdown.

e) That's a 3 week old reference. You're welcome. :)

f) I love it when dancers make eye contact.

g) I love it when dancers smile. Cause then it looks fun. I want a black leotard too!

h) John Munger's phrase "athletic and artsy" makes me so happy. Two things, that can be somewhat opposite in many minds. Again, neat. :)

i) Casebolt and Smith are damned inspirational. They don't set off to be. They just are. We are lucky.

Whew. Also, 'thought we had a good "Quest" tonight. We are nerds, friends.

Happy Fringing!

I'm really tired.

Onward.

What you can do in 45 minutes..

2010-07-18T15:15:00.002-05:00

Hi friends. Long time no blabby.

Uh. Michele said to post this, and she tends to be correct about many things.

I got to take part in a Flash Fiction event with Replacement Press last night. Holy crap. It was wonderful.

They've rented a store front (at the old Arise Bookstore space) to celebrate the publishing of John Jodzio's (an awesomely nice guy) If You Lived Here You’d Already Be Home.

They brought us four improvisers (Damian Johnson, Mike Fotis, Michele Campbell and me) in, introduced us, gave us a 'prompt' (a sentence from John's book) and then sent us off to write for 45 minutes. (While the lovely band "We Became Actors" played. Win.)

We then came back and read/almost-perform our stuff. Which like that. Neat.

And then they gave us beer and fancy cupcakes! I bought a book. It was lovely.

This is what came out. I haven't changed anything since last night except for one word. Meaning, you get all of my crap grammar.

Feel free to read or not read. I totally turned into a cat lady.

If you do read it, I hope you like it. Again, see above cat-lady-ness.

Hoping things are excellent!!!

Onward.

"If Whiskers could talk, he would tell you that this was his dying wish."

- - Jen Scott, July 18, 2010

If Whiskers could talk, he would tell you that this was his dying wish.

Some people would assume that it would be a brand new sofa, untouched by any other cats' claws. That he would slide his folded paper claws into the upholstery, grip and slowly, happily, pull.

And the pull would be delicious. Satisfying. Impermanent.
A crunch
A pull of weight
A drop

But that wasn't it.

************************

If Whiskers could talk, he would tell you that this was his dying wish.

Some people would assume that it would be in regards to the nameless baby. The soft strong loud pink thing that smelled both of antiseptic and moist plastic.

He watched his owners' pupils dilate every time this thing moved, breathed, stepped or howled. He would look into his owners' future and would watch how their worlds, now shiny and freshly purchased, would get gently bruised and busted up, fingerprinted, and any semblance of perfection disintegrated into comfort.

This thing was interesting to watch, but ultimately destructive.

Some would think that Whisker's dying wish would be to lead this shambling pink things into the street, where a kindly couple or old woman or pack of wolves would take care of it.

But this wasn't his dying wish either.

************************

Whiskers contemplated his dying wish.

What they don't tell you is that you don't get just one.

You get as many as you'd like.

He thought seven would do (Nine would be expected, but Whiskers was contrary and a bit of a dick, as he was a cat.)

1) He'd wish the back back alive. It was sad when the terrier died.
2) Wet cat food.
3) Cheese. He loved cheese.
4) His owner's bed. All of it.
5) Air conditioning. He was a long hair and summer's were awful.
6) His mom. His mother was wonderful.
7) A chance to really sit down with his owners and have a one to one.

It might have gone something like this:

"Dave," Whiskers would say, sitting up properly and focusing his perfect patchwork eyes upon Dave.

"Yes, Whiskers." Dave was wearing Dockers. Cat hair stuck stubbornly to his red polo.

"Dave, you seem really.. unrelaxed. It was nice when you sat in the recliner. You rarely do that anymore."

"It's the baby, Whiskers - "

"I know, Dave. But just please keeping doing what makes you happy."

"I have no choice - - "

"I just want you to think about it. Now please let me head butt you."

And Whiskers would headbutt Dave, and Dave would scratch Whiskers under his chin and around his jawbones. Whiskers let his tail land lightly on Dave's shoulder, leaving seven long white hair.

"Gretchen," Whiskers would say.

Gretchen would be thrilled. This was every childhood dream. A talking cat. Flying ponies would be next. Anything was possible.

"Gretchen," Whiskers let his stomach relax onto the chair, "Firstly, stop wearing that perfume. Dave's allergic to it. But he bought it for you and he knows it makes you happy, but for both of your sakes, possibly for the sake of your union, please give it up."

And Gretchen would nod, and possibly offer Whiskers a small plate of canned tuna, as this was a special occasion. Dave nibbled on the 'Nilla wafers Gretchen bought for him.

"Gretchen - you're a mother now, and you're a good one. You gave me a good place to live, just as you should have. However, Gretchen, you'll need to tell your baby a very scary word. Your baby needs no."

"But Whiskers - "

"It's not like a cat, Gretchen. Cats don't know no. We know it exists, but honestly, it's a stupid word that has nothing to do with cats, but everything to do with humans and their babies."

**************************

Whiskers smiled at the ideas. These were a good seven wishes. Good seven ideas.

And back in the condo where Whiskers lived, he let his creaky old body relax into the recliner, stretching his haunches until they almost came off the cushion, stretching his back, his toes, every atom of his humming, quietly.

Whiskers closed his eyes, half-breathing, half-purring, until he fell asleep.

New! Kinda Exciting! Depends on Your Perspective!

2010-07-10T08:44:00.002-05:00

Hey look.. It's July. I'm a jerk.

I will return to blabbing on this thing. But until then:

THE RETURN OF OCTOBERDANDY.COM!!!

(Truly, not as exciting as all caps might warrant, but.. hey.. look! What I'm up to professionally to semi-professionally.)

(And I'll fix those lame video links.)

Hoping things are good by you!

Onward.

So much self improvement!

2010-05-05T22:10:00.002-05:00

That's right! I bought a compost bin, went to the gym, and saw my shrink/counselor. I will be self-improved!

All of this self-improvement was quickly tempered by a trip to Dairy Queen. Done and done.

Yesterday, I gave blood. If there's anything that will give you the same moral, civic, sometimes uppity thrill as voting, it's giving blood. It's cheaper than donating to public radio! But with cookies! Plus, they give you the ultimate sign of moral superiority: a sticker. See my sticker, tremble with civic guilt..!

The wonderful thing was that I got to see my two favorite nurses. They are absolutely wonderful and lovely. And might come see Overheard tomorrow..!

Things learned and done today:

- Veterans of Foreign Wars make amazing tacos. My friends Sue and Josh were nice enough to guide me to Winners on the west side of St. Paul, where veterans of foreign wars not only make these beautiful things (they even fried the shells! The salsa was homemade!), but also bring them out to you, and then buy candy bars from their grandkids.

- Performed at Sample Night Live with a group of Improvisers performing "The Quest" - - a Micheal Gellman inspired improv form. We had squirrels and pooping unicorns. For seven minutes, it was seven minutes of fun.

- A string quarter also performed a little bit of "Stairway to Heaven" and there were some lovely familiar faces doing funny things (Hi Joe! Hi Dave!). Thanks, Sample Night!

- My dog might actually be seven years old. A post card from his old old vet (pre-me, in the Pickles timeline) hinted at that.. Who knew?

There was some sort of theme I was going to approach and write about, but it all got washed away.

A gentleman named Vladimir is repairing my bass.

Onward.

Hi

2010-05-04T09:07:00.003-05:00

Without going into too much explanation, I've been hiding. But I'm coming back. As I miss you. Here comes babbling!

Note #1
I splitting a CSA share, which means, every two weeks, a box of lonely vegetables will be waiting for me!

The funny and lovely thing about CSA's is that you don't know what you're going to get. It's like a raw Farmers' Market bento box.. This week I'm getting:

- Ramps! What the hell are ramps?! In the onion and garlic family. Cool. People who like ramps REALLY like ramps.

- French Breakfast Radishs. Ahh.. Of course. The breakfast radish, are otherwise know as the Flambo radish, which is possibly the best thing ever.

- Dogwood or willow. I think this means I get pretty flowers. Or possibly a tree.

I'm also receiving a number of things that are "overwintered". This is an incredibly useful adjective, especially given where I live. This year, most of us have been overwintered.

Note #2
I did a play by a dead playwright! This rarely happens. But the play was lovely (and depressing.. It was "All My Sons" by Arthur Miller, as opposed to "My 3 Sons" which one poor gentleman had actually come to see.)

- I got to play the horrible horrible neighbor. People didn't like me. They wanted to like me (as St. Cloud audiences are basically wonderful and supportive), but then I said really mean things. Which is kind of the arc of the play too. Nice people, nice situation on the surface, and then everything goes to shit. Ah.

- As all of the action take place in a backyard, the theater owners decided to lay sod on the stage. It was impressive! And after two weekends, it was full of gnats. Tricky! Kind of gross! And oddly delightful. The play takes place in August, and by god, we had gnats. Flying into people mouths and getting into the grape drinks. Probably laying eggs in curtains, hanging out on the plastic shrubbery. Gross and kind of funny. Don't mess with nature, she'll bring gnats.

Note #3
I get to go see my sister in a couple of days, on her adopted turf of Tempe, AZ*. I'm going to hang out, eat at El Pollo Supremo, and do her taxes. It's already in the 90's down there. I will sweat, look at graduate student art, and maybe clean her apartment.

Thanks for the babble-listening.

Onward.

*Last time I was in AZ, the NBL All Star Game was in Phoenix. My mom and I stayed at a hoochie-filled Hilton in Scottsdale. It was really really gross. Rarely do I hear mom wonder "how many do you think are prostitutes?" Starf*&ers**, in the very least. Cleavage and other parts no daughter wants her mom to see. Ick poo.

**If I ever use the term "starf*&er, you can smell the poser radiate off of me. But I also feel a little like Tori Amos, circa "Boys for Pele"***. Not necessarily a win win, but there it is.

***Damn fine album.

So that happened..

2010-03-29T14:09:00.003-05:00

I got bitchslapped by my stairs last night.

Every night, my dog wakes me up at either 3 a.m. or 5 a.m. to be asked to be let out.. This is a natural thing for a dog owner, unless you are one of those amazing superstars that crate-trained your puppies. You, friends, are incredible.

I live in a old house with wooden floors and stairs. I had, just last week, had a talk with my friend Matt regarding the slipperiness of stairs.

As far as I can tell, I first slipped on my heel, scraping it, then landed on my tailbone, scraping it and propelling me forward, to scrape up my chest, neck and thunk an amazing thunk into and out of my forehead.

I got up from this, let the dog out, and then promptly passed out in the kitchen, blood pooling and running down the basement stairs.

It sounds hideous, but that's exactly what happened.

I woke up in said pool to Pickles barking outside, wondering where I was and why something hurt. And then promptly began to cry.

Went upstairs, washed off my face, crying. I mostly wanted more sleep, I did not want to see this far into my skin (the skin had separated and was that my skull?), I was in shock. I began to plan and plan (I had a shoot at 9:30 a.m.), crying and crying.. It was the best response I could muster - - maybe as I've been crying so much the last couple weeks, maybe because shock is shock, maybe because it was the best and only response. I put on clothes and drove myself to hospital, holding a paper towel to my head and sobbing.

I've been reading "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, which is so damnedly good and jawdroppingly violent. It's like watching a newsreport, but here we love these characters so much. (sort of the same story as "Battle Royale" - - read both!) I kept thinking about the main character, and her last injury I had just read (whip to face!), and continued to cry and cry.

It's scary to black out. It's scary to have life happen to you. (as the doctor said, it's just life) I got hurt, but it could have been so much worse. And that's probably the scariest.

I was not drunk, I was not hungover, I fell down the stairs, the most cliche' of all injuries, and the hospital staff believed me. Comedically speaking, they shouldn't have. But they did.

Going to the hospital felt like going to a salon. This is beyond my means, you people are paid to do this, please take care of me.

And that's what happened! I wore a hospital gown, they gave me pre-warmed blankets, they asked me what day it was, they popped me full of tetanus shot, they gave me a CT scan and looked at my brain. They wheeled me around on a gurney, which weirdly unexpected. I was with it enough not too laugh at the orderly's (from Crystal, MN) Iowa joke, which caused him to backpedal ("Iowa's not so bad.") They were awesome and professional and called me hon. Usually, someone has to travel at least 500 miles south to be called 'hon' by strangers. Not here.

It's all rapidly becoming all dreamlike. My doctor was awesome. Everyone, including himself, was very impressed with his stitches, of which I have seven.

They let me sleep under bright bright lights, only to be woken by someone screaming "OWOWOWOWWOWWOW! I don't want it in my head!!!" a couple doors down. Emergency rooms.

I drove myself home (which was also stupid, but.. see shoot at 9:30 a.m.), kind of slept for a hour, got up, ironed, did the shoot, and went back home to sleep until the water meter man arrived (he was supposed to arrive next Tuesday).

Thankful things: I'm okay! No need to call or check on me. I have awesome Frankenstein stitches and my head hurts, but I'm okay! The cut is under my bangs, so I could do the shoot this morning. (What if it had been my eye or my cheek? Vanity plays a part, and so does makin' the cash... Not that it should matter AT ALL, but it would have mattered Monday morning..) I'm going to have a scar on my right forehead, but it's not going to be "too bad". I can't see what might have been my skull anymore, and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Lesson #3456: Wake up your roommate and have her drive you to the hospital. This way, you won't get the shocked look of "You drove yourself?" from the hospital staff. Also, your roommate won't be surprised or creeped out when she wakes to blood seemingly everywhere.

Lesson #2225: Time to put runners on the stairs! We must prepare our living places for us. I feel as though I'm ready to toddler-proof the house, but I'm the toddler. I've realized that I cannot and shouldn't live in this house as an old person. I didn't see myself doing that, but.. it's just a affirmation.

When I'm old, I might live in something all short, cute and midcentury, with barely any stairs to trip over. I will have a living room-kitchen-dining-room area, a sunroom with windows, and two small bedrooms, maybe an office. It will be separated enough from the neighbors, that I can outside in my yard or porch and not have to explain my presence. It will in a nice enough area, that I can sleep with my windows open. My dog and cat will shed everywhere and want to destroy the squirrels we see.

This is a lovely dream, and even as I love and adore my house, I like this dream too.

I'm really really tired.

Onward.

I ain't puttin' nuthin'..

2010-03-21T22:04:00.002-05:00

This blog will be all about what I've consumed today. It was, very luckily, a day of bargains.

- I ate 3/4's of a free bagel (shared with the beautiful Rita) at 9:30 a.m. improv rehearsal today. (The bagel was from Panera. Seriously.) And then I stole some wi-fi.

- Sunshine! Sunshine is free.

- I went to the gym - - which does cost. However, I got to see a Beyonce' and Janet Jackson videos while there for free, and music videos are either horrid or fascinating. (i.e. anything by the artist Jesse James stinks of dirty hoo. Beyonce videos are cool. Janet Jackson videos haven't changed in 25 years.)

- I bought almonds and gum. Not free. But really good to have in the car.

- I went to Opitz and got a supposedly $384 dress for $1. Because it was missing a zipper pull. Holy crap!

The psychology of this dress making it to the $1 bin is kinda fascinating. How much does the lack of a small, plastic, replaceable bit depreciate something? Weird. (Granted, if I had $384 to spend on a dress, I'd get the one with the zipper pull. But.. indeed.)

- Visited Hannah at work. Hannah works at the Smitten Kitten, which is a store. However, I didn't buy anything and instead got laughs, stories and hugs. And I might join a book club.

- I went to second improv rehearsal, which don't cost nuthin'. And we learned together.

- I went to Indian with friend Melanie, and shoveled 3x the amount of food I normally eat for dinner into my gullet. Because, supposedly, it was a serving. It was served, in a beautiful platter with tv dinner style compartments, as a serving. And Melanie and I were on a tear. And OHMYGOD it was sooo good. It was stupid good. It tasted like awesome and, afterwards, felt painfully like Thanksgiving. And it cost $15 each. Ridiculous.

I can't do that again any time soon. But.. I sure want to. Thank you, Gandi Mahal!!

- Melanie and I talked about the books we loved during our childhood. Talk is free! (However, how much our parents spent on Weekly Reader or Troll Book orders.. who knows)

- I went for a walk, to try and feel human again, instead of feeling like some Indian eating black hole. Walks are free.

- I went to Improv A Go Go and spent $1 to laugh and laugh. $1!

Troy claiming to be like GizmoDuck shouldn't have tickled me that much. But it did.

There was much cheap or free today. Very lucky.

Tomorrow is about working, as is almost every other day this week. But that's okay. There's much cheap or free to be grateful for.

Onward.

P.S. Saw the Bread and Puppet Theater last night, which, is all about the free and the cheap. Goodness, yes. Funny, talented, fucking way too hip people. Nerds! The making of the plays with puppets shouldn't be cool, but it's really cool. Garbage bags were birds, old table cloths were mountains.. AND, the best ostriches EVER, along with the best and nastiest devil too.

Puppets let you say things and tell stories you couldn't do with just you. It's like cartoons.

And then they give you bread with garlic, which hangs out in your mouth and your nose, as you process what you just saw. Did you like it, did you not. The bread and garlic and thoughts were for free, even if you paid those serving it to do what they did. As you should.

"Sheep, like clouds, escaped through the cracks in heaven."

Puppet shows DO need good audiences..

It was also wonderful to watch a group of multi-talented generalists perform together. Good.

P.S.S. Inside of Gandi Mahal, there is a play area for kids, which rules. They had all these plastic toys, including an Elmo speak and say, laid on polished wooden shelves. There was a moment of cognitive dissonance, as I had seen plastic toys on polished wooden shelves just before. Ah yes.. all of the vibrators and dildos at the Kitten. Brain feels weird for a moment, and shakes it off quick.

Lake runnin'!

2010-03-18T09:12:00.002-05:00

Yes! For St. Patrick's Day, I (kinda) ran around the lake FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR! Yes. Just like my Irish ancestors would have. There's a lake, let's use what precious energy we have, and spend it running around it. And then pray for forgiveness.

My Irish ancestors were, I assume, pretty awesome and probably pretty catholic. I'm lucky to be here, alive, existing, American, all of it - - and nothing gets what strained Irish (?) pride I have up like downtown St. Paul in the afternoon on St. Patrick's Day.

I love the idea of being Irish. I can't wait to go across to visit and see all the green, and maybe some sheep. But.. you bunch of drunkie fakers. So much grossness. I'm sure there's fun there too, but I can't find it through all shirts bought at Target and plastic cups.

My great grandma Jeffries would certainly not have approved.

That being said, maybe it would have helped if I had been drinking too. But it was 12:30 p.m. in the afternoon, and the rest of the day was still waiting.

I don't think that this sort of Mardi Gras was a part of Irish culture. Was it? I say here here and rah rah to Mardi Gras and Carneval and all the rest. (They're awesome traditions! You crazy Catholics! Holy crap!)

But St. Patrick's Day in Minnesota feels so.. weird. Perhaps I needed to hear more plaintive, heart broken singing with fiddles. Perhaps less Coors Lite and more Jameson. Perhaps it's that my completely stereotypical and constructed image of this culture does not fit this other completely stereotypical and constructed image of the "culture". Maybe it's just all the Minnesotan nordic drunkies bein' dumb (Didn't the vikings come kidnap a bunch of Irish as slaves and found Iceland? yes they did!). Maybe I'm just gettin' old.

Truth: If you're a lady over 75 covered in shamrocks, you're probably adorable. If you're a guy under 25 covered in shamrocks, you might be a douche.

Driving home, looked over to see guys openly drinking while driving on the freeway out of clear plastic cups. AGGGHHHH... They were from Ohio. (Ohio, we're still cool.)

Today's scheduled to be a long day. But full of good stuff. Also, I won't be wearing green, as the Pinching Threat Level has dropped, ironically, from orange (curse the Dutch!) to green (erin go bragh).

(There's still sunshine! Even if it snows tomorrow, please enjoy this today!)

Onward.

The skin gets tired...

2010-03-16T10:23:00.002-05:00

This blog ain't about anything at all. But I needed a pick me up, so I shall write to you, friends.

Damn, the animals are needy this morning. Sebastian (the cat) promptly wakes me up at 8:15 a.m. every morning. If I don't get up, there is plaintive meow-related hell-to-pay. Perhaps some finger-nibbling. This morning was filled with plaintive I'm-obviously-in-a-lot-of-soul-pain meowing from down the hall. (you know.. so I have to get up)

Pickles (the dog) asks to either be pet, or let out, by scratching at me.

Thank goodness that they are both under 20 lbs, for if they were Great Dane or small Mountain Cat sized, I'd be bleeding and beaten.

Spring in MN is the season of poop. The poop lies hidden underneath the snow, sleeping, for months - - now it is everywhere. Poop wants to get inside the house, to join it's friends in the litterbox. You have to Gene Kelly dance from the garage to the house. Poop.

Things:

- Saw Pocohontas County at the 331 with dear friends Josh & Sue last night. I am not the world's biggest bluegrass fan, but sweet christ, they're adorable. Four or so young guys, and one man, probably in his 70's. Certainly in a cowboy hat. What's their story? Did the young guys discover the old guy and ask him to teach them the ways of old timey music, or did the old guy descend from the heavens and pass them each a fiddle, banjo and stand up bass?

Snark moment: Despite my rahrah of this band, do tribal tattoo's go with banjo pickin'? The cool and hip part of me says "of course!". The grumpy and old part of me thinks it looks dumb, and accuses banjo-poser-ing, that you're abusing the dork-coolness of the instrument. Because you might have gotten the tattoos before you got the banjo. Because you should, in my mind, be secretly playing a didgeridoo instead.

But I'm also a hater, and dude could play the banjo pretty damn well. See, you can have big cuffy arm tattoo's and play the banjo. Just like you can wear a bonnet and know how to work a chainsaw. The world has room for all of this.

See, I am fully of hate-y judgement - - you kids these days! I will happily go see them again, unless they find this blog, and kick me out.

- Saw "Green Zone" with Josh & Sue too, as Sue wanted to see some big 'splosion movie. There was MUCH 'splosion! Much grainy 'splosion.

Spoiler:

a) Greg Kineer started the Iraq war.
b) Matt Damon let the truth be known.
c) If you talk in sound clips, it's a war movie.
d) The asshole Special Forces guy looked like Bono! Could this have been ironic?

(oh.. It's Jason Isaacs with a handlebar. Lucius Malfoy with dark hair. hrm. Never mind. That's two Harry Potter actors in this film, the other being the excellent Brendan Gleeson. Holy crap - - Matt Damon is Harry Potter! Greg Kinneer is Voldemort! .. now the film makes sense. Got it.)

That was my Monday. I am very lucky. I also (kinda) ran around a lake! W00t! First (kinda) lake running of the season.

Soon, trips to St. Cloud to perform some heavy Arthur Miller will be happening. But first, there's 2nd and 3rd graders to wrangle, and pray that their parents are cool. (Which they are, admittedly). Let us pray, instead, that I have my act together for class this afternoon. It'll be a trip.

I'm tired and I'm a bit beat, but I'm so proud of some incredible people. People are doing amazing things right now, for themselves, personally. I'm amazed, grateful and proud.

Onward.

You ever..

2010-03-09T11:52:00.002-06:00

You ever ask for something, and then immediately start to regret it.

Or wonder if it was the right choice. It seems so much like the right choice some hours ago.

I've asked to not receive some awesomeness.

All I want to do is cry again.

Fuck.

I'll blog about happy things again soon, but right now I'm just all a sensitive mess.

Onward.

It caught up with me

2010-03-06T19:01:00.002-06:00

I think everything finally caught up with me.

I watch my schedule like a hawk - - check, recheck. Admire it's ship-shap-ed-ness.

However, I didn't recheck the call time of a show that's returning this weekend. I thought my call was 6 p.m.: guess what started at 4:30 p.m.? Guess what I completely missed?

Thank god for awesome stage managers, and amazing ladies willing to step in at a moment's notice.

I try to load my schedule to the brim when work is available. If I miss something, yes, there is free time, but I'm not making money (and I build a flaky reputation. I don't want that any more of that than what comes naturally.) My schedule, like everyone else's, depends on being where you're supposed to be. The first part of success is showing up.

When the somewhat rare occasion happens that I actually miss something, I feel like a failure on so many levels. And it shows that I have been a 'failure' over so many weeks. Emails, attachments, every sort of reminder was there, sent happily to my inbox door. But I thought I had it right.

It sucks when, sometimes, you can't even trust yourself.

So stupid. Really brain dead dumb. Can't make excuses, gotta get with it.

Hoping that I'm haven't actually secretly busted brain cells, that make this sort of mistake possible. (I haven't been partaking in much behavior that would actually do that. Unless, it's been my impressive intake of almonds and water. I now drink a lot of water. I also eat a lot of almonds. I also try to call my mom on a regular basis. I am very boring.)

Perhaps my cat has added something to the air filter. Maybe my house is making me dumb. See where this line of thinking takes us?

Maybe I should just ACTUALLY double-check my calendar, be skeptical of everything I put down there, breathe, and move on.

Everything worked out tonight. The show went on: I'm very lucky.

Onward.

It's just those days..

2010-02-02T12:43:00.002-06:00

(I really like this picture. Like really really. Heh. The most adorable and awkward Midsummer's ever. ARRRRRT!!!)

I've spent the last three hours in admin mode. An email here, a touch there, a keeping up.. Then I dusted my front room carpet. Nothing's finished, nothing's done, everything's up in the air.

Cool thing: I'm going to the gym, where I'm going to finish memorizing a certain "Lost in Science" script.. Excellent!

Cool thing: Was lucky enough to be a part of a Shakespeare workshop yesterday. I now know that perfect amount of information: I am now certainly dangerous.

I loved the workshop. It was basically how to attack a script and, per the Globe, a stage. And each passage was like what I would daydream an archeological site/puzzle to be.. this means this, and this is a reference to this, and how do you say that, and check the meter, and what does the meter mean, and oohhhh! Plus ACTING!!! And gods and goddesses and kings and faeries and love and lots of blood and ACTING!

The gentleman (Eight years at the Globe! Really!) mentioned that he believes that how theater is done now'a'days is very alienating (which is why Hamlet said "we'll hear a play", but now, instead, we got to "see" them - - there's no more listening on either side. The audience has little stake in what's in front of them.) And this shot my brain into a big ole improv/interactive theater buzz. Why do people come and see interactive theater/improv? I do not know, but both art forms, at times, can be the opposite of alienation. Neither cannot exist in a audience-less vacuum: we are audience dependent (at most times.. certainly not at all times).

Interactive Theater, the American cheese of the art world, may be the future of theater! Improv, the daydream of the art world, will guide us and give us penguins! Active art making! Neat!

Smarter people will say it better. At least, less distracted people than I am today.

Then, I went to an audition (which included material which is almost exactly the opposite of what I'm blabbing about, but was super fun anyway).

I need to get up and go. And vacuum the front room. And get out of the house. But yet, stay in the house and do all the crap I should do. URRRGH. Let's just go, shall we.

Onward.

More than monthly..

2010-02-01T11:14:00.005-06:00

Well.. trying.

How to eat oatmeal: With almonds and raisins and brown sugar. If you drop about a 1/4 cup of brown sugar into your oatmeal on accident, accept that it was meant to be. Drink with strong coffee if possible. Give to dog afterwards.

How to keep warm: wear lots and lots of layers. Feel exhausted as you're always covered by 20 pounds of depression.

How to watch PRIMEVAL! (Instantly Watchable on the Netflix): Recently started watching "Primeval", which, like much of British SciFi, is delightful, cheesy, and improbable. With DINOSAURS! (and some classy old horror-movie type movie tricks. And lots of Willhelms)

Anywhoo, a "time rift" has opened in Scotland.. London.. whichever. "Time rift".

Luckily, Scotland/London has a slightly sardonic and hardworn handsome paleontologist, along with his assistant, who is "not gay". (The subtext is waayyyyy better if Stephen loves Professor Nick). The rest of this hardscrabble team is made up of a geek and a pretty punk-ish girl. Everyone wears alot of H & M. They're constantly berated by beurocrats. And then there's a swat team. Was this written for 13 year old boys? YES!

Let's put this into the context of a drinking game:

a) Take a drink anytime the cute smart punk girl is seen in her underwear
b) Take a drink anytime Stephen looks to Nick for guidance.. but in a heartfelt way
c) Take a drink anytime the beaurocrat gives Nick a hard time, but then relents
d) Take a drink anytime Captain Tom Ryan goes in with his swat team to GET SHIT DONE!
e) Take a drink anytime the geek does something that actually works
f) Take a drink every time a crush is unrequited
g) Finish the bottle every time a crush is requited, but then is made impossible.

See? Nice clear archetypes. Perfect soap opery British fare. All of this, AND DINOSAURS!?!!!!

Pretty good looking dinosaurs too, in that new-fangled-shiny-British-BBC sort of way.

"Slings and Arrows" it ain't, but it is silly fun.

(I could possibly subsist on a media diet of Venture Bros., Flight of the Conchords, Slings and Arrows, Anthony Bourdain and now.. erm.. Primeval. *sigh* Thank you, Canadians. Thank you, Kiwis. Thank you, New Yorkers. I love you all.)

This has been a remarkably indulgent and not-personal-at-all blog. Erm. Along those lines, I also actually read a book too. "The Graveyard Book", which is possibly the best damn book I have read in years. Thanks, Neil. :)

"We Gotta Bingo" bings for another weekend (with a possible comeback in March? Who knows.. Minnesotans might really need to bingo more.) It's been lovely fun, with the best cast in the world. And the best band in the world. (This weekend, I got to dance with a 4 year old girl who told me, quite seriously, "I know how to really rock and roll." Yes, you do, Clementine. Awesome.) Improv A Go Go doesn't come back for a couple of weeks, but there's plenty to do in the meantime.

Hoping things are good.

Onward.

IT BEGINS!! A list..

2010-01-12T10:04:00.003-06:00

Yes. The January we all knew was coming. It should be fun. Let's do this!

a) Six Ring Circus begins again! (good god, there's a myspace page) Students and graduates of the Brave New Institute perform improv for a nominal donation.. it's awesome.

The team I coach, Dr. Rocket, just gained three more members. This team's collective I.Q. is intimidating. Thankfully, they use their powers for good. They're up tonight at 7:30 p.m., at the Brave New Workshop! $1 donation! w00t!

b) We Gotta Bingo opened last weekend, and got a really nice review. Thursdays - Sundays at Hennepin Stages, through February 6th! W00t!

c) OMG! This Friday ONLY at the Mixed Blood Thea tre, 11 p.m., $5 - - lovely improv ladies recount awkward stories of their adolescence. It's brilliant.

d) Improv A Go Go this Sunday at the Brave New Workshop, 8 p.m., $1 - - Explorer's Club returns!! Along with the mysterious Snakes & Cakes.. All of which makes me giddy.

e) If you're at the MOA, myself and co-worker Rebecca will be performing at 12noon, Saturday - Monday, as part of their eCommunity event. We will be dressed like caffeinated water droplets, as that's basically what we are.

If you're a performer in the Twin Cities, you will probably end up performing at least once at the MOA. As Mr. Doughty says, 'we're all going to Reseda'. The MOA might be my Reseda.

BUT, it's an adorable show (directed by the awesome Shanan Custer, no less), and we will teach you about the hydrologic cycle. See?

.. and then we'll go to Nordstrom's Rack. Just cuz.

f) I start teaching again. Yea!!!! It's the sum total of 6 hours of my week, but it's what carries the most weight for me. It requires the most preparation, and also the most fuck-it-all. It feels like going to war. But a really silly war. Perhaps just a police action. I'm excited. Wish us all luck.

Also...

I can't make it, but you should go... My bf is performing at Rick Bronson's House of Comedy at the MOA, tonight at 8 p.m.. Auditioning for the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival. THIS IS SO COOL. And the comics involved are just plain, stupidly awesome.

Come out Tuesday Jan 12 and see 12 professional comedians audition for a spot on the biggest and most influential comedy festival in the world: The Montreal Just For Laughs Festival. Show starts at 8pm. Each comic is doing six minutes of time. Please come out and support the Twin Cities scene and laugh your ass off.

Hosted by Rudy Pavich and featuring special guest John Conroy. Here are the comics who will be performing for a spot in order:

Gabe Noah
Jamie Blanchard
Dwight York
Maggie Faris
Mike Brody
Bill Young
Steve Gillespie
Kjell Bjorgen
Patrick Bauer
Tommy Thompson
Chris Maddock
Jessi Campbell

Madness! Really cool stuff, honestly. I feel like I've been typing in exclamation marks for the entirety of this blog.

Final cool things:

a) Streamable MS3TK on netflix.

b) Streamable Anthony Bourdain on netflix.

c) The Cleveland Show is still funny (and on hulu).

d) If your pasta dish tastes boring, add salt and bake it.

e) Clementines are in season.

Hoping your Tuesday is lovely! (I have 4 minutes to shower)

Onward.

That image made me very happy.

2010-01-11T10:42:00.002-06:00

But not prefacing it just made it jerky. So sorry!

So to temper this, I am including a posting from "The Daily Puppy". It's very important.

His name is Darwin, and he's "quite the little social director whenever in a group of other puppies."

There. I feel better. Good morning!

Onward.

heh. :)

2010-01-11T10:41:00.001-06:00

Bad kid!! Bad kid me!!

2010-01-10T11:14:00.003-06:00

Ohhhhhh. I've gotten back into the once-a-month posting habit. Which, as we know, is bullcocky. But thank you lovely people!! For reading and things!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Sending hugs at you right now, wherever you are!!

My mom was in town. For nearly a week. (Given the xmas snow beating we took, she waited until routes were pronounced clear by the weather gods. Or at least pronounced non-apocalyptical. Which is fun to say.) I had taken the week off around xmas to hang out with her. For better or worse, she arrived as my schedule was kicking in again. Ah well..

The time she spent was wonderful and so generous of her!! It is also the interruption of quasi-normal routines, and acknowledging that I spent all of 30 minutes of the week alone. (During that time, I tried a exercise routine off of the hulu.com. This is what might do, if you are 34.)

What we did:

- Take Your Mom to Work Day! Luckily, I work in a museum, so there is much to see, and many nice people to show your mom off to. The steps to showing off your mom involve:

a) "Hey, this is my mom!!"

b) Everyone says nice things.

Win!!

- Snack! We destroyed boxes of Triscuits. I could not be happier. We did not snackrifice.

- Wallpapered the kitchen ceiling. There is nothing more terrifying than taking a wet, sticky patterned yard of paper, and matching it to another wet, sticky patterned yard of paper - - above your head. Why?! Neither of us wallpaper -- Neither of us were raised that way*!

But it's done. The kitchen ceiling looks lovely. We didn't swear that much. We faced our fears. It was the hero cycle over and over.

- She came and saw "We Gotta Bingo** ***". Which was so awesome of her. (and Sue and P-Bau!! Thank you!!) No one should have to experience interactive theater unless they really really want to. I don't know if any of them really really wanted to, but they did it!! Thank you!!!

And now she's safely back in Sux City. Merrr..

Things I'd like for 2010:

- Gotta see family more. I don't have that much family. This should not be that big of a deal. Mom needs to be seen at least once a season. I need to get down to AZ to visit my sis. Or, better yet, meet them someplace fun. Which brings us to...

- Keep the travel bug alive. It's so easy to get caught in schedules - - make the time, save the money, make it happen.

- Listen to more classical music. Oh man. I technically have a degree in music. The last twelve years of my life have been orchestra-free (which the previous ten years of my life involved a lot of youth symphony. And college symphony. And pit orchestras. I caught the youtube clip of Amanda Palmer playing Tchaikovsky.. I know this piece. I've accompanied this piece. It's big and show off-y. And lovely.)

So, yes. More classical music. Maybe start with the easy stuff - - which is Dvorak and Copeland for me. Big, gorgeous, melodic picturesque shit - - with lost of brass. And then move into the brainier stuff. A woodwind quartet (which sometimes sound like really talented ducks). A stuff-up-your-shirt minuet. I can feel that this may be like going to the gym.. but I'll feel really good afterwards, honestly.

- Blog more. More blogging makes for better blogs.

Speaking of, this one is running long. And blabby. Happy January thaw, lovely people!

Last note: I dreamt last night that I died. And as they were throwing the dirt on my face, I was just trying to convince myself to let go, and I couldn't. Macabre dream #256.

Onward.

*Honestly. I was raised warned about the terrors of wallpaper. It's a bitch to take off. It's there forever. It's not worth the effort. I was similarly warned about democrats and ear-piercing.. and non-land-grand universities.

**"We Gotta Bingo" is open until the first weekend of February! W00t! This weekend was our opening weekend - - we're all exhausted. A four show weekend is awesome. A four show weekend following a week of rehearsals (plus real life) is tuckering.

*** I love being part of a cast which is mostly over 30. We do our job, we have fun, we support each other, we maybe go out for a drink afterwards, we have kids, we have jobs, we go home. There's a normalcy to it and to this group of people. Even if we play dress up. So very lucky.

What can you say..

2009-12-09T09:50:00.003-06:00

I need to get up and create a driveway. But..

- Hot Yoga again! This time I dressed appropriately, brought water, and survived! Perhaps not the mindblowing experience of last time, but delicious!

- Tried Yoga Sculpt. It was a poor decision, although I may go again. (pleasepleaseplease let not the 23 year old yoga instructor think that the classics station is perfect background for body rock. Jon Bon Jovi, unless drunkenly sung at a wedding, is nasty.)

- "Yoga Sculpt" handed my ass to me. Ow.

- This studio (I feel like a tool saying studio) is not about happy-making yoga. This is get-fit-and-talk-about-your-abs yoga. I like the exercise, but miss the happy-making yoga. I will go on search for happy-making yoga. Until then, my "abs" feel super special.

- It's such a weird mix of people. There's people who look like me, then there's suburban housewives, there's generally two business men, and then there's people who are probably fire dancers and models in their real life. (The firedancers and models come to class in dreads, earrings and little else. Amongst the suburban housewives dressed in Calvin Klein yoga gear. Fascinating!)

Beyond that...

- I've gone to some auditions, I've taught, I've worked, I've seen some lovely people..

- Spiked opened! Delightful! Again, secret code of "Santa" gets you discounted tickets, yes. :)

- I've been basically circling. Not really getting anything done - - just maintaining. My house is basically clean (even if it needs repair), my laundry is kinda clean (it's folded!), the dishes are kinda clean, the pets are basically healthy (gotta dope Pickles' ears).. Maintain maintain. Anything new or created? Not so much. ... Except for my 2009 Xmas mix, which doesn't really count. If you would like a copy, I will be sharing with you as soon as I see you in real life.

Time to shower and freeze..

Onward!

People seem happy

2009-12-03T12:34:00.002-06:00

People seem happy at the museum today. That's nice. I forget that people, when they come to a museum, are generally happy to be there. It's a break in their routine. That's nice.

Things:

- Diego (as in "Go, Diego, Go") is teaching our children ("our" children? What a jerky thing to say. Presumptive.) ...things. I do a short show about Bears at the Museum. I've had at least two under-five kids get all up about the Spectacled Bear (the only bear in South America).

a) Spectacled? That's just damned hard to say.

b) What person over 30 has heard of the Spectacled Bear?

c) Chupacabra-Diego-mash-ups are inevitable.

- We went to Java Train yesterday. It was actually really lovely.

a) It's.. train themed. Trains and silos.

b) They have a train for your children to play in. When children play in a train, they scream a lot. Much like hobos would.

c) You can get hot dogs, mac n' cheese and ice cream at Java Train. ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! Hoboriffic!

- Back to tech rehearsal tonight! Er.. Dress rehearsal. Since I'm pattering in three's..

a) The music is beautiful! That Dennis knows how to arrange a song!

b) The sketches are funny! That Jim! That Josh Will! That Racheal! Delightful!

c) Pickles might have a part in it. (Pickles is my tiny dog with a bum leg.)

Pickles says promo code "Santa" for tix! And check out our calendar, to see what fancy guest star will make a fancy cameo appearance! (This Sunday, Ferrari McSpeedy!!)

Spiked.

Onward.

Tut tut...

2009-12-02T09:52:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a grease'plosion! A delicious delicious grease'spolision. Along the lines of "hey, 23 year old, wanna live? Like really really live!? Let's do this!"

To show you how serious we were, for a tiny dinner, we shared some poutine at Duplex.

And you're thinking, Jen, that looks disgusting. To which I would answer:

a) yes. It is. It's french fries, fresh cheese curds and gravy.

b) Canadians love it!

c) If you order it at Duplex, it looks all sexy n' stuff, honest.

Just a little half order. To justify, you can say, well.. it's like you ordered fries, and then a cheese and gravy sandwich. Somehow, that makes it better.

And, then, around 10 p.m., we made scotch eggs.

Egads! A scotch egg is a hardboiled egg, wrapped in sausage, breaded, then fried. We did it all homemade..

a) Fairly easy to make!

b) It's super comforting food! Like if breakfast came in baseball-sized portions.

c) Yeah...

Today, it's all oatmeal and apples and seaweed and slaps in the face. Promise. Yesterday, truly, was epic.

Saturday was a trip to Duluth! Unless you work in the service industry, people move a bit slower in Duluth.

a) Hi lake! Except when you swallow people, I likes ya!

b) Got up to do a couple of guest sets. Yes. I am trying stand up. I have some jokes. I need to write more.

c) I improved! Second guest set went fairly well. First guest set, I heard the drunk guy on stage left whisper "transsexual". What? Fine.

d) Met one of the most terrifying people. A very very drunk 23-ish year old 6'4" blonde tattoo'd infant of a man with military training. Who wanted to tell the stand ups how awesome they were by yelling and slapping them hard on the shoulder. And then getting horrifyingly quiet for about 30 seconds. Jesus.

We ate breakfast at Uncle Louis' and headed home. (Some guy wanted to win the "Hey I'm gregarious game!" here. Super jovial, his whole family basically surrounding me, but got almost offended when I tried to talk back. Let's play the gregarious game! Nope, it's a one man show. Sorry.. jerk.)

Ended up hosting Sunday Funday Double Team at the Spring Street, which was fun, until I was reminded about that whole not-being-23 thing again.

Note: If you do stand up, people might want to buy you shots. They think it's fun. It's really not. Really really not. Please eat some seaweed.

Happy Wednesday, friends! :)

Onward.

It's a little bit funny.. this feeling inside..

2009-11-27T20:40:00.004-06:00

- I have a new tire. Thanks, Tires Tires Tires.

- Some gentleman who wasn't quite right decided to show everyone (including my mom) in the waiting room why men like Dodge products, as the Dodge Ram logo looks like fallopian tubes.

- To South Dakota! Grandpa looks awesome. Pam got a sassy new haircut. We ate a plate of beige. I've blogged about Tobie's before!!

- We drive back from SD through NE to IA. Rolly pretty. Mom points out where another horrible massacre happened. (That particular account linked is from 1896 and is wincingly horrible and racist. And the accounts that actually happened are also absolutely horrible.)

- Despite the horrible things that happened so close, NE Nebraska/NW Iowa is filled with some of the nicest people in the world. Eye contact and hellos from strangers! Dreamy!

- We get home and a lovely friend stops by! Yeaa!!

I don't wanna go. It's starting to hang in. This was too short. I miss my family. It's nice to be all together again.

"Pushing Daisies" really is a lovely show.

Onward.

P.S. Soon to come, a breakdown of Venture Bros. females! How all of the women who will actually have sex with the male characters must have one horrible, possibly disfiguring flaw (low creepy voice, invisible outer layer of skin) while the one actually possibly physically perfect woman (Molatav Cocktease) won't. What does it mean?? (NOTHING!) You're welcome.

Onward.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2009-11-26T10:15:00.002-06:00

Quick little notes before getting back to SUX family mom time:

- Up was a beautiful, loving, funny, cautionary tale about obsession.

- I loved it, and laughed and cried much.

- Finished off, with mom, that bottle of 2002 Beringer White Cabernet Sauvignon from the basement.

- Did the aging process help it? What was originally supposed to taste like? I'm assuming apple juice.

- Should a cab be white? No! It was a very racist pink bottle of wine.

- I have the slighted, pink-colored headache this morning.

It's good to be back in the familiar. I am thanksful for blue skies and couches, and to just having family and for the family themselves. To house and home and shelter, clean air and water and the good things that come from them. To puppy dogs and kitty cats. To the people, who aren't here, whom I'm lucky enough to know and love. Which includes you - - THANK YOU!! Sending love your way. I am blessed and thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving... :)

Onward.

Am I doing this wrong?

2009-11-25T11:10:00.004-06:00

There's moments, such as last night, such as this morning, that I get stuck and sad. And right now, that brand of stuckness is "am I doing this wrong? I might be bad at life. This sucks. I'm sad."

I don't feel like counting blessings. I feel like wallowing in this for a while.

I will count my blessings. I just don't feel like it right now.

Before jumping into the pile of Fuck-it-All, let's check on our weekly horoscope..

I agree with football coach Lou Holtz, who said, "The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood." It's possible to work around this difficulty, however. What you have to do, before you unleash your levity, is conjure up empathy for the sourpuss in question. You should also make sure that your intention is not to mock or poke at the person, but instead offer a potential escape from his or her locked energy. By my calculations, you could be an expert at this kind of psychic judo right now. For best results, practice on yourself. Whenever you're headed toward a negative thought or emotion, nudge yourself away with a jest or wisecrack.

:( .. I will get on that. As soon as I'm able. I promise.

a) Dr. Rocket had one of their best damn set at Six Ring Circus last night. Goddamn. I greedily want them to submit for TCIF and IAGG and all that goodness. That little light of their's, I wanna watch it shine for a very long time. Go, gentlemen, go.

b) I've started Christmassing. I do like Christmassing. Certain things are being purchased. I hope certain people like them.

c) I didn't get the part that I had second callback for. My response to this is mostly "Aw, that's okay." I wanted it, but I didn't really expect to get it. Just proud to get second callbacked.

d) A poorly done haiku:

I'm jumping into

My Kia. It needs an oil

Change. Such is life, yes?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your's.

Onward.

Ohhhh, Thanks, Friends!

2009-11-24T10:17:00.003-06:00

Thank you so much for a) reading b) responding. That's it. Michele is right. There's nothing better than people letting you know they read and they're okay with what you're writing. Thank you thank you thank you!!

Sunday was a lovely zoom. My Saturday horoscope told me to be on time for everything on Saturday (I did good!) and it carried over to Sunday. Yea! We Tony n' Tina'd for over 300 people, then to Improv A Go Go (where we got to be dirty and at least talk about all the stuff.. - - naughty, but fun. We didn't actually get to the skullf**king, but we probably should have.. maybe.)

And then Troy and James made me cry. w00f. In that deep-I-am-so-throughly-delighted-way that my nose has no excuse but to run. Yea! (James Moore, my friends, is up for anything, and that's makes me so happy. Very lucky.)

Then to SpringStreet to see good good people, and to home.

Monday got usurped by "Hot Yoga". One hour of "Hot Yoga" and I was worthless for the rest of the day.

a) You step into a room in your already stinky, unwashed yoga clothes. You notice that the room is set around 100 degrees f and humid. Dear god.

b) You lay on your yoga mat, contemplating the fate you have actively chosen for yourself. The person beside you is already sweating. We're doomed.

c) A very positive and firm woman walks in, and shows you how to breathe (first by pressing your fists into your neck.) I assume that certain things require that you breathe differently, but the only other thing I can think of beside yoga is pregnancy.

d) You sweat and sweat and oh and you stare at yourself in the mirror and you look at other people and your mind is so caught up in how damn hot it is, that there's no time for any other annoying nagging grocery-list thoughts. Enlightenment achieved!

e) We start doing alot of little Savasan (death) poses in between moves towards the end, which sounds all sexy and petite mort-ish but is really, at this moment, laying down for 20 seconds and praying that the firm woman will let us do this more.

f) She also has us rub our third eyes on our knees to "wake it up". I love the idea that my third eye is just really sleepy from too many cartoons and milk shakes.

g) Some of the stretches were for "wringing out our colons" and some were for our lymph nodes. I am soaked in colonic excrement and tummy toxins. I wonder how bad the room must smell, but it's currently too hot to smell anything. Everything's instantly turning to vapor and then to find particulate ash, certainly.

h) There is always at least 1-2 yoga bad-asses in the class. They tend to have chunky arm tattoos and concentrating snake-like eyes. I wonder how they go through the rest of their lives, what they do for a living. Does the rest of the world see how bad ass they are? Do they actually float to work or just materialize? I do not know.

i) Class is done. The firm woman shares in her thankfulness. We are all exhausted and beaten and thankful.

k) I am soaked. The women's showers fill up really fast. (I think there were only two gentlemen in the class itself.) I ask the firm lady about my hyper-extending elbows. Her name is Jennifer.

l) I leave shaken and floaty. I feel destroyed. I cross Excelsior to wander blinky through Trader Joe's.

m) I NOW FEEL GREAT! Water tastes amazing. Let us unyieldingly step into the world and breathe. I buy frozen veggies and use my purse as my shopping bag. I am wearing a Rainbow Bright sweatshirt. W000000...

n) I spend the rest of the day intaking cream based soups, cured meats, wine, coffee, 2 cigarettes, and 3 pieces of frozen pizza (which has formed a baseball shaped lump in my lower.. tummy). ...Owww.

Also, got to see dear friend Sue yesterday. Awesomes. I think I talked her ear off. I owes her.

Today is taking some photos (I hope it goes well! The subject matter is awesome, I just worry about light and things) and Six Ring and hanging out with the boy until tomorrow comes. Tomorrow begins family. oooooooof! Good, but also very comfortable here in Minneapolis. Right now, on the couch, tomorrow sounds intimidating. But it will be good! GOOOD! (right? please?)

Onward.

It's a foodie sort of day.

2009-11-21T20:40:00.003-06:00

But first..

Things I like:

- Train songs (you know, Johnny Cash with some where to go..)

- Sing-a-longs (come now, I was born in 1975. How many times did I see the Coke-a-Cola commercials? How much did my mom vacuum to Cat Stevens? Much.)

- Backing vocals (we'll talk about that Edward Sharpe and his army of singers later)

It seems I also like songs that have videos of Canadians walking through the woods in masks.

Basia Bulat's "In the Night" (Jen's xmas mix 2008!) - ooh! Isn't she adorable? Isn't her hair perfect? Is that an autoharp? Look, furries! Skeletons! ooh! That's good folk rock video, friends.

And now, unexpectedly, the Hidden Camera's "Awoo" (almost Jen's xmas mix 2006, switched out for "Boys of Melody") .. Why, here's the video!

(the screen shot at moment 2:13 and 2:26 might be my favorites. Dancing wolf heads!*)

Goodness. Did something happen in Canada? Was camping suddenly a trend? Did Jung become very popular amongst the friendly folky rocker sorts? Well done, Canuck art students of the world!

Anywhoo..

It was the last day of class with the 9ish-13 year olds, and I'm speechless. Crap. I'll miss them. This was so good. When class embodies those perfect mixes, when we are so lucky to be amongst the best of company - - smart and funny and weird and brave. So, here is to Noah, Kevin, Sophie, Liz, Gabriella, Talia, Brianne, Emma, Kayli and Mackensie. And to their parents, who were a joy. And laughed and laughed at their performance. It's an awesome thing to see this age group get belly laughs, and to see them relish in it. Oooh. That's good.

I stopped by the MCAD art sale. NOT BAD, you arty people you. It also was interesting to be in a Minnesota moment, jamming crowds of people into tight spaces to look at stuff. Much like the State Fair or Grand Ol' Days, but with more coffee and white paint.

Then to Keefer (see previous food happy post), then to a callback, then to the Museum where three to four years olds announced to me that all one needed to protect oneself against the chill of the Arctic Circle is a rainbow.

It was a very lucky day.

I stopped for tiny dinner and a drink at the Red Stag before heading home, and totally got to see Butch & Katharine by chance! Ah! Delightful!!

Katharine noted how funny it was to see each other at this particular business, as it's a restaurant owned by a woman that we once both worked for. (I actually met Katharine first, in the year 1999/2000 or so. She did an awesome job. My performance was questionable. Back then, I had met/seen Butch only briefly, enough to tell Katharine that her fiance' was very awesome and very funny. She showed me her wedding binder. Katharine, then and now, kicks ass.) So, 1o years later, here we are. *grin*

We are very lucky, it's true.

Red Stag is and was an indulgence.

a) Butch was right about the martini. Goddamn smooth. Thank you, Splendid Things, for the wooden drink-fetching nickel!

b) I had a small plate of pork belly with fennel and pureed leeks. Meaning, basically, for dinner, I had a fat'splosion. Oh man. Even the leeks had fat in them (olive oil and possibly cream). Delicious fat'splosion!!!

c) I had a Spanish coffee for dessert. Ollie, the kickass bartender, carmelized the sugar on the glass by lighting brandy in said glass on fire. It was beautiful and ridiculous. Good god. (Unfortunately, all my brain could compare it too was Quark's on Deep Space Nine. Drinks with dry ice in them and such. Merh. This does not do the pretty blue flame justice.)

Now I am home, and the animals have been fed, and I need to empty the cat box. It was a long day, but it was good. Someone awesome comes home late tonight, and that's really really awesome.

Tomorrow, Suburban World and Vikings and the LAST TONY & TINA'S and Improv A Go Go and then the Spring Street. hew.

Onward.

P.S. I've been using the phrase "In their wheelhouse" way too often the last two weeks. I am a poser. Please stop me.

*I can't see anyone in an over-sized cardboard head without thinking of Jimmy deSimone in one himself in one of the last (?) Collective Fringe shows.. Was he Jimmy Stewart? Was he Kapra? Was he President Carter? The brain blurs.

Hey, there's pork in my donut - a food post

2009-11-21T15:09:00.002-06:00

Yes. Here is to Keefer Bakery, makers of fine and cheap Chinese pastries. (You already know where it is. On the West Bank, across the street from the 400 Bar, two doors down from the Red Sea.. see? You knew!)

If you go, order yourself a $1 custard bun and feel like bad ass. So flaky! So not overly sweet! So delicious! I ordered myself a $1.25 BBQ bun, which was the perfect lunch yum. Delish!

I also ordered myself a sticky rice dumpling, which my brain said "it's like a donut" until I got to the yummy weirdo pork center. Yes! Well done, friends!

Onward.

.. Cavalier.. and Acrobat.

2009-11-20T11:39:00.004-06:00

It's a two coffee sort of day. Usually by Thursday or Friday, coffee consumption is increased. Thursday, I was cool. Friday, there's no denying the need or desire for more.

- Finally saw the Star Trek movie, and was shocked at how good it is. I know - - you all said. But it's really good. (it's also the perfect movie for a, say, 13 year old boy. Nothing too gross, the sex is all silhouetted and stuff, and it's all about ADVENTURE! more ADVENTURE!!! and stewardess outfits that you go to war in.)

- 'Made tiny brains last night... well, baby cabbages that look like braaaains. (brussels sprouts are delightful! You steam 'em, make 'em all mad and bright green, and then you can pan fry them in whatever delightful fat you have lying about. They got treated to a bath of bacon.)

- 'Also made an apple crisp.. crumble.. crisp last night. It is easy. (You cut up things you want to stew in their own juices. You salt and sugar them a little. You mix flour and brown sugar and a little salt and some oatmeal with butter and/or oil. You cover the stewy things in the yummy brown sugar things and put it all in the oven. You forget about it until your house smells nice and the stewy things are.. stewy. And bubbly. Then you stare at it and try only a bite because you ate too many tiny brains.)

- I have eaten more bacon in my 30's than I've eaten in the entire other.. 30 years of my life. Bacon, you're so late-this-decade.

- So is bringing back hits of childhood.. What the world truly needed was the "Dungeons & Dragons" cartoon on DVD.

In digging through the youtube, I find I really only need to hear the opening intro song to be happy. Hey look! Pole Position!

Ogh.

Actually fairly catchy is the Kidd Video opening.

Maybe tomorrow we'll dig out Gummi Bears or (better yet) the Get-A-Long Gang (catchy!*) or Shirttails (a funkier bass line than I remember).. Egads, Galaxy High.

Onward.

P.S. I've always wondered about the lyrics to the Get Along Gang opening. Honestly. It's been one of my personal ear worms for decades. In seeing it in print, I feel it was possibly translated from the Japanese.)

Get along gang get along gang
Each one so special in his own way
Montgomery's the leader and he's such a good sport
the get along gang get along gang

There's Woolma and Dotty with the spirit
And Bingo the fresh doesn't rule it
The Logical Portia will figure it out
And that's the spirit of the leadership

get up, with the get along gang
Come on! Their adventures don't end
Get up! (With the Get Along GA A A A A A Ang, ua ua ua ua ua ua ua ua)
Get up! With the Get Along Gang

Thanks, childhood.

Onward.

Little dribblies..

2009-11-17T10:07:00.005-06:00

Just writing without inspiration.. No real point to drive home. Except for...

Finger foods at bowling alleys!

I am not good at bowling. I got to bowl with someone who was. This was pretty awesome (the possibilities held within bowling.. Things like scores! We abided, indeed.) We went to Elsie's, which is also pretty awesome.

We ordered mounds of fried food, and then stuck our fingers into bowling ball holes. As thousands have done before. It took about 30 seconds for this to dawn on my now-viral-paranoid self . It was akin to touching cash, which we all know is covered in crack and AIDS.

I ate my finger food with a fork. It was still delicious, although I'm shaking my head as I am probably becoming the first on my block to walk through Target covered in surgical gear and face masks. (It hasn't happened yet. Just wait for it.)

Things Pleasing:

- That Thanksgiving isn't until next week. I'm not mentally prepped for it.

- That I can read the Twilight books if I really want to. But I don't have to.

- The Cleveland Show. Really. It's delightful. Way more gentle (and, to me, funnier and smarter) than Family Guy or American Dad or whatevers. Really. Well written. Diggin' it.

- Being spoiled like crazy with unexpected treats. Thank you!!!!!!

- Peter Bagge. My sweetie loves Peter Bagge more than Peter Parker ever loved Gwen Stacey. And PBau wouldn't break Peter Bagge's neck or anything. Boingboing had a link to Reason Magazine. (I'm not a Libertarian. But it feels weird touching their stuff. The reaction of "Hmm.. I can see why you like this stuff, but I'm not sure if it's for me. Here's your stuff back.") which held this pretty lovely Peter Bagge breakdown of birth control and PlanB. It's old, but it's funny.

Must put words into my head! Get in there, words! Maybe I'll put some actions with those words. Yes! Crazy! Let's do it!

Then, I'm gonna go eat lunch with Jim. (eeeeee)

Onward.

Don't look at my spending history

2009-11-15T10:30:00.005-06:00

If I am an American, and if us American are defined by what we consume, I consume a lot of:

- Bar food

- Coffee

- Gas stations

- Car payments

- Target

- Music downloads

There isn't a little sheep that pops up when I open my Wells Fargo page, and assures me that I eat organic. (Cuz I don't. But the sheep would be adorable.) There's just numbers and words and Threadless orders.

Saturday day was full of work! (oh my god! I got paperwork done! Assessments and counts and.. whew.). It started with "bring a friend to class" at the big-giant-kid's Theatre, which was nonstop madness and hilarity. I'm still giggling. And then to the big-giant Museum for many many people and much much cuteness.

However, Saturday night was filled with tap shoes and bowling s (The tap shoes were found at Savers.. They fit beautifully! Must tell Jill - - I have a tap shoes we can share!).

To the Suburban World, and then to Improv A Go Go for Explorer's Club! Then to Spring Street Tavern for Open Mic and big-giant screen Beatles Rock Band. You can come too!

Have a lovely rest of your weekend!

Onward.

Why did I do that?!

2009-11-14T00:12:00.004-06:00

I did it because:

- If one has the indulgent luxury of having cold pork roast in the fridge, and it's after 10 p.m., and a folded-over cold pork roast half-sandwich with a little bit of margarine or mayo reminds you of eating the exact same thing with your mom late at night, well, then, of course you should have that half-sandwich.

- I made cherry tarts. I've had these cherries in the freezer for months. Used the last of the marscapone cheese (which was another fun and indulgent treat). Made cherry marscapone tarts. Had one. If the tarts are warm, you should really have one.

Now I'm topped off full. And it's 12 midnight. Really? Completely unnecessary, but very good.

- Back to the yoga mines. It's good. I'm actually sore from class yesterday. Ding.

- Saw Four Humor's "Love is Furry.. and Blind." What a delight. It's a farce! They made a farce! Whatta cast! Whatta bit! (seriously. There's a bit in there I could watch for literally hours.) Whatta set. (I'm not much of one for too sets. This one was right up my alley. Plus, it was goddamn classy. That's right, people.)

- Got to hang out with Sass and Natalie. Sass might be my brother from another mother. I'm gonna ask him if that's okay. And then treat him like any good big sister should, and try to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend.

Time to find and then stuff more monologues in my head. Get into my head, things. Yes, you, dear Mr. Albee. Let's see if we get along, shall we? Or I shall have to go hang with that Williams fellow and, truly, no one wants that. I know. This could just be silly. I understand. But we might as well try.

On Sunday, we get to go back to the Suburban World! Yeaa!! I'm prepping my psyche. Awesome.

Onward.

P.S. The last episode of Glee made me cry. Goddammit. Here's my cool kid's card. You can keep it. Momma needs her stories. (aghh! Seriously. I didn't see that particular twist coming. Brown beer, corn tortillas, and pow! I'm crying over a sitcom.)

P.S.S. Really - - I'm not hormonal. I'm just a sucker.

Onward.

Things that rock..

2009-11-11T10:08:00.004-06:00

A random assortment..

But before all that: what doesn't rock is trying to paint with a brush paint that is made to spray. I bought a can (not a spray can, however) of RustOleum gloss black. It happily covered wood, metal, and ceramic. So easy when sprayed to a saturation point. So lame when brushed on. I've taken to brushing it against the grain, in globs and globs. My yellow kitchen thinks I'm nuts, but I swear it will look sweet. SWEET! If I don't cover my yellow kitchen in gobs of gloss black. Agh.

Things about Minneapolis that are good. Purely purely good. I complain about this place on a regular basis (grumblesnarlgross), but.. there is another side, of course..

a) These lake-thingies. I didn't really get them until about 2 years ago. Lake thingies tend to also inspire things like parks and civic pride. You can also live a metaphor by walking around the same lake daily.

b) All the construction trucks around my neighborhood. Crews, working on houses. *fingers crossed*

c) Our Improv scene. Goddamn. We are some of the luckiest people in the world.

d) Our Theater/re scene. Our improv scene probably wouldn't have it's rabble-nest of a home without the regular, old theater that's been here for so long.

Which brings us to last night..

e) Chicago Avenue Project at the Pillsbury House Theater. There are few things I get behind with full belief and full heart, unironic and true. This is one of them. This project is pure good. It has it's hiccups and sometimes people made it hard or complicated, but - - the cool thing is: everyone believes in it. We have fun. It's all about the kids. And the fact that some of the most talented performers in the city can come and support kids by doing what they do best... Yeah. It rules.

The kids also get to see a bunch of grown ups working together, men and ladies, being silly and smart. And the grown ups get to hang out with a bunch of kids, who are silly to begin with and too smart by half. This is good.

Plus, CAP has a habit of collecting good, fun, unselfish people. And truly funny people. I laughed a lot. Thank you!

(Note: When a first grader tells you she's in 3rd grade, and then confirms that she indeed learn to "do everything" in school today, don't be surprised if she spend the next 3 minutes fake-burping in your face. Angel-looking 7 year old, in mismatched neon plaids and a flower hijab, fake burping over and over. Gross, rude and really really funny. Curses!)

I'm considering making marmalade it's own food group. Our lives would be even more delicious with just a bit more marmalade involved. Really, well done, marmalade workers of the world!

It's back to the Museum today, and then tomorrow begins the Spiked rehearsals. Look at this line up, people!

Corey Anderson
Jody Briskey
Molly Cox
Dennis Curley
Rachael Brogan Flanery
Madde Gibba
Andrea Guilford

Katy Hays
Jay Melchior
Tina North
Tod Petersen
Jim Robinson
Jen Scott
Joshua Will

With special guest appearances by:

Regina Zona — Opera Program Director, University of Minnesota-Duluth
James Rocco — Producing Artistic Director, Ordway Center
Ferrari McSpeedy — Twin Cities' top improv comedy duo
Drew Jansen & Jimmy Martin — composers, pianists, singers extraordinaire
Matt Peiken — 3-Minute Egg journalist and comedian
Melissa O'Neill & Tim Witry — popular husband-and-wife singing duo

PLUS:

Madison Olimb
Mark Bergren
Jim Detmar
Greta Grosch
Katy McEwen
Beth Gilleland
Michelle Cassioppi
Jeffrey Cloninger

James DeVoll
Erika Sjogren
Michael Frear
Ahna Brandvik
Josh Carson
Tom Bengston
Raquel Swanson
Angela Walberg

Good gracious! that's the first time I've seen that whole list - - I'm freaking out. Yea!! Some old familiars (we have generations of BNW alum appearing), and some peeps you may not have seen in a while. Swoonerific. It should be lovely. :)

Onward.

More cut scenes please...

2009-11-09T21:27:00.002-06:00

Someone posted this - - I've seen it a number of times (but it feels like I never get to finish it, as there's usually people wanting to play the actual game.)

I love this intro - - it's beautiful in so many ways. There's some hella good 20-something computer artist types who should be damned proud.

I am tuckered! ARRRGHHH!!

Chicago Avenue Project has opened! YEAA!! Two more shows, one at 4:30 p.m. tomorrow (Tuesday) and one at 7 p.m. tomorrow (Tuesday) at the Pillsbury House Theatre (35th & Chicago Ave S, Mpls) FREE!! We opened tonight - - it's a bit strange to see the madness from onstage - - it just looks wholly regular and natural. From the audience, I remember the little kid logic and foam-core other-reality as much more surreal and otherworldly. From stage, it's as natural as a flat or a costume. (which, by their very nature, aren't natural at all)

Please come if you can! One of the lovely parts of Chicago Avenue Project? The grown ups get to have Mexican food & drink after the shows. Awesome.

Sunday started with: The Suburban World theater has re-opened, and has taken the chef from the Uptown Bar and their breakfast menu. I'd never been in the Suburban World before.. Good god. What a strange mix of sweet and creepy kitsch.. But not done well enough to be either. It could be so good for so many things.. hopefully at night, as it is a dark cavern of plastic fir trees and urns and blue paint and moving clouds on the ceiling. (This is not what it looked like on Sunday morning, watching ancient and trippy 1930's Raggedy Anne cartoons.)

Honestly, if someone had given me an ancient theater, I probably would have decorated it exactly the same. (my house nods in agreement).

Otherwise.. (mew mew mew).. Next time, I promise a happy blog full of witty stuff.. But until, take care of you!

Onward!

Because Michelle says I should!

2009-11-07T13:21:00.005-06:00

Yes. This much is totes true. (Hi Michelle!)

The end of this week sniffed of oddness. Nothing fatal, just.. aghh..

1) Stepped on a dead mouse. Who had died in a 5x12 glue trap. Right before teaching a class (who were AWESOME, by the by). Stepping on the mouse (and glue.. and pulling my clog and foot up from the mouse and glue) elicited a flurry of:

a) Swearing. Mother f word and everything.

b) crunchsquish

c) OhmygodGROSSAmouseThatpoormouseI'msorryitdiedWhatahorriblewaytodieCan'tlivewith miceIjust stepped in somethingdead *immediately pictures walking over dead people to save yourself* AGHHHH!!!

d) What the hell?! This doesn't happen! I have to go teach class! Get my head in the game and teach class! *rubs foot on carpet as walking into class*

No one needs that.

The second thing that happened was on Thursday.

I punched a hole in my car. Not a large hole. Just the perfect key shaped incision. With a key, using the force of my trunk. See?

Not on purpose. Just a random puncture into my automobile's exterior, while putting my computer in the trunk. *sigh* What?

Nothing fatal. Just odd.

Friday was spent in a large dark room, watching grown ups dress up like elephants and space cheetahs.

This was not odd. This was awesome. (awwddsome? oawddsome?) Chicago Avenue Project performs this Monday at 7 p.m., Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.. At the Pillsbury House Theater - Free!! The actors are great. I have seen them all. They give excellent performances. You will laugh and feel good. Come giggle!

However, no matter how much you love a process, 7 hours on a stool makes your back hurt and makes you wanna go ride a bike far and away. Possibly around a lake and to a Dairy Queen. Double however, someone purely awesome brought me a sandwich around 2p.m.. Yea!!

What does the rest of the weekend hold? The final dress rehearsal for Chicago Avenue, then going the Spring Street for debauchery on Sunday night, per usual. For this week only, Stand up Open Mic and Beatles Rock Band are replaced with a benefit - - which will include real live rock bands and real live stand ups too. Yea! Come on by..

Monday is for memorizing.

Tuesday is for THEEEater.

And Wednesday is for wrehearsals for the Xmas show.

I can feel this year slipping away. It was only a matter of time. It just feels like summer is a pause to inevitability of winter, and once fall hits, everything zooms. It's possibly the nature of how we make a living (summer is generally a slow time for live entertainment). Or it's just possibly gettin' old.

Hopefully I'm not being dramatic. I have more elephants and space cheetahs to accompany.

(And yoga classes to take! For the first time, in crappy traffic, my subconscious barfed out the thought "I wish I was doing yoga right now". I have never thought that about.. almost anything. I'd rather be skiing or fishing or knitting - nope. *with the possible exception of peeing. Wouldn't we all rather be peeing? No? Gross.*) So.. yeah. I think I'm going back to the fancy place. If you go often enough, the cost of each class is affordable, even. Wish me luck.)

Onward.

We'll try this again...

2009-11-04T09:57:00.004-06:00

Let's just talk about the last couple of days, rather than trying to encompass a month, shall we? Hi friends!!

- I have a dishwasher now. It looks like it's made of Cylons and confidence. Outside, it is black and shiny. Inside, it is white and unblemished. My kitchen doesn't know what to do with itself.

- Chicago Avenue Project performs next Monday and Tuesday! Holy hannah! Why, here's the link! Though I'm in none of the marketing (hah! My ego bleeds.), I got to create an original song for each play, and will be performing with each play. Cool beans! These 5-10 minutes plays are awesome. The feeling of the performances is a cross between a pep rally and a potluck. It's so great. Professional actors, professional directors, professional dramaturgs working with at risk kids. Please come, enjoy - - it's all free and fun.

- Creature Feature and Survivors of the Undead Plague finished up a run at the Brave New Workshop.. YEAAA!! Our last one was scariest.. Josh was a chupacabra; Aric and I survived. Chupacabra's (and Joe doing jazz hands/wings) are awesome. Aric, I'm sorry my character tried to hide behind you when all the chupacabra's came - - that was a jerk move.

- I tried a free week at a certain yoga studio.

a) it's a Yoga "studio". Agh!

b) My instructors names have been either Irish goddesses or something that sounds like ky-lin. Cai-lyn. Kylhn is a boy. (And he ruled, by the by, Ky)

c) People are really serious about yoga at a yoga studio!! Especially the students!!

d) Not much eye contact is made in yoga. When Caeylinn had us introduce ourself to our neighbors (like we're real people, in a room that smells of other sweaty people), my mind was blown.

e) Their showers are fancy. And, they provide towels.

f) Have you seen the Joss Whedon show "Dollhouse"? Yeah. This is what it looks like. Except with even more yoga pants.

h) I think I like it.

- I've tried stand up comedy. I will try it some more. When I have more than 30 seconds of material, I will let you know, and you can watch me bombbombbomb. Deal. :)

- umumum. That's a good start, right?

Onward.

Not a blog, but more of a practice..

2009-09-26T14:11:00.010-05:00

The dog is (now) asleep (unlike his picture).

The cat is asleep (still).

I should sleep too.

Actual monthly blog coming soon. I swear.

Goodnight!

P.S. Creature Feature starts up this Friday! 10:30 p.m. Fridays in October at the Brave New Workshop!

P.S.S. Mustache Rangers are on Drinking with Ian this weekend! Holy crap!

P.S.S.S. Sunday Funday Double Team continues this Sunday (and every Sunday) in Club Underground at the Spring Street Tavern in Nordeast! 8:30 p.m. for stand up comedy, 10 p.m. for Beatles Rock Band. It's hella fun. :)

P.S.S.S.S. More to come! Yesh!

Onward..

That time of the month again..

2009-08-23T13:37:00.007-05:00

Time to blog!!

- Saw "Inglourious Basterds" at the midnight premier Thursday.

a) It was not an easy movie for me to watch.
b) But it was very very very very good.
c) Quentin Tarantino believes in his patchwork-vision of pop culture more than he believes in gravity.
d) He really wants the kids to start watching some German cinema.
e) The performances were fanntastic. Especially.. this guy right here. Possibly one of the best written and best acted villains, and an absolutely engaging and terrifying character.
f) I also really liked Steiglitz. And the silly Brits. And basically everyone. Seriously. It was really really really good.

What else happened?

- I bought a $13 tent about 2 years ago. Two weekends ago, we used it! It is one of the sadder looking little tents, but it did good! It is the little tent that could.

- Saw the current Brave New Workshop show Friday. :) It's so damn'd good.

- I'm about to eat a Snickers Ice Cream bar. This is good.

- One more weekend of Tony n' Tina's at the MOA comes up this weekend (albeit, it starts back up in October.. but it's still a mini-break :) ) Yea for fun and good.

- The last Ka-Baam!!, this Friday at 10:30 p.m. at ComedySportz! Holy hannah! Hopefully it will come back too.. Ka-Baam!! is awesome and good! (and such a joy. Come see our last heroic blow out.) :)

- THIS SUNDAY August 30th and every Sunday after! SUNDAY FUNDAY DOUBLE TEAM! 7:30 p.m. at the Spring Street Tavern (downstairs) in beautiful Nordeast Minneapolis. 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m., Improv Open mic (have your team show up at 7 p.m. and sign up for a time), 9:30 p.m. - 11:30 p.m., Stand Up Open mic (show up at 9 p.m. or before, sign up for a time).

(I'm keeping the flyer at a bigger size, cuz it's absolutely brilliant. Err.. the flyer says $3. It might be $5. Still a hell of a deal. Mike Brody closes the night. Awesome and good.)

- Went to the 501 last night. Saw a band of 3 drummers dressed up as skeletons. Everyone was drinking Lone Star tall boys. Iz Minneapolis.

Time to go run and work.

Onward!

I only post monthly now..

2009-08-08T10:49:00.002-05:00

.. well. THAT's lame.

Spending a morning with a couple of animals. Alas, a maltipoo's need for oatmeal leftovers will not be sated.

THINGS YOU CAN DO:
a) Go hang out with friends, their babies, and ham sandwichs. This was all sorts of awesome. Eat the sandwiches, kiss the babies.

b) Paint your front and back door Superman colors. The back door came out blue and great (barring future sanding and touch up). The front door needs some touch up (it looks like a very committed graffiti artist was exploring red). I may have a hole in my kitchen ceiling, but I've got pretty doors.

c) Not wear a mask while spray painting. Why, that was dumb.

d) Go see "An Intimate Evening with Mike Fotis: Part III". Why, that is not dumb at all! Mike is doing an awesome job, it's hilarious, and I'm honored to be thumping behind him. It's also been great to see good people come out for the fun - - Hi friends!! last show is tonight at 10 p.m.! :)

e) Come see "Ka-Baam!!" Only a couple of performances left!! (Fridays through August, 10:30 p.m., Comedysportz in Calhoun Square). This has been an utter delight. Goddang.

But if you don't see Ka-Baam!! next Friday..

f) Come see "OMG" at Mixed Blood, 11 p.m. Friday August 14th. Many many chick improvisers.. with their middle school diaries.. *sigh* It's gonna be awkward and awesome.

g) Get home and find a bat in your house. (FOTIS!!!) Upon first glance, it looked like someone had hung a dead rat from the curtains. Upon second glance, it was small, soft, and really really happy to be sleeping atop the front room drapes. The cat had already attempted to scale the drapes (Unsucessfully. Sebastian is unapologetic about his weight gain).

After pissing it off once (it was really really happy. The curtain are soft and warm. It seemed ready to move in. It was cute! Cute little muzzle. Freaky bat wings. So sleeeepy. I briefly pondered our shared life together.), a piece of cardboard and some soft fabric in a mixing bowl did it. YEAAA!!!

Bat's swear in clicks.

h) Go to your front porch to watch the thunderstorm, and have a raccoon amble by, a mere 3 feet in front of your legs. WHOA! The raccoon was huge, bigger than Sebastian and equally apologetic.

Raccoon's walk like their feet are too small for them.

i) Get yourself to the Corner Bar for Open Mic, Fridays. Minneapolis has some damn'd fine stand ups.

Speaking of, one of them gets back from Madison tomorrow. This is also all sorts of awesome. :) :)

I am going to do the things that need to get done. Or at least give it a bit of a try.

Onward.

Puppets of Meat!

2009-07-13T11:45:00.003-05:00

Just a quick blog, as I need to take on this day. Hello, Day.

Got to see the MeatPuppets last night! Yeaaa, you may say! Went with lovely people, and saw some lovely people (Hello, Mr. Brian K! Hello, Mr. Jay D., who I used to play in a band with, wayyyy back in the day. Yea for yea!)

My impressions:

- They, the Meat Puppets, are awesome.

- They are the heir apparent to the Allmann Brothers Band. ("Jessica"! Which sounds like this "Do do do do dooo, do do do do, do do do dooooo") That is some tight noodly guitar work, people.

- They have too many tall male fans with thick necks.

- Unrelated to the Meat Pupppets... The sound guy mixed the Meat Puppets like a 16 year old would tune his car stereo - - all treble and bass, no middle. This was poopy and tiring. Boooooo, sound guy.

- Back to the Meat Pupppets, their bass player (Cris Kirkwood) looks like a hippy version of the bass player from Metalocalypse (Murderface). Compare.

All in all, a really really really lovely night, on top of an astonishing and lovely day. :)

My sister has unexpectedly decided to visit tomorrow. I.. need to get movin'.

Onward.

A month between blogs.. really?

2009-07-07T15:11:00.002-05:00

Yesh. I have spent the last month thinking inward, not outward. Plus, it's been busy!

- At one of the places I work, I have a new boss. As I'm a contractor there, I just met her. We reveled in Minneapolis Transplantism for a bit (I've been here 10 years.. I have no excuse). For herself, she would love to move back to NYC, but acknowledges that she would have to get a roommate, and "I [she] kinda hate people." Granted, if I screw up, she's gonna pull no punches and it's been made clear she has free-range to not hire me any more, but.. I think that's good. I like her. :)

- NERD ALERT. It's been out that for over a month Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman have been been dating, and I missed it. I have lost literal gallons of nerd street cred.

(I had just been scanning their blogs - not actually reading their blogs, as lately my attention span has gone bye-bye - and wondering if they were possibly, and yes. They both announced it over a month ago. I suck.) They may actually be the entirety of my celebrity-nerd obsessions, and now they're smooching!! I win!! Maybe Mr. Neil will take Ms. Palmer to Minneapolis to see some long form improv, and blow all of our minds. (Josh Hartnett has come. Why not these lovely people?)

- There was an Improv Festival! We went to a cabin! I saw my mom!

- Despite the soon to be busy-ness of the next month, it's good. And after that, whoa nelly, there's some stretching and breathing room. I think.

This was a vaguely lamers blog for my first one back. Ah well.

Onward.

Sketching for dollars.. sometimes.

2009-06-13T13:47:00.004-05:00

The same people who make Chic o Stiks also make Peanut Butter Bars, which are perfectly shaped and sized, and absolutely one of the best things in the world. Thank you, Atkinson's: you rule. (They also make Coconut Long Boys - - delicious and weird! Well, done, you!)

Squirrel Nut Zippers - - also delicious. I am becoming an old fashioned candy snob.

Almost to the last week of sketch class - - it's felt good to have some pressure to write. I was reminded today that, as with most things, if one is prepared, one can do well. And if I'm half-prepared, I can create worlds of suck. Lame upon lame: I get a D for "at least you tried". Not what I hope to add to the world.

I've been trying to write more stuff for me, and if I'm not imposed with a direction, I will write about babies and kitties. I am capable of more, but, it seems my uterus talks more than my brain. This all being said, sketch class has been a blast - - I love this stuff. The sketches would be lovely to perform, but that's a different day.

I'm turning into a crank, if I wasn't already. Beginning to dread small talk in the work place - - we already talk to strangers all day long, why talk more? Because small talk is social lube, and makes the world go round. Accept it, Jen, and get over having to talk to people - - when you're not paid to talk with people.

'Went in for Tony n' Tina's last night. Yea! It's two and a half hours long! Basically! *blink* That's a long time to be doing what we're doin'. The cast is great. It's weird to have the element of interactive theater revisit my life.

It's one of those shows that 75% of your audience will leave screamingly happy from, as they have witnessed your character's horrible dysfunction, and it's not them. There's an art to performing it, but little Art in it. Whereas other venues (stand up, plays, etc.), there's more Art to be mined. Isn't there? Where does sketch fall? It's a spectrum! It's all different! What is art? What is Art? It's just a job! Is it more than a job? If you choose! Oh god!

Got to see my sister last night. We ate happy hour and I gave her cat-head salt and pepper shakers.

I have blathered a great deal.

The reward for a workin' weekend? S'mores and relaxing. 3 more shows left (one being two and half hours long), and then onto s'mores and relaxing. I can't wait.

Onward.

Faith in Humanity restored - - Mpls Farmer's Market

2009-06-07T13:09:00.004-05:00

One of those times when Mpls shakes off it's sometime-assholishness and shines as pretty as it should. Rows of awesome fruits and vegetables, families and couples and old people of all shapes and sizes and creeds: Hmong girls at the smalltownMN bratwurst stand. Tamales and farm fresh eggs. $2 Roasted sweet corn, and $1 tomato plants. A group of eastern Indian IT guys, shopping together; the man from Apple Valley who knows ALOT about hostas. People are friendly, transactions are all cash based and forever. There's samples (homemade pickles!) and you can ask questions.

The cold weather kept away the stubborn crowd masses that this state is so brilliant at (upper midwesterners love personal space, but yet, Minnesotans will press themselves into impossibly small spaces - - Grand Ole' Days, the State Fair - - just to go. This still astonishes me).

I am happy. I have tomato plants and hostas to plant, plus a $2 bag of cherries. (which may be one of my favorite foods in the world. Coffee, red cherries, fresh eggs, some chocolate. Rockin'.) It was Minneapolis, all idealized - - but with the backdrop of grey cold weather. It's like Philly and Portland had a baby, for one brief shiny time. Nice work, you Minneapolis, you.

It was a nice chaser to walking through The Nickolodean Universe at the Mall of America last night. It made me feel like an alien. An overstimulated, astonished alien. I DON'T GET IT, but if I ever have kids, they probably will. This is also the Twin Cities, and probably where more of the future lies than in the Jen-idealized version of Minneapolis. Inner grumblings of my parents, who never took us to theme parks of any kind (Wall Drug doesn't count), but made sure we stopped by every army fort and museum from here to Yellowstone. I am my parents' kid. Sorry possible future children of Jen - - we shall not have fun. ;)

Today is the Brave New Youth's last performance for the 2008-2009 season. Realized that I've been coaching the youth, fairly consistently (there was that one spring I missed, three years ago, when I started at the Museum) for 8 years. That's... um.. good. And silly. I'm hopefully a lot better at it than when I started. And speaking of such things, I'm also now old enough to basically be one of their parents.

They're better than us all. Nothing to do with me - - everything to do with them. 4 p.m., Brave New Workshop in Minneapolis, Free!

(It's followed by a potluck, and I'm bringing egg salad and red cherries - - basically, I'm taking the kids what I would want someone to bring to me. Possibly unfortunately, I tend to have the food leanings of an 85 year old man. Some braunschweiger and a shot of Ouza would round out the entire taste experience.)

Onward.

I've been targeted...

2009-06-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

Went to see "Little Ashes" with dear friend Jim tonight. My goodness, what an inconsistent movie, featuring that vampire boy and the excellent Javier Beltran. Ehhh? EHHHHH??? The settings were beautiful, the costumes were beautiful -- I couldn't tell if that Vampire Boy was a good actor or not - - and neither could Jim. It was NOT a GOOD movie (so inconsistent! So cheesy and then not! So.. What!?!?), but it was still strangely engaging. Probably the work of that damned sympathetic Mr. Beltran. Curses!

While at the beautiful Lagoon, the powers-that-be decided to show the trailer for "Away We Go", which looks like "Juno" for grown-ups, and of course, made me cry. Dammit! I've been targeted - - I am this movie's target audience.

a) I'm in my early 30's, in those waning years of GenX.

b) Listen to the soft, Nick Drake-like soundtrack! Not overproduced, yet clean and aching. Dammit!

c) I find Dave Eggers writes in a voice that my subconscious wants to drive around in the loop with. And then find "the loop" itself ironic, yet fascinating.

d) I love Flight of the Conchords. I read Bust Magazine (sometimes. Magazines are expensive.) A goodly chunk of my wardrobe maybe about as old as I am.

e) Snap pearl buttons? YES. Army jacket? Done it! Semi-ironic sunglasses? Oh, why not?!

f) Look at that cast! Just.. you know.. look at them! Don't we love them?!

g) It IS Juno for adults, isn't it. *sigh*

h) I can't wait to see it.

I think my washer might be broken. :( This sucks.

Onward.

Trouble/Not Trouble

2009-06-04T12:06:00.001-05:00

Things that may be trouble:

- An MGM liquors opened up next to Whole Foods. There are two types of parking lots that suck - - liquor store parking lots and (someone self-absorbed unknowing reason) Coop/natural foods parking lots. The Wedge parking lot is a death trap! The Whole Foods parking lots is inconsistent and challenging! The Trader Joe's parking lot will eat you! And now a liquor store next door?! Trouble.

- Going to a doctor. I went to a doctor about a week ago for a check up. Now I'm full of chemicals (nothing life threatening, just annoying). And those chemicals won't be out of my system for about 10 days, and already mess with the chemicals I ingest daily. This will make me happy! Healthy! But right now - - Trouble.

NOT Trouble:
- Went down to Des Moines last Sunday for dinner with my old college roommate Kelly, in from NYC for a wedding. A lovely drive through cornfields and windmills, to the center of the Des Moines. Stopped by the most ghetto QT in Des Moines, to find it sparkly clean and filled with cops. Ate at the Old Spaghetti Works, which also has locations in Omaha and Ralston (teehee!). Drank a gin martini at the Hotel Fort Des Moines, which is to be said with a thick unyielding French accent. Kruschev stayed there once. Not trouble.

- Drove back through a beautiful electrical storm while Bach played on the radio. Baroque pentacostal music is made awesome by stoner lightning effects, courtesy of God and nature and humidity. Not trouble.

**********

Still looking for balance. Not feeling very balanced. Feeling tired and grumbly for no reason, which is dumb. Need to figure that out.

Onward.

Random! All random!

2009-05-28T16:27:00.000-05:00

Reposted from Amanda Fucking Palmer's blog, who is, not only a musician, but a very smart lady.

The Boston Conservatory

Dr. Karl Paulnack’s Welcome Address to parents of incoming students, September 2004

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician… I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated… I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school. She said, “You’re wasting your SAT scores!” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they loved music: they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite… Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

One of the first cultures to articulate how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you: the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner-of-war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture — why would anyone bother with music? And yet even from the concentration camps we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

In September of 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. On the morning of September 12, 2001 I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, on the very evening of September 11th, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang “We Shall Overcome.” Lots of people sang “America the Beautiful.” The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pastime. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece “Adagio for Strings.” If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie “Platoon,” a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

Very few of you have ever been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but with few exceptions there is some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings-people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks. Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in a small Mid-western town a few years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier. Even in his 70’s it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute cords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. The concert in the nursing home was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this: “If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at 2 AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

“You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

“Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music, I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”

There's nothing I can add to this, but just beam happy in my Liberal Arts & Science goo. I believe this stuff. I love this stuff. I'm not saying that I'm privy or capable of his marching orders by any means (I'm a pretty craptastic musician - - both capable and generally unpracticed. And to those who are the capable and the Earth saving, I say thank you!), but the whole article just resonates with goodness for me. Neat.

I'm making little felt bear paw prints for an upcoming Museum show. I am one with the hot glue gun and some felt.

Besides that..

DID YOU KNOW, that a vagina is actually a very acidic environment, while men's pHs are more basic? Neither did I!! I learned stuff today!! From a doctor who told me these things!! I sort of like the idea of vaginas' being all self-protecting and acidic and.. um.. weird. It makes sense, but I'll still wonder at the "oooooh, science!" of it all.. and wonder what in our evolution spawned such developments.

I also learned chemistry is not only the ooga-booga-kissy-kissy chemistry, but that your body's very chemistry can lay havoc on another person's. Interesting, no? Treacherous, yes?

There is no theme to this blog. It is only set on shuffle.

Onward.

From yesterday, before today...

2009-05-27T12:04:00.000-05:00

Just did a show for seven 18 year old girls from North Bend, NE. They ruled. My irony for the day: the Plain states make for pretty people.

Just watched the trailer for the upcoming Sherlock Holmes, featuring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law standing very close in jaunty caps. Having just watched my first episodes of "House", will Robert Downey Jr. be channeling his inner Hugh Laurie? Is Jude Law's beard spirit-gummed on? I feel so. Yes.

Week off from the museum has been completed. It was as almost as busy as a week with the museum, but busy with relaxing things. Like Southern California! Helloooo, San Diego!

- We stayed at PBau's sister's place, which is in Ocean Beach, a neighborhood in San Diego. It's like Uptown, if Uptown was stubbornly non-corporate, and if most of our panhandlers were in their 20s. It's filled with dogs and long boarders, sand and tortilla-based foods. Coffee and beer, hamburgers and fish tacos. Everyone's tan.

- A lot of people don't neuter their puppies in the O.B.. This makes for unwanted puppies and that's sad. Listen to Bob Barker! Holy crap!

- Ocean Beach is referred to as the O.B., as opposed to the P.B. (Pacific Beach!) North Hollywood has become NoHo ("An Artist's Quarter") More awkward anagrams! Delightful!

- I drive in L.A. rush hour, which was actually less frustrating than Twin Cities happy hour. I can justify L.A.'s happy hour. Twin Cities, less so.

- Get to see Liz and Burk and Miles and Lydia for a total sum of 5 minutes. AGHH! But it was wonderful. Miles greets PBau with ninja posturing, eventually asking him, "Could you spread your legs?", which is the slyest of ninja methods for delivering a crotch shot. PBau wisely refuses.

- L.A. is filled with donut shops. I bristle with jealousy.

- PBau does an open mic (awesome!) hosted by the excellent Mr. Jeff Hopkins. We then go track down a Fatburger, directions courtesy of the waitress from Chicago, working at the Kansas City BBQ joint.

- We headed to the beach and jumped through waves on our last day, and realized we should have been in the water every day we were there. Granted, some of the days weren't warm enough to allow for that, but.. ah well.

- I actually get to hear someone say, "Do you want to talk or do you want to surf?" Yes!

- While in California, filled with happy cool ocean humidity, my hair embraces its inner scamp and I become curly haired. Like Downey Jr. & Law, all I need is a pair of suspenders and a jaunty cap.

- I realized that Chik o Stik are some of the most delicious candies ever. Peanut butter and coconut? Why haven't I been eating Chik o Stiks regularly?! I am a fool!

Got back to Mpls and the rest of the week was spent waking up very slowly and working on the yard. I now have another flower bed! Win!

Back to reality, and busy-ness starts up fairly quickly..

And now comes that time in the year where I question all that I do to make a living. Wonder if it should change, and if I should have some actual direction. Feeling very lucky and blessed to do what I do, and I love what I do.. but realizing I've done these things for a fairly long time. I will compensate for this feeling of unknowing and emptiness by eating some candy mix. (please see above Chik o Stik reference)... (I also have some cherry balls.. this is awesome.)

Onward.

Nice works, you Grecians you...

2009-05-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

Yes. Full of delicious Greek food! Still!!

- Grumble. There is a show at the museum that has gone from "ehhh" to soulsucking. Granted, 10 minutes is NOT a long time to have your soul sucked, but one certainly doesn't want to have to look forward to it twice a day. Alas. Stop complainin', do yer job, it's a good job -- even when it sucks (like any job, I 'spose).

- (Soul healed by group of awesome 8th graders. *sigh* Thank you, 8th graders of Black Hawk or wherever you are from. You are all aces. Thank you.)

- Got dropped off in Uptown, and walked my butt four miles to Southwest High School for Yoga. A beautiful day, a lovely walk. The only awkward part of walking through Uptown is other Uptowners.

- I am a happy yogi'd sweaty mess. Jim picks me up!!! I win!!!

- We go to Christos. oooohhhhh, Christos. I worked there for 3 weeks once. They are wonderful. They are also insanely detailed oriented. I had forgotten.

- I eat every indulgent thing: grape leaves (dolmathes), hummus, mousaka and baklava - - Jim gets an Arnie Palmer and the chicken livers. So much winning!

- Was told that "It's okay that you forget everything. You're like me." Oh god.. I do forget everything! I am a good booklearner, an okay kinesthetic learner, and a pretty astute visual learner - - you ask me to remember most things aurally, my brain breaks. *sigh* This is not cool. I'm too young to blame it on senility.

- Chitter with friends afterwards. They decide to have a bbq - - today. Not two weeks out. Just, you know, today. You can do this? Not have to plan ahead two weeks and request time off? This is a crazy notion, but I think I like it.

More stuff! Onto a haircut and the weekend... and then, crazy!

Onward.

Whattayamean?

2009-05-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

Busy tizzy week. No slow, but some sleep.

- I got to work on my yard. To me, this means I actually had some time. I need to dust and clean and finish the inside of my house, but to me, summer means it's time to fix the outside of my house. My yard is kickin'. I want to make it more kickin'. All worries about home ownership and living in debt seem to fly out the door when my yard looks good. This can't be healthy.

- I'm gonna apply for a loan to get the outside of my house and garage worked on, basically paint & gutters. And you can too!

- The dog got a haircut. The dog and I tend to get haircuts on the same schedule. They also seem to cost about the same.

- Lycopodium training at the museum!!! Not only is it fun to say (li-coh-po-dee-um), it is a moss spore, it is yellow, and when it's surface area is spread out, it's combustible! Makin' fireballs at the museum! The Fire Marshall had to come by and okay it all, but then got kind of excited actually seeing the poofball of fire. Neat.

- Teachin' and museum and teachin' and museum and.. I am very boring.

- It's beautiful out. Thanks, May. Nice work.

Family visiting starts soon. I am basically packed. Tomorrow involves some more work (just like Saturday does), but Friday gets the added bonus of haircut! Maybe I will make them fix my eyebrows! The world trembles!

Onward.

Weekend done! Please let me mulch...

2009-05-11T16:04:00.000-05:00

All in all.. it's done.

Saturday involved performing at "Women Stand Up!", a women-oriented (which just feels strange to type) performance venue. And indeed, Heidi and I performed her sketches. They were well-received. Yea, us!!

I got to do a face plant into a piece of cake. This made me super, unnecessarily, proud. Most of the time, when I've performed sketch comedy, it's been with boys. Boys tend to do the grotesque stuff themselves. However, it turns out, the grotesque stuff is kinda f-in' fun. Yes, it looks like I had poopy face. Yes, cake got in my nose. But it was a well-executed cake plant. I am stupidly proud.

Sunday was DREEEEEEAMY! NO PLANS. NO HAVE TOs. Just hangin'. This tends to only happen if I remove myself from the state. But, no!! Thank you, Mother's Day, for a completely empty day. I think I want more.

The "Cars with <3" commercial I taped with the lovely Mikael Rudolph will start to be broadcast soon. It's really really over the top cheesy... on purpose. I can't look at it, as my brain explodes, but it's really silly, hopefully in a good way. Mikael is awesome in it, by the by. Let us be a part of your society still, please.\

Onward to teach and the rest of the week.

Onward.

I wanna hide..

2009-05-08T11:25:00.000-05:00

ahhh... Thursday was completed, and it was good!!! It was about a 15 hour day (honestly, 8:40 a.m. - 12 mid), most of which was spent talking to/or at people. Now, I don't really want to talk anymore. The idea of small talk gives me the barfies. However, this is a very greedy impulse, as Thursday was actually great. I'm just very tired.

MORNING - You 26 eighth graders - - well done! You made 9 a.m. improv fun! And you didn't hit each other or make out or anything. Thank you!

- You also called me a "cougar" for the first time in my life. It was a joke, but I actually tried to defend myself. Touche', clever eighth graders.. :)

AFTERNOON - You one sixth grader at one of my museum shows - - you kinda blew. No offense. Someday, you'll learn to listen. Luckily, I don't have to be there for it. Good luck at Prom.

EVENING - You 137 sixth graders from Thief River Falls in a strange hotel in Wayzata. YOU EACH RULE. I was passed orange Pez. I got told jokes ("Why do gorillas have such big fingers? Because they have such big nostrils!!" Bwaha! Yes, and unexpected from a sixth grade girl. I hope we would have hung out if I was also 12.) You were all super nice and willing to put up with some adults and some Party Quirks. Awesome!! Thank you!!

BEDTIME - You awesome people who came to Ka-Baam!! last night - - THANK YOU! :) (and, you all were not middle school aged! This was amazing, as opposed to all the rest of yesterday.) It may have been the sweetest ending we've ever performed. I was just thrilled to be Mr. Ritchie's cat - - who doesn't want to be a cat for about a half hour? (You just look haughty and clean yourself every once in a while. Bat at sparkly shit. Not talk. Fight sentient gorillas. It's actually very relaxing.)

POST BEDTIME - Oh god. I'm actually sore. I threw my back out playing.. something. Take that back? I may be getting to old for this. Sleep the sleep of the weary. Be thankful for getting spoiled.

GOOD MORNING - Do it again! (But only for five hours. And no teaching. Yea.)

What shall the weekend hold? Hopefully some relaxing. Hopefully some not doing much. (Working tomorrow afternoon, Women Stand Up at 10 p.m. on Saturday, and then the hopefully open field of Mother's Day... Cross fingers, y'all...)

Onward.

P.S. Baby Lennes has been born!!!!! She is a girl and mom and baby are healthy and YEAAAA!!! :) BABIES, PEOPLE!!! :)

Sometimes you get a granola bar, sometimes you get cake...

2009-05-07T13:02:00.000-05:00

Yea, cake! Actually, a theme of cake has been set.. let's explore..

- I just received some cake. (Yea for the museum! It, the cake, is delicious)

- I will be eating some cake at Women Stand Up at the Bryant Lake Bowl this Saturday 10 p.m.. My friend Heidi Fellner wrote some lovely sketches - - I get to eat cake in one of them.

- Uh. Cake!!!!

- I keep looking to my calendar, expecting to see more.. or less.. something entertaining.. Something to make sense of it all. But alas, no. I've just been relatively busy.

- Adorable performed at "A Splendid Evening with Splendid Things" last Monday. Ahhh, it felt so good to get the weird back on. Yum. Our shared set with Splendid ended with a beautiful narrative by Mr. Ritchie, featuring Eric and Hannah as an upper crust, McSweeney's-reading, barren couple, surrounded by a hunter (Josh), a bird (Butch), and a frog (me). Of course, we were the hunter and the evil animals. Yes. Thank you to all who came!! YEAA!!

- Ka-Baam!! ka-baams tonight! Yea!! 10 p.m. Bryant Lake Bowl. I hope I make it. (There is the risk of not making it to the show tonight, as there are 137 6th graders to entertain. Hrm.)

- MORE BABIES!!! INDEED, Minneapolis!!! More dear friends are having or are shortly to have babies!! I got to hang out with a baby this last weekend, with was awesome. Happy Mother's Day, peeps...

-Boss-induced-time-off from the museum is coming. Going to visit my cousin, who has had the first baby of my first cousin's (you know, all four of them) generation. Go, gene pool, go!!

It's time for some food, some coffee, and then staring into the dead eyes of 137 6th graders.

Onward.

Where did I go?

2009-04-27T13:43:00.000-05:00

Umm.. not really anywhere.

Things that have happened:
- I've stopped blogging.

- I've stopped listening to NPR.

The blogging stuff will probably begin again (i.e. now), but I don't know if I will take on the NPR quite yet.. I've tried. It tastes like... dried newspaper. Sad thoughts. Knowledge. I'm gonna wait for just a bit.

Other things that have happened:

- Community Ed! I've started a Community Ed "Body Sculpt" class, which is both weird and delightful. I am the youngest in the class by at least 20+ years. We lift handweights and listen to afro pop and motown. Last time, my instructor opened up class by turning on some King Crimson. She saw Zappa live in L.A., the Mothers of Invention were ushering. Bwahahaha!!!

- I have today off (it's my regular day off). However, it has been eaten by a tire & oil change. *sigh* My Mondays shall never be just a day off. Perhaps this is okay.

This is all I shall write for now, as this computer is about to fall asleep. Baby steps..

Onward.

I'm a private person...

2009-04-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

... then why do I blog?

It's a good question.

- I like to write.

- My memory sucks. I like to keep track.

- I like to write for an audience, real or perceived. (I know there's a couple of you)

Here's the thing: it's starting to throw me off when someone in real life comments on what I've written. As what I've written usually drips out of my mind and then I forget. Alas, here are my options:

- Make my blog-a-roo just for me

- Man up and deal that if people are nice enough to read, and then what they read elicits them to respond -- take that as a compliment and deal.

- Move this over to Livejournal and make it subscription only. Alas...

My boss took me aside today and questioned how I was doing, in a worldly sort of way. Which has totally throw me off my game: being told you seem stressed or frazzled almost automatically makes one wonder if you are actually stressed or frazzled.

And so you might become this thing you didn't even know you were.

F*&k that, I say. I went back to re-talk to her about this (arrghh), and here's what I truly got from the conversation:

- Do your job

- Don't be late

- Take a vacation

All good advice! It seems (to me) that I take a fair amount of time off, but bosslady says that I haven't stopped running since I started working here (yes, that's how I am.. although I'm growing out of it) and that if I do take time off, it's purpose driven and not a "vacation". (um.. yeah, she's pretty awesome.. but it was a strange thing to hear.. still not sure if it's true..) Anywhoo, it was meant with love, and also meant to protect me from myself. As I have been not-as-good as I should be in some aspects of my job (see above two).

She's worried about burn out. I wasn't planning on burning out, but now I'm wondering if I am, in fact, doing exactly that. Suck. See above twist. Time to re-examine, re-assess and become something good.

(Maybe I'm not that private of a person.. but I'm certainly weirdly private about a number of things.. as we all are.)

Went to my first Major League Baseball Game yesterday - the Twins Dome Opener, or D'opener. It was lovely fun, I've never been in the Metrodome before, I had a Domedog and upon reflection and morning dry mouth, too much beer.

Despite the overbeerness, Monday was just all sorts of wonderful and good (breakfast! puppy dog tail! comics! sunshine! More!). Yea. :) These are the things that are important... but I still gotta watch out for this burn out thing, and keep it at arm's length.

Or change things completely. Whoop!

Onward.

I will be referring...

2009-04-04T16:23:00.000-05:00

..to my grey hair as my "sparkles". It may or may not work. I could just color the stuff, but it's self-obsessive to watch the stuff pop up, so I turn from the coloring and obsess away...

Friends are unexpectedly at the Museum! W00t! Again, the joys of having people come to your work place. Yea!!!

Ka-Baam!! performed for Sample Night at the History Theater, and then for our BLB slot on Thursday. Well done, citizens of Ka-Baam!! We ate (what should have been) Happy Hour together before Sample Night, and found the company most awesome. Indeed, Improv people, we should have more parties together.

Thurs involved (before Ka-Baam!!) an official type meeting, a forum at the Seward Coop, and delicious TrueThai. Holy jumping jacks, is True Thai good. We went and soon realized that we were surrounded by people aged 25-35. They seemed to have segregated us all to the back.

Friday, two separate people told me I looked frazzled -- dammit. Perhaps it's lack of days off or the fact that this week has been set to Continuous Activity.. I do not know. I did not feel frazzled, and was saddened by the diagnosis. Poo.

Tonight might involve the very sexy "Starting of the Taxes", or, more better, going to see dear friends be funny.

Easter is next weekend (!!!), and I cannot wait. Easter means excuses to do little, visit dear family, drive to Wi, purchase Cadbury Cream Eggs, and see pictures of baby animals. Yeaaa!! Hoping it's lovely.

Oh hey!! The amazingTroy has entered his first in-Ireland blog. You will enjoy! Rabidlime.net

Onward.

Two blog day to nuthin'..

2009-04-01T11:41:00.001-05:00

Ahh.. it's that time in Minnesota where Minnesota confirms that there is no such thing as summer or spring. It's as simple as San Francisco not having seasons or Arizona always being warm. Spring and sunshine were simply some sort of dream that we were stupid for having.

As soon as we have given up hope completely, perhaps something will change, baby birds will be born, and my lawn will need tending. But until then...

It's been a busy weekend... It doesn't take very long for life to be completely different in many aspects..

Friday: The Minneapolis Comedy Death Squad opened for Doug Stanhope at the Varsity!! Holy crap!! I was lucky enough to come along. ..this seems like weeks ago, now..

- DAMN!!! Audiences can be dicks!! Usually, it's not entire audiences, it's just one or two crazy people. These crazy people got handled so beautifully by the boys, it was shocking. A joy to behold. The boys did awesome.

- Doug Stanhope was great, period. He acknowledges that his act and what he says can attract idiots. There's a little bit of Kurt Cobain in Doug Stanhope.

- The afterparty was ridiculous. New, incredibly generous friends spoiled everyone. I may still be recovering...

Saturday: Work!!! and then Wedding!!! Friends of PBau were getting married: a chunk of those attending have either work or have worked at the Green Mill. *grin* Given where I have spent either an embarrassing or impressive amount of time over the last ten years, there were many familiar faces, happily out of context.

It was also a reminder of how nice it is to look nice for each other: it is fun to dress up. :)

We got a sweet table against a wall and people watched. People watching at a wedding is possibly better than people watching at an airport, as there's rituals involved!! Father-daughter dances, slightly creepy dollar dances, the scandalous getting of the garter.. my god. All blanketed by happy silliness, glass clinking, storytelling, toasts, and cake.

Sunday: Rehearsals! Go Teens!! Ka-Baam!! Then onto First Avenue Staff Party. Yea!! And holy crap, check out Chooglin. Here's the deal.

- Their drummer rules.

- It's rock and it's kinda blues and it's a little Pink Floyd doing rock and blues, but it's also boys from Minneapolis being showmen rock stars. There's a little Hold Steady. There's a little Springsteen. You watch them and want to be in their band.

- They all sing!!! Loudly and unabashedly.

- THEY HAVE A BRASS BAND. And the arrangements are great.

So yes.. Chooglin ='s yum.

Finally saw D4. Dillinger Four do good.

What Happened Next: Monday and Tuesday were either spent in a warehouse (next to food or cameras) or teaching. Very very lucky. They were both 12+ hour days (Tuesday required a 6 a.m. wake up call), but.. it's what I'd like to be doing. And very blessed to have good people to do these things with. It's just a blur of either telling people to do stuff or warehouse studio time.

By the end of Monday night, I was a bit of a cranky pants.

By the end of Tuesday night, I had given in to being Punchy Jen. Hellooo, Punchy Jen. Brains, be gone... and they were.

Finished Tuesday night by watching "Amelie", complimented by All American Pizza (pictured. yes. it was a lot of pickles. yum.), cheap red wine, and fried cauliflower. All of which were possibly the best things in the world. Someone's spoiling me. :)

Hey! It's Wednesday! Read City Pages! Check yer horoscope! And come see Ka-Baam!! tomorrow at the Bryant Lake Bowl, 10 p.m.. (there's a preview tonight at the History Theater's Sample Night... shhh)

Onward.

oh, for yes.

2009-03-26T22:11:00.000-05:00

Don't you want to be with them? Don't they seem lovely? I think they probably are. Isn't that good? :)

(I also love how the drummer seems to have recently have gotten some sun. Rock n' roll indeed.) :)

Tonight was dinner with friend Jen: we ended up at the Town Talk Diner, which exceeded expectations. Zzzzzoooom!!!! Goodbye, expectations! Holy crap. Per twitter, I don't know if I want to eat there, or work there. So much damn fun. We sat at the bar: I fully recommend this, and also fully recommend chatting with your bartenders, as they are people in the know. And just amazing and good. :)

- The Town Talk is (sorta) known for it's alcoholic shakes and malts. The bartenders kept offering us the leftovers of their mixes, which reminded me of my dear friend Dave back in college, who would kindly offer the ends of his bong hits.

- We shared the Truffle Mac n' Cheese and the Roasted Root Vegetable salad. Yea for sharing! And also, yea for carrots, whom I generally I am wishy washy about, but rocked this salad hard.

- The chef has a curly-Q mustache.

- There's a television above the door, which was on the Food Network the entire time. Delicious! It was Iron Chef: Bacon.

- I got one of the last three classes of the Shiraz, and then one of our bartenders helped me out with some more. Again, we were spoiled silly.

- BANANA SPLIT DESSERT! I adore banana splits: this was.. geez. The bananas were wrapped in sugared wonton wrappings and deep fried. The ice cream was homemade. The bartenders suggested a black pepper stout as a pairing (and offered us samples of another beautiful stout along the way). Hells to the yeah.

- Jen and I chatted about what we chat about, and then a bartender would come check on us, offer some delightful conversation and deliciousness, and onward went the night. Flippin' dreamy.

- We tipped our bartenders a ridiculous amount. They deserved it and more.

- Upon leaving, I got to yell "Thanks, Chef!" to said gentleman. That, is always fun. :)

So - - yes. If you have a special-ish occasion, or even just want to have some damn fine food and some damn fine alcohol, please get thyself to the Town Talk. (Note: they play their music at bar level. However, their music is good. It is not a solemn place. It is a social place. And it is fun to be that, if only for a night.) I have a tummy full of ice cream.

After dropping Jen off, I drove a little bit and found the sweetest spot of Mississippi shoreline in Nordeast. I was stupid and didn't bring my cell phone with me (so I did not stay long), but.. the river was up. You could listen to it. I had the company of the Minneapolis skyline and nothing else. It was very very nice. Hoping to go visit again without my winter coat.

It's a two blog day.

Onward.

Whewwwww's...

2009-03-26T15:13:00.000-05:00

I've snapped at two nice people today. ARRGHH! I feel tired and defensive, and turning into an old lady. However, it's been a really nice day. This tired and defensive might be due to honest to goodness tiredness.. whewwww!

Despite this vinegar, I am truly swimmy happy. And it was a very lucky day too. Filled with gratitude about the whole thing (including the two granola bars that plopped out of vending machine. That is like winning the lottery, without even knowing you had entered.) I am gratitudinal. Thank you!

- FREOPARDY! My goodness, that was lovely. :) The awesomeness of coming together to watch 'one of your own' take on something we've watched for years. Grown up with even. It was the rowdiest Jeopardy viewing ever, and a couple of 'audience' waves were completed.

- So many favorite people, all in one place, eating cake*!!!

- Fred rocked the Jeopardy. Damn. Well played, sir. :)

- Got to snorg with two babies at Freopardy! A nine month old, and Miss Sophie (who is over six months). Baby snorgin'!!!

- Troy goes to Ireland! AGHHHH!!! To the Green Mill to buy him cider and appetizers! Sad not to be able to watch and play with him while he's gone; SUPER DUPER EXCITED for Troy. I'd be nervous and astounded. How damn cool... Wishing I knew Irish-y inspiring things to say.

- I putter around the house, and then head over to the Minneapolis Comedy Death Squad Open Mic at Grumpy's Downtown. I miss the first two sets: I suck. But the rest of the night is aces and happy swimmy. :)

- Maria Bamford shows up and does a set. She is funny and weird.

I love stand ups and their notes. Paper and notes and paper and notes. (Maria had a big yellow legal pad). This is how you do it.

- Wake up wayyy too early to introduce youngin's to Theater Games. W0000oooo. Trying to get a 'funny' (but nice) 8th Grader not to do a pot joke is like telling a puppy not to poop.

- Favorite kid is at the Science Museum again. He asks me, very calmly, if I could do my sound effects show a little quieter. :)

I'm having a *@&#$ of a time, for whatever reason, embedding this video. It's the trailer for Where the Wild Things are. It's directed by Spike Jonze. It's set to Arcade Fire. It's like they wondered, "hrrrmm... what would cause an emotional stunned reaction for emotionally stunted Jen to cry, at work? What will take her cynical klanky heart and crumple it like tin foil? Hey, did we mention Jen is tired? *meep*

Trailer.

Wasn't there something I was going to post? Something of goodness to say? oog!

Onward.

* It was really good cake too. Well done! :)

I don't write much...

2009-03-24T15:50:00.000-05:00

I twitter a bit. Or as I have heard that Mr. Colbert said, "Yes, I have twatted." Heh.

I have little to blog... how little?

Sunday!
- Dreamy relaxy!
- Youth! Go youth! Really good rehearsal!
- Ka-Baam!! rehearsal.. Hey, that's coming up soon, chickadees...
- Dreamy relaxy continues! Dreamy relaxy includes a tiny jog and a walk around the neighborhood.

Note: Boys are still faster than girls. Errr. Make that, most boys are faster than me. What makes boys able to run duper fast? Is it the latent little league experience? Is it the scrappy run, learned early on? Is it their shoes? I pretend like I'm a sprinter, feel bada$$ for about 3 seconds, and then get schooled. *sigh* Boys.

Monday
- Early teaching. 8th graders may hate me.
- A commercial audition! My agent remembers me, I remember them. More stopping in to show my face for things I won't get. It's a nice thought, though..

The relief of finishing a commercial audition mostly comes from "Now I am able to wash my face" or "now, I don't have to care about my hair". Being a girl who looks consistent is a challenge, and one that leaves me a little stressed.

- Laundry! (It's bottom of the barrel underwear time. Thank you, laundry, for fixing that).
- BSG! I'm almost done with 2.5. Good lord.
- Almost missing rehearsal for Penalty Box (soon up at IAGG!).
- Yoga beats my a$$. I am shaky and pleased. Afterwards, I purchase cookies.
- Dreamy relaxy go!

Tuesday
- And we're here.

Had a really couple of good shows at the Museum. Feel really lucky: I had fun, the audience had fun, I gave it my all, but didn't mean to. An eleven year old came up to tell me that he really enjoyed it, and shook my hand. Oh man, good stuff.

Want more Dreamy Relaxy! Or, rather, looking forward to more Dreamy Relaxy!

Onward.

Just a quick...

2009-03-21T15:26:00.000-05:00

Just a quick one, as it's time to zoom...

Thursday was all sorts of lovely, as time was spent with someone awesome and amazingly good food was eaten - - yeaa!!!

Hey, Friday was awesomes too!

- SPICY MEATLOAF SANDWICH. Holy crap. :)

- Sue came to the Museum, yea!!! She watched a show, held a snake and then we disappeared to..

- Senor Wong's! I had heard for Senor Wong's, but alas, had never been. Sue is a Master of the cheap Happy Hour - - the woman is amazing. $4 black bean croquettes? $3 jalapeno cream cheese wontons? YESH. (pssst... on Wednesdays, Senor Wong's offers happy hour ALL DAY. And on Thursdays, they do Kung Fu movies and Happy Hour, 10 p.m. til close. Why look, a list of their specials..
) If ever stuck in Asstown, get thyself to Senor Wong's...

- Onwards to meet up with Sue's friends at Merlin's Rest, where I contemplate getting a Premium.

- Onward to meet up with Dear Friends CoolPoint SkyRocket and Partner in Crime (i.e. Pat and Drew). YEAA!! We go down to Richfield, to eat at Naviya's Thai Kitchen. We sat and chatted like old friends do - - old-ly.

Naviya's Thai Kitchen! Not only is the food delicious, and the waiter charming (and only male working, I think), but a lady offered to teach me Thai Dancing! Holy hannah! She's got my number! (ermm... literally.)

- Onward to Mixed Tape, where Socially Awkward performed, happily and awkwardly. Yea!

- Onward to the awesome rest of the night. Very very lucky. :)

So.. yesh. Now finishing up with a Saturday, where I have done the same show four times. Audiences and snakes are blurring into one slithering mess. But a very nice slithering mess.

It's also been the day of four year old hecklers. One four year old made sure that I, and the audience, knew that he had touched a king cobra. Another four year old busted me on not taking her suggestion, and then explained that people can be also scared of "Stomping Monsters" and that these monsters "Try to steal [her] babies.. [her] stuffed animals". My god!

Onward to the rest of the evening. Very excited. Might try to go jog around a lake, but we shall see.

Onward.

Yea for Ratties!!

2009-03-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

Really lovely day at the Museum.. Awesome family from Iowa, sunshine, pretty nice as things go.

- Had a quick trial rehearsal with friend Chuck, and I think we've decided to continue to play. Yea!!! :) Rehearsing with Chuck feels like sitting into a fast moving easy chair: very comfortable, very quick. It's a fun thing to both settle in and reach forward. Cool.

- I ate a sandwich from Jasmine Deli. They know what I like. I also desire their soup, but can't drive and eat big bowl soup at the same time.

- Onward to friend Heidi's place for read thru's and rats!

Reasons I like:
- Heidi makes me laugh. She's also one of the few people who will offer me a diet soda. I don't really drink soda, but I like the specificity. :)

- Heidi, beautiful Heidi, has rats! (not pictured) Two big hooded rats and one big white one!

Upon reading , a beautiful graphic novel The Tale of One Bad Rat by Bryan Talbot, I owned a number of rats in college. Reasons I shouldn't have:

- I was in college.

- Nothing endears you to a roommate like a rat escaping into their room to wake them up by crawling all over them.

- I was in college.

But! Rats are excellent rodentia pets! Clever and clean, affectionate and funny. W00t for rats! And w00t for Heidi's rats, who let me pet them, chewed lightly on my fingers, and were just as chill as chill can be. And, one of these rats were FAT. Rats already walk kind of funny. This one dawdled side to side.. funny kid. :)

- Let's celebrate with a quick stop by the CC Club! Done and done!

- Onward to Grumpy's for a beautiful night of PBR and COMEDY!!, finished off by a trip to White Castle. W00t!

I'm dreamy happy, but also super tired and punchy. The poor middle schoolers for my show today weren't ready for me; I wasn't ready for them. Alas...

It turns out that one of my favorite kids (and repeat visitors) is at the Science Museum today! When I hold out my hand to him, he doesn't high-five my hand, he holds it.

Looking forward to tonight. :)

Onward.

Full of weird chili. My energies have been elsewhere..

2009-03-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

All of these things are true. Plus, after my first show, I had to lay down and take a nap (very lucky for the opportunity.. but.. whews) :)

I found out that a position that I was told that I should apply for, and that I'd be a good fit for, was passed to another person. Alas. I do not feel upset about not getting the job; I only feel restless as I had sort of rested my laurels on the possibility of getting this job. And was waiting to see what the world looked like after that. This is no longer an option: time to get back out there. NOW! (which should be fun. Back out there is fun.) :)

Happily dreamy whewwwwww... I brought in my friend, Mr. Dan Rooney, to coach Dr. Rocket (my Six Ring team) in Comedic Movement. How much fun was this? How CHALLENGING was this?

Here is the video - - we learned the beginning of this! Please don't be creeped by the Emmet Kelly make up...

Granted, a video from 1987 may not be the way to make learning this look "cool". But as far as learning another deal, dabbling in another venue of performance -- it was very very cool!

- The gal with a dance background totally shined. Oh, for a dance background! Oh, for body awareness! So cool to watch!

- Breaking down movements bit by bit always sends me for a loop. And most people, I suppose. (And absolutely us improvisers, who find the thing - the object, the gift, the emotion, the game - - quickly and then get wrapped up in our head space and verbals. Just simple physical emotionally driven reactions, all simplified, are so damn hard to us humans, sometimes...)

- This challenge could have been frustrating (I have a group of fairly physical performers), except it's also damned funny - - especially when performed live by your friends, six feet from your face.

- Yea for group learning!!

Watched Tightrope (Jill's team) rock an improv/jazz mash up beautifully, and then escaped with someone awesome to a place called Jimmy's in Nordeast. Beer sticks! Beer! Getting cute-hassled by the bartender and a guy named Angelo. Happy. :)

Lalalalala. My energies are elsewhere. I will focus - - I feel focus coming... I need to focus my focus. Here is to more loveliness, energies being elsewheres while ACCOMPANIED by me focusing too.

Oh heyyyy, the Cody Rivers Show is back in town this weekend. I've missed them every time they've come to Fringe. Yeeeargh! I think I get to see them this weekend! W00t!

I thought I might have more to blather about.. urmmm... It's okay if the blather pauses here. :)

Onward.

Saturdays and Sundays...

2009-03-15T20:09:00.000-05:00

What you do..

- Wake up not as blurry as we should be! Excellent! Onward to the train to the Farmer's Market on the wharf. Holy crap!

- Hot chocolate. Eggs, bacon and baguettes. Berry crepes and the crepes lady. Deborah and the CONE OF PORK! (you can buy a cone of prosciutto for $3. Best cone related food ever.

- We walk on Dave's pier, and watch crabs get fished.

- Unexpectedly, to Tadich's, the oldest restaurant in San Francisco!! Holy Hannah! All of the waiters and bar staff (all waiters, no women working) wear pharmacy coats. Doug makes us brandy alexanders at the bar. I have the chowder. Goodness me.

- Onward to walk and walk and walk and walk.. I have a moment between the financial district and Chinatown, en route to a GAP. This moment consisted of stupid, unrealistic, ungrateful anger. Grrrrr.... It was too much. I couldn't say "That's cool" another time, I couldn't be shown another restaurant or building that would never be visited, but yet be "better" or "cooler". It was a stupid and fussy moment, and so.. more on that later. :)

- We stop by an Old Navy, as Erin has a 30% off coupon to Gap related stores. San Franciscans, as cool and liberal and whatever as they are, also shop at the Gap and have to poop. This was oddly balancing.

- We take the train back, stop by a grocery store, and Erin makes an amazing meal. Goodness. More food, more wine, some Louis CK on their big television. Happy relaxing.

This was the first time that i got to see SF for just a place to live. The sheen happily parted a little, the houses looked like houses. This was a relief. SF is small, SF is pricey, SF is beautiful, SF is a place to be.

Now I'm in the Denver airport, finally catching a flight to MSP. I miss my friends, but get to see friends at home. Whom I miss a crapton.

Hey, I hear it's spring, Minneapolis. Alas. That's something too.

Onward.

Here's I am.. Rock me like a hurricane...

2009-03-14T11:58:00.000-05:00

This will probably be more lame listing than blog.. (hey look.. you can follow pictures along here.)

- Lovely morning on Thursday! I drink all of Dave's coffee. Sorry, Dave's coffee.

- We get lunch at the Submarine Center, which excels in awesome.

- Onward to the Botanical Gardens section of Golden Gate Park, to eat said sandwiches under a HUUUUUGE Dr. Seuss tree.

- We have the most un-Zen experience in the Zen Garden. The sprinklers were on. We lived a live action version of Super Mario Bros. and felt like ninjas. Happy and awesome. :)

- Dave dumps me in front of Amoeba Music, where a homeless dude calls me a cutie and quotes Fat Boys to me. Welcome to Haight Ashbury!

- It appears that all Tibetans might really be into pot and cheap sunglasses, given all the Tibet and Pipe shops. And cheap sunglasses.

- Walk past some Hari Krishna's and do not accept their literature.

- Walk through and up Divisadero, which I cannot pronounce, and therefore call it "Stu stu studio" street. Hey look, Castro Street..

- I have a beautiful espresso in a neighborhood corner shop, which sells amazing wine and British candies. heh.

- My first impression of the Castro is a Pottery Barn, a Diesel store, and a girl eating a chocolate covered ice cream coccck for her boyfriend's camera. Welcome to the Castro!

- All the mannequins in the Castro are scarily well-hung. And like to wear really expensive underwear. However, I will take the Castro over Haight Ashbury any day. Beautiful shops, beautiful places to eat, Rainbow flags - - it's lovely.

- Dave picks me up and we trek down to Boulder Creek, stopping by Alice's Restaurant to pee (they were playing Hall and Oats in the bathrooms). We stop at a look out, on top of high hills and mountains, to look at the sun. We let people pass on the mountain roads, and they flash their blinkers in gratitude. Which, I guess, is what you do. :)

- Tom and Claire's! We eat some amazing German food at a place called the Tyrolean (I have a porkbeefpork sandwich and spaetzel, covered with mushroom gravy), and then drink MGD for the rest of the night. Dave shows me the thick blanket of fog which covers the mountains, rushing in from the ocean, underneath a full moon, around 2 a.m.. We listen to aLOT of the Two Gallants.

- We eat at Spanky's for breakfast, putter around Tom and Claire's (and Lipton's) for a bit, and then onto Santa Cruz.

- Dave buys us a $8 crab cocktail and we share a Budweiser on the boardwalk. We bark and sealions. The ocean is blue, the sea lions are fussy: it's beautiful. :)

- We walk along the beach in Santa Cruz. The ocean attacks my jeans and Cons. I take revenge by stealing about a pound's worth of shells. Bwaha!

- Walk past Dave & Erin's old place. Get a snack at the Seabright Brewery of fish, chips & salad.

- Back to the City via the 1, which was beautiful. Parasailers like colorful seagulls, cows grazing alongside the ocean: this is the future.

- Onward to Bar Bambino in the Mission. It is ridiculous. Josh takes care of us.

- Onward to Bliss Bar in the Noe Valley neighborhood.

- We end up back at Dave & Erin's, for another unneeded cocktail and dancing to Snoop Dogg. Yep. Snoop Dogg.

All of this happened between Thursday and Friday. It was full and awesome.

Onward.

Immaculate comfy furniture...

2009-03-12T12:51:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the land of dreams... w00ts!

- Yesterday was gorgeous (despite the cooollllld), as breakfast was eaten (more green eggs!) and I was a blissed-out mess at the museum. :) There is nothing better than having someone awesome visit you at work.

- Frontier Airlines has an quirky staff. I approve. "We're 20 minutes early, so the next time you fly with us, and we're 20 minutes late, you're even." "You may now use your cell phones to call someone you love, but only if you use your inside voices". All this, and fuzzy animals on their planes? Indeed.

- I ate an almond croissant on the plane (from MSP), and beer and Corn Nuts in Denver. What?

- Lovely Dave picked me up from SFO, and brought me to the Pig and Whistle, where (unexpectedly) pub trivia was afoot. Helloooo, people of the City who are my age. It is good to see you.

- Trivia is much more satisfying when the questions are delivered with an honest to goodness British accent. (although, if the accent had been faked, that would have been brilliant too).

- Well-poured Old Speckled Hen is beyond creamy. Delish.

- Erin appeared, and off we went (as sitting down for food was impossible) to The Citrus Club, which was the most brilliant place ever, especially for someone who's tummy was thinking it was 12midnight. The Shangai Noodles had beef, fried sliced tofu, and black mushrooms in it: why doesn't this happen more often??

- Fell fast asleep in Dave and Erin's guest room. Dave lives as he always has: in welcoming, hip and immaculate spaces, filled with comfy furniture and music. I am beyond comfortable and lucky.

Dave and Erin continue to do amazing things. Dave works for AOL Music/Winamp; Erin assists a producer of Yo Gabba Gabba. Seriously. They live in the Twin Peaks neighborhood of San Fran (with two cats, Ganymede and Magnolia). Dave and I get to drive out of the City to go see Tom, which will blow my tiny mind. Granted, I got to see Tom last year, but.. it happens so rarely. And Tom is like the wind - - take these chances when we can. :)

We're old college roommates and old college friends. Our parents are starting to.. age. And our friends are starting to have kids. Dave and Tom (and Becky and Kelly and Jason...) are/or have been married. Look at us go! We're the grown-ups now (as we certainly weren't grown ups when we were 20, even if legally would could do things like buy porn and grill out).

I acknowledge the gooniness of being here for no reason, but to "be here". But... if we don't do these things, these things will never happen. :) And most of my dear friends from that time in my life live.. erm.. not in the Midwest (East coast! West coast! Mountains! Germany!). So.. yes.. Very lucky. Taking the chances when we can.

*grin* And convincing them to visit Minneapolis might be a bit of a trick.. (I'm not dissing on me, it's just that.. yeah.. Hanging out in NYC or SFO vs. hanging out in Mpls... the math is not on my side. I gotta get married or have a "I'm 34" party or somethin' and force them to travel. The next reason to force the people I love to get together should not be my funeral.)

Onward.

I am Jack's googly eyes..

2009-03-10T14:08:00.000-05:00

I am. I am a pair of happy googly eyes. This happy pair of googly eyes has a voice that goes in and out. But the eyes won't stop googling. :) This much googling may destroy all of South Minneapolis, like a blue tachyon bomb, but I cares not. Happy.

Watched "Revenge of the Nerds" for the first time in over 20 years, and ate super greasy Chinese food. How awesome was this? AWESOME. 33 year old Jen found the movie much more entertaining than 13 year old Jen, who had just gotten pissed at the gratuitousness. Sorry, world. 13 year old Jen wasn't ready for boob shots and did not get the 'pie' references at all. 33 year old Jen found the performances delightful, and jebus, the 80s were weird.

Monday was the start of the pack, followed by Monday Night Comedy Show! Which was actually much much fun. Felt bad: I hornswaggled "It Feels So Good When It Stops" into playing my game, which looked like "Jamie the Angry Koala's Storytime" (as I couldn't play, with this crappy pained voice, the other game). But it worked! I'm so happy, and hoping they are too. (I checked, they say they are.. but.. seriously.. I came in with a desperate demanding agenda. Thank you so so much for putting up with me and letting me play, IFSGWIS!!!)

Then watched "Wet Hot American Summer" and ate leftovers. After talking for a lovely long while. Really really lovely. Googly.. googly.. google!

Um.. the pack! I had a credit with Frontier Airlines. It would have expired had I not used it. Last month, in the middle of some serious grumps and "I need to leave", I used that credit to purchase tickets to see some dear friends from college. More travel I can't afford, but 'am going to anyway, justifying everything with "I'm not in rehearsal, I don't have a steady show, Life is too short". I assume rehearsals and the like will come again. But, until then, 'will visit people that I dearly love and never want to lose track of. It's been way too long.

One of these dear friends has his own Wiki page!? Jesus, Tom!

This is a mess of a blog. Someday, I might get my voice back and be able to type a full sentence. But until then, I'll happily be all googly and hoarse.

Onward.

Just one of those moments... (and mucus!)

2009-03-08T10:49:00.001-05:00

This is the most satisfyingly gross picture of laryngitis I could find. Not that I like gross, but this picture shows it pretty well.

I'm now into the coughy-gross-y late end of laryngitis. Yea for the end! Boo for coughy-gross-y. Stuff I learned:

- Laryngitis can be caused by bacteria, acid reflux and whatnot. (Thanks, internet!) It can also be caused by overuse of your voice. (stoopid Jen). Basically, something hurts your vocal chords, and then super sticky mucus lodges itself onto them. The drier your environment, the harder it is to get that sexy mucus off of your poor drying vocal cords. Suck! I get it about every other year, unless I keep myself healthy. I'm pretty good about the healthy part, until last week found me and trounced me.

- As far as I can tell and read, it's not contagious. It's something that happens, and gets to be your own personal deal.

- Tried a number of different methods of bring back the voice this time - - it was exploratory! Honey/lemon/red pepper/hot water still feels good, as does Throat Coat Tea (though my favorite is Yogi Tea's Throat Comfort And it's delish!) Gargling salt-laden hot water feels healthy and horrible, all at the same time. Lozenges/Singer's Saving Grace/Thayer's Slippery Elm all feel good, at least temporarily. (Why look, what a convenient website! I love "Entertainer's Secret Throat Relief"! They don't sell that at the Wedge.. It's wearing a little tux.. awesome!)

- Gargling half vinegar/half hot water seemed to make the most immediate and long term difference. And it's gross. It totally tastes like barfies. (Drinking 8 oz water to 2 tsp vinegar tasted fine, but didn't seem to do much.) So, that's my recommendation: gargle about 1/4 cup of half vinegar/half hot water regularly, try to stay hydrated, and wonder what became of your youth.

- Also, wear lots of scarves, as you'll feel all European and awesome. (they really do feel nice on the throat).

Had dinner last night. Have been nervous about this dinner for.. weeks? Almost two months? But.. it went well. Feeling very grateful and very lucky. Also felt something shift over. Just a moment of "poom" - - like a long term cycle kind of came to a close. Maybe I'm all hopped up on products from the Wedge, but it felt good. Something's different. More.

Need to figure out if my voice is decent enough to teach today. Mer. Mostly looking forward to hanging out. Also need to GET SOME STUFF DONE. CRAP!!! You know, like administrative stuff I've been putting off as this week was super busy, my throat stopped working, and my mind has been happily elsewhere. lalalalalaa...

Lesson #998: To enjoy the non-responsible moments, please take care of the responsible ones too. Or else you're just a slacker goon. (which is Australian for a box of cheap wine. Really?)

Onward.

Man, I like Eagle's clubs...

2009-03-07T14:21:00.000-06:00

Wood paneling, cheap Premium, and f'd up Christmas lights? I love you, Eagles Clubs. You are where I would like my hipster whitetrash salvation army wedding of love. It'd be hip and fun and we'd donate to whatever charity you like.. (within reason.. You know)

After my last show at the museum, my voice decided to leave. Take a vacation. It hasn't come back yet. Dammit. It leaves me sad and frustrated. And hampered, handicapped.

- Got some pity Grand Ole Creamery for self, and high fived some little kids. W00t!

- Fell asleep on couch, almost missed show call. Fell on sidewalk ice, spilling recouperative beverage on pants and splitting open finger. Arrrrrgh.

- The wonderful thing about people, especially improvisers, is that, if you start whispering or gesticulating, people will yes, and that and start whispering and gesticulating too. I didn't mean for that to happen, but we're built that way. :)

- Thank you for all the generosity and putting-up-with-ness, you wonderful peeps. I put the Awkward back into Socially Awkward, and the audience did not know what to do with me (as I, truly, did not know what to do with myself.. Hour 4 of having my voice taken away from me). Again, thank you, improvisers of Mixed Tape for your awesomeness and help!

- Someone I like spending time with totally rocked St. Paul's east side. I missed the set, which sucks, but how awesome.

- Filling body with herbs n' crap. I'm about to try the "drink 1-2 oz. vinegar" cure.. I have two shows left today... I'll try to make those happen, but I'm honestly not sure.

I have 5 or so minutes to make a decision re: next show. Argh.

Despite all my crab and crank, it's been a wonderful weekend so far. I should not complain, but I wish I could vocalize how lovely it's been, rather than fertively typed blog missives.

Onward.

Weeoooo weeeeoooooo

2009-03-06T14:00:00.000-06:00

I have no brains but happy thoughts.. lalalala...

Wednesday and Thursday were just plain chock a'block with good people and good stuff. Granted, I'm a little sleep deprived, so they're mostly a happy glowy blur. Yea!

- Socially Awkward reunited over beer and apps. We'll be at MIXED TAPE, this Friday (tonight!) at 10:30 p.m. at ComedySportz! Come see the fun!

- I received a soviet russia bang trim. It's more severe than I expected. In soviet russia, indeed, bangs trim you.

- Dinner with dear friend Sarah and her sweetie Matt. Fulfilling in so many ways, and ended laughing over youtube videos on the couch. Plus, amazing beet soup!

- I brought wine and girl scout cookies. There were girl scouts camped outside of Walgreens, crying "Girl Scout Cookies!!!!". I purchased two boxes. As a former girl scout, we never sold in front of stores. Somehow, it just feels weird. But, alas, it's 2009. It guess door to door sales are passe', peeps.

- Thursday was an extended cut. After work, an amazing and lovely dinner, followed by hangin' out, followed by KA-BAAM!!, followed by Watchmen!? Good god. It was absolutely lovely though.

- Ka-Baam!! was an utter blast. Thank you all that came! Worlds happily collided for me, as jazz friends saw improv friends and other friends - - yea! :)

- Caught Watchmen at the Lagoon.. errrrrrrm. Granted, I acknowledge the geniusness of the original work, and visually, the movie was damned impressive. Urrrrmmm... P-Bau put it best: "I think I just figured it out. Summing up this movie in two words: Blue junk." Heh.

- I guess I didn't quite 'get' what Mr. Snyder was trying to do. And the music choices were either atrocious or even more I-don't-get-what-he's-trying-to-do. Jesus. "The Sound of Silence" for a burial? Seriously? Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" as we fly to the 'secret lair' - - Jesus. F@#* YOUU, Mr. Snyder. (unless, I just didn't get it. Were those seriously your choices? really?? What?) Gross.

- That being said, the opening credits were really pretty. "Times, They are a'Changin'" by Dylan. That worked for me. All the rest: non.

- However, the friends in the audience of Watchmen made it much much nicer. :)

I'm curious to hear/see the backlash or the love.

Tonight! More stuff! Looking forward to fun, mostly. :)

Onward.

Oh man, Step 4 got skipped..

2009-03-04T16:15:00.000-06:00

Curses! Basically, step 4 is "suit up" and it looks like this (but with a red beret.. not raspberry red.. che guevera red.)

My Six Ring team did a beautiful job last night. I was giddy, tho I had very little to do with it, really. They looked all professional n' shit. Here's to the amazing, funny and loving Dr. Rocket.

Got to hang out a little, which left me all thrilled and happy. Food du jour? Braunschweiger, triscuits, cheddar, tapenade and wine. And Quentin Taranatino trailers. Does it get more awesome? No, indeedy do, it does not. Very lucky.

Woke up before 7 a.m. to be in Roseville around 8:30 a.m.. The Ala Carte gig went fabulously. The melodica performed, for the most part, like a champ. Where the accordion leaves me sore and frustrated, the melodica leaves me only light headed. Whew! I'm going to learn how to circular breathe and it's going to be awesome.

I met a number of pretty dang cool 2nd graders, including one that was 7 going on mom-hood. Everything she proclaimed sounded like a Minnesota mom from Roseville. There was also an awesome and geeky 2nd grader named Greta, who's uncle drew this on her.

Yeah, that's Darth Vader with a lightsaber. Yeah, Greta's uncle has gotta be pretty awesome. Greta told me about her and her friend's love of Star Wars (she's Anakin-generation, not us-generation), and then brought her friend over to discuss clone troopers.

I'm a broken record, but.. I'm really tired. Keep taking catnaps between shows. The next three days promises some serious sleepin' in. Despite my wimpiness, it's been a pretty wonderful couple of days. Yea! Very grateful. Can't wait for more.

Onward.

P.S. Wha-hey!! Ka-Baam!! returns to the Bryant Lake Bowl this Thursday at 10 p.m.! That's right! Tomorrow! Your favorite improvised comic books, complete with drawn on the spot art! Come check us out, we'd be giddy to see you. :)

Step 5

2009-03-04T13:57:00.000-06:00

Execute!!!

Step 3

2009-03-04T10:35:00.000-06:00

Mentally prep.

Step 2

2009-03-04T09:05:00.001-06:00

Reconnaisance.

(sp?)

Step 1

2009-03-04T08:47:00.001-06:00

Infiltration.

Eating my tool lunch..

2009-03-03T10:33:00.000-06:00

So, Starbucks makes a "Protein Pack" for too much money. Basically, Starbucks asked my subconscious, "What favorite things would you like in cute chopped up form? A tiny bagel? Some peanut butter? A hard boiled egg?" My subconscious totally agreed, and hence, my love of the "Protein Pack" was born. Yesh, I am a tool. But a tool with a tummy full of happy. (and a world full of waste.. I need to start making my own Protein Packs..)

Sunday finally came, and I am happy. The youth were good for their performance (and dark.. jesus. Grandpa got killed with an AIDS shot. Yep. That happened.) Oooh! It was so awesome to see some grown ups there! Thank you, kick ass grown ups with no relation to the kids! All this, followed by Ka-Baam!! rehearsal, followed by some BSG, followed by some hangin' out. Yeaaaa, hangin' out! Happy Jen. :)

Monday blurred by, but full of happy. (Errand running! Cheese buying! Vacuuming! Yoga! Music playing! Gin drinkin'! More hangin' out! ..happy jen. :) )

I woke up way too early this morning, still in a haze of happy, if not sleep deprived.

MELODICA! It arrived. I am finding that it takes even more breath to end a note gracefully - - you crazy wind instruments. I look ridiculous playing it (but very few people look cool playing a wind instrument. You generally need a pair of RayBans to pull off either Cool or Pep Band.. or Bill Clinton).

In the process of playing catch up/pulling head from butt. I had to bury myself and hide for a little bit. I don't know if I like the drama associated with becoming very hard to reach (I hope not.. drama can be dumb when self created), but.. it felt kind of necessary. Catch up underway, keeping head from a$$ also..

One of the gentlemen that I've been practicing the Jazz with, just edited together the story of how he and his wife became he and his wife. It's full of humor, even as worlds came crashing down because of it. Got to hear it yesterday. Just lovely. (in two years, it will be an animated short! I shall keep you updated!) :)

The next two days are going to be crazy busy. Lesson #466: No matter how prepared you are for something, it don't mean s#!t if you grab the wrong bag. Pay attention, chickadee.

Onward.

Things I like...

2009-03-01T10:54:00.000-06:00

I doff my hat to yesterday, as yesterday unexpectedly rocked socks.

Things that are awesome:

- Having really great and adorable audiences at the Museum.

- Having a grown-up get the Mamet joke I threw in after "The Adventures of Splish & Splash" - - Thanks, grown-up!

- Last weekend, a six year old tipped me a penny for a job well done. Thanks, awesome six year old. :)

- Having english muffins and eggs! You are living in the high life if you have English muffins and eggs. Aric had been mentioning eggs benedict through the twitterverse a fair amount: I am too chicken to make an actual hollandaise sauce (it's like soupy mayonnaise.. delicious soupy mayonnaise). So, instead, a white sauce was made, and eggs were cooked, and everything was poured together. Mwah! A cavalcade of beigey, sodium'd goodness.

- Unexpected dinner with Jim! oh man. Nothing makes things more right. Jim is working on a new photo series entitled "Looking For Beauty in Unlikely Places". It causes much giggling. We ate chicken salad, he took photos of the pie case.

- Kevin M's 40th birthday party! It was a Perfect Party - - in a theater, lovely conversation, fancy non-diva folks all cleaned up, dance music, wine and shrimp. The birthday boy wore a paper party crown. We hung out in the lobby of the theater (which ended up working like "the kitchen" in a regular party... everyone tends to the kitchen). Got to catch up with dear old friends: happily blissed.

- I think we're becoming the mid-guard. The majority of the folks at the party were in their 30s. We're not the 20somethings, just out of college, we're not the old guard, happily swimming away at the Guthrie. We're the mid-guard: those who have done chunky amounts of bad theater, and some amounts of good theater and.. haven't had kids yet, I guess. We will continue to do some good theater, shrug shoulders when it's bad, and someday actually do more life stuff - - like children. I love these peeps. :)

- Serendipity also popped its head up at the party, unexpectedly, and I wish to give serendipity a hug. Very lucky. I am very excited and grateful and it got me thinking about Nassim Nicolas Taleb and his black swans again (blog post here) We SHOULD go to more parties.

- It's was also boss-Steph's birthday! I excused myself and drove to St. Paul, to find myself staring at two copper covered grand pianos. It's dueling pianos! What!?

- What a weird gig. Part stand up (you don't have to be very good at the stand up - - the words hole, poop, and shave got substituted into a number of songs), mostly really good musician (luckily most songs have four chords, and I can't imagine that people get too creative with their requests, but.. holy crap. Pretty impressive). Sometimes you could see the hate in their eyes. But other times, the two piano dudes actually seemed to have a good time. Like a sad, AdventureLand version of Ben Folds.

- I slept in! Success!

- Green eggs! Leftover white sauce + frozen spinach + eggs + English muffins = happy morning Jen.

- I've been looking forward to today, Sunday, for a number of days. However, Saturday was such a gift. I cannot complain.

The only thing I am fussy about is the inability to move my body in an active fashion. I have gear for jogging when it's cold: however, I'm also a wimp and this is a bit too cold. So, I feel all kind of slovenly and gross. I think I'll try and continue to catch up on BSG and get out the yoga mat. Nothing says inner peace like HORRIBLE STRESSFUL THINGS HAPPENINGS! Or, I guess, nothing says inner peace like being a cylon.

Onward.

Really, TRULY, not much to report..

2009-02-27T09:14:00.000-06:00

Which I said that yesterday, and turned it into a rant against Steely Dan. (which.. Steely Dan.. they are fine musicians. They just give me the cringeys.)

(I tried to find an image which I love, which is of the comic book character Bone, covered in snow. It's awesome. However, the internet gave me this instead. I approve!)

- There was snow! Which fell amazingly fast. My commute was about two hours, BUT - I was warm. For the most part, I was safe. I had gas. I was lucky enough to hobble my way home.

- There was decompression! I made bread and veggie soup. I ate wayyyy too much bread and veggie soup. Nom nom nom.

- There was.. laundry. (you see where this is going)

- There was watching "Dollhouse" on hulu.com (which was, through a mix of conflicting expectations, pretty okay!)

- There was staying in, and I kept myself moderately busy. Doing... stuff that wasn't that important.

>- I am finding more music by watcing the videos online first. Neat! I feel all Friday Night Videos again.

- Oh! I bought a cheapie melodica off of the interwebs. I hope it's cool. A melodica is a piano that you blow through. It's a ridiculous looking instrument. But one that is stupidly fun to play. It's like panpipes for.. umm.. stupid people. Me. If Liberache had a video filled with spritely underclad male nymphs, they wouldn't be playing pan pipes - they'd be playing melodicas. I'm going to purchase myself a keyboard tie to wear whist I play this thing.

- If there's anyway that Bret and Jemaine are going to realize that they need a female bass & melodica player... this could be my ticket in.

For, for a Thursday night, given the fact that going anywhere sounded and looked heinous, it was a pretty nice(melodica-anticpatory) night.

Will there be joy in Mudville tonight? What adventures will be had? (um, exercise, and then maybe go see some friends do a funny show.) Time to shovel the driveway and play with snakes. (no guns, this time)

Onward.

It's Opinionated Blog Day!!

2009-02-26T09:21:00.000-06:00

Did you know that there's a Too Much Coffee Man opera!? Nope, neither did I..

Anywhoo's... I have nothing very exciting to blog about, but will anyway as my friend Christopher G. has found me! Yea!! Hi! :)

- The goat cheese slice and pint at the Mill may have been a poor idea. Sign #45 of aging.

- I sat between two pairs of ladies at the bar, who spent the entire night kvetching. And I realized, that this is EXACTLY how I sound when I'm with my lady friends one on one. We kvetch. Good lord. We ladies complain a lot. However, it was also kind of awesome. There is support given in the mutual kvetch. There is loving s#!t given in the mutual kvetch. Kvetch away, ladies!

- Les Claypool* is playing the Myth (this I believe). Devotchka, writers of one of the most romantic songs in existence, is opening?! And Saul Williams too (his Reparations song rocks my socks)?! Crap!! Weird!!! This show should be awesome. And.. weird!!!

It's almost spring. Can you feel it? Despite the pounding we're going to get today, it's getting closer. That stupid springy fresh air heroine rush that makes us justify the deadliest of winters over and over. Curses!

Quiet Thursday of work, teaching and wondering if I'm brave enough to infiltrate 7th Street to check out The Battle Royale tonight.

I bought my first Timbaland mp3 last night. It's the song that everyone knows. It's really good. I am that 7th grade teacher, tryin' to be cool. About a year and a half too late.

Onward.

*As a bass player, I should lovelovelove Les Claypool. Just as a comic book reader, I should love.. Batman (or the Hulk). I can't deny the innate awesome of either. But I never got into either. Ehhh.. I know he's a musical genius (which he is). But, what I've heard of Claypool has always left me cold. His stuff is very boy-centric weird-boy masculine, just as Batman (or the Hulk) is boy-centric weird-boy masculine. *grin* In this weird-boy incredibly-talented fast-note-playing way, I equate Claypool with Rush. No matter the time signature.

** Watch, if I actually make it to the show, I'll be gaga for Claypool and will deny up and down that I wrote this.

*** As a person of my GenX specific generation, both Rush and Steely Dan should cease to exist. Except for maybe some small sections of "Tom Sawyer". This may make me a horrible person. Sorry.

Forcing teens out of the comfort zone...

2009-02-25T11:05:00.000-06:00

... with screamy-screamy techniques.

Dear Middle Schoolers of a certain well-to-do suburb,

You both rock my socks, and depress me.

We may have too much in common. Your class looks about exactly what my class looked like (except that it was 1987. And we didn't have a Gap. We had a Half-Price Store.) You can be so awesome, and yet so knowledgeable about how life can suck. Giving off super love, or super worried about looking cool, and generally, super done with the crazed, fuzzy-haired improv teacher. And then you're super dumb. Or, then you super dig me and the workshop.

I do like that I can use giving them hugs as a threat. Especially if you're being hyper emo.

Love,
Jen

It may not be a correct or wise thing to try and cajole young teens out of their comfort zone, but that's what I'm supposed to do. At 8:30 a.m. in the morning. (Blarghh! Feel my caffeiney wrath!!) Again, we may have too much in common.

Last night was Operation Spoon Burger. (Operation Loose Meat admittedly sounds a bit squishy.) 'Had my first rehearsal at my house, followed by a lovely smorgasborg of tastiness. I made loosemeat sandwiches (technically, sloppy joes or spoon burgers, honestly). Team members brought delicious treats. We swapped stories, drank carrot juice and beer, my dog loved the attention.

Afterwards, after the couch had been moved back and decided to have a smoke on the porch, I felt at peace. And that's a freaky and kind of silly thing to say. But, I did. Or, the most at peace in the moment as I've been in a long time. And this was a little freaky to me. I didn't feel like having a bit of wine before going to bed, which I usually do. I just felt like going to bed, and sleeping the sleep of the sleepy. And this was.. sorta new.

I think I've lived kinda nervously, or in a state of continual judgement for a long time. We all do, but for the first time, I felt really aware the worry not being there. I couldn't have wanted anything more from the night. My roommie was super awesome for letting us do this. It was so nice to have the tv room fill with laughter. It was so nice to.. not worry.

I think things are changing and moving. I hope for the better. w00t. Back at you too.

Tomorrow, I sleep in! YESH. Today, I try and attempt to jog around a lake, before the multiple feets of snow descend upon the metro area. And we'll try some more stuff too.

I'll have a much whinier blog tomorrow, promise. ;) ... maybe.

Onward.

I'm just on that edge of really really tired..

2009-02-24T13:41:00.000-06:00

.. It's been really really lovely though..

Ka-Baam!! rehearsal and hangin' out and Venture Bros. (my god, the show will never grow tired for me) thus begins the week of early teaching. I can start to feel it when I've woken up one too many times before 8 a.m.. It's totally wimpy of me, but I'm in slow decline. Must make it to Thursday!! Coffee, bakery items, and eating unhealthily sound really good right now.

I also need a bang trim.

Things that may be dumb, but are also awesome:

- Calling a sheet of jazz music a chart. But, that's what we call it. Makes me feel all lingo-fied and possibly legitimate - - and, it's just damned fun to say.

- Cat stories. Cat stories are generally awesome by themselves. But hearing them from Tom and Hilde takes them wayyyy over to the awesome side. (Plus, Hilde made Pear Ginger pie! Very lucky.. :) )

- Herkimer's Zola Mac. Actually, there may be nothing dumb about this excepting it's lack of nutrition and abundance of awesome. Met dear friend Harry at Herkimer's, and gorgonzola, noodles, ham, conversation and beer were devoured. Awesome.

- More Venture Bros. and hanging out. Actually, this was all awesome too.

- Sunshine-driven happy mood. Sorry, perhaps it's time to fully admit that I am often solar powered. Man, it helps.

- Attempting to inject middle schools students from Edina with energy before 9 a.m.. This may fall more to the dumb side. Bed was hard to leave. Teenagers were all cross armed. Woof.

- Having Six Ring rehearsal at my house tonight.. I don't actually know where will fall yet, but hopefully it will land square in the middle, and just be fun.

I'm happy. I'm just so.. tired. Poor me.

Onward.

Eggs, toasts, and one teaspoon of headache smashing awesomeness

2009-02-22T13:04:00.000-06:00

My sister stands stubbornly by the notion that Sambal Oelek (who knew that it was actually called that) kicks the pants off of Sriracha (or cock sauce). This morning, I tip my hat to sambal oelek. My nose is running, endorphins are battling dehydration, and toxins fear me. As should everyone else. Chili sauce power battle go!!

The snow looked so pretty yesterday. And I'm a hater. I shoveled my driveway and felt super proud. It's perfect snowman snow!

I worked the 'late night' shift at the Science Museum yesterday, which was unexpectedly great.

a) Two 10 year old girls became my friends: Julia and Briana. Best audience members in the world, and their dad let them stay a hour later just to see my last show. It was wonderful.

b) Grown ups asking questions! Oh my goodness! Honest, thought provoking questions! Holy hannah!

b.2) What happens if you drink Liquid Nitrogen? I can't say this in front of kids, but chemistry majors/lab dudes have told me stories. Nitrogen becomes a liquid at -320 degrees Fahrenheit. That's cold enough to cause instant frostbite: however, you are about 400 degrees warmer than that Nitrogen. So, if you were dunked into a vat supervillian vat of N, that would suck. But, if a little of it comes into contact with you, it just boils away.

SO - - I've been told if you drink just a little of it (say, half a dixie cup) - - the water vapor and water in your mouth begin to instantly condense as it comes into contact with the boiling, evaporating, super cold Nitrogen. Freaky looking clouds begin to pour out of your mouth and nose. If enough of the N makes it to your tummy and boils away there, you're stuck burping for about a half hour. The more you know..

And, it may be all lies. This is only what I've been told. I should have just youtube'd it: there's gotta be clips of bored chemistry majors.

Onward to the Red Dragon.. ohhh, damn you Red Dragon. But! It was wonderful!!! Reconnected with the best of friends, three of which I haven't seen since 2008. YES YES YES! Aces. Awesome. Hugs galore. Trouble. :)

Onward to karaoke at the VFW. I've never been to karaoke at the VFW in Uptown...
a) It was packed! We knew that going in.

b) We were worried about the douchebag quotient. It, and they, were fine.

c) The two gentlemen who performed the duet of "Electric Avenue" need to be held up in the highest of highest regard. IT WAS HILARIOUS. I cannot express the awesome power of these two gentlemen's fuckin'-around-ness. Whoever you lovely boys are... Thank you.

d) The karaoke maven, a grandma in her 70s probably, let me sing "Proud to be an American" with her, unexpectedly. W00t! I grew up in Iowa in the eighties, I know the words. And then, her husband shocked us all with his absolutely beautiful voice. I thanked her, and mentioned that voice - - and that's how they met. His voice! She heard him doing karaoke, they got together, and have been married for nine years.

Sad part: they're getting divorced. :( But they'll still do the karaoke business together (that's $35,000 worth of equipment, people.. or at least that's what she told me, twice.)

Crashed at Partner In Crime's to a submarine movie on Turner Classic Movies. EVERYTHING IS TENSE ON A SUBMARINE!!!! Dinner! Coffee! TENSE!!

I would have slept more this morning if it wasn't for the 30 collective pounds of whiny scratchy vocal neediness. Now, of course, they're angels. But from 10 a.m. until about 12:18 p.m., they were horrible. arrrrrrgh. My hat tips to all the parents in the world, who's 30 pounds of neediness are another human being. I can put the cat on the front porch - - an infant, I'm assuming, it'd be harder to do that.

Workin' today, but get to have dinner and Ka-Baam!! rehearsal! That's right! Ka-Baam!!'s coming back to the BLB! YEAAA!!! Let's see if we remember how to do this.

Onward.

The world went poof! (but i got to see some music)

2009-02-21T02:07:00.000-06:00

yesh. Met up with dear friends Sue and Josh to visit the Kitty Cat Klub (where all the decorations from the original Loring went to roost) to watch some music. Lovely!

- The Painted Saints (pictured): Morphine + Andrew Bird + Spaghetti Western String Company ='s Painted Saints. Awesome.

- Abbey Wolf: Whales having sex. Somehow, whales sound like a thin 20something brunette when they have sex. It nearly put Sue and Josh to sleep, but for some reason, she has quite a following (i.e. thin 20something brunette making musical sex sounds). We sneaked away...

So much snow..! I feel I, and the rest of the Twin Cities, will have to shovel tomorrow.

Onward.

The older I get, the more I love Morrissey...

2009-02-20T08:56:00.000-06:00

If I was a prepostnewwavepunkrock crooner, this is how I would sing (like an unapologetic diva). And what I would want for my videos (bored musician boys and puppy dogs). Wonderfuls.

Did I expect to grow up and become a Morrissey-loving fool? No. The better question may be why did it take so long.

It's been a lovely couple days of beers with friends. Yea, beers with friends!

a) Namaste Cafe's food is brilliant. However, if you order bread/roti, you don't get much. Word to the wise.

b) Friend Jen says many many many smart things about many many many different subjects. I am lucky to have friend Jen.

c) Went out last night, and had a wonderful time. 'Had a very 'Minneapolis' evening, as dinner was at the Red Dragon and movie was at St. Anthony Main. Happy. :)

c.2) St. Anthony Main is probably my favorite movie theater, as it still feels like a movie theater to me. There are no cupholders, the seats do not recline, the screen is small, and we were 2 of 3 people in the room. No one farted popcorn farts on me. It's quiet, and I love it.

d) Shrimp toast, actually very tasty, not very shrimpy.

e) Grand Torino!! oh goodness. I can see where people could pick this movie apart (the supporting actors are either working American character actors - - yea! - - or complete unknowns - - also yea! And, with the exception of one guy I couldn't quite get into, they're fine, good, yes.), but - - Eastwood is so damned terribly smart. It's a very simple story in some ways, but a terribly complicated one to make actually work, I think. And he did. He made this the way he wanted to make this, and he plays his character the way he wants to play it. Not always that subtly. And it's actually great. Plus, one of his character choices is a growl. I love it.

f) It makes you ache, pine, wish, whatever that this movie was made in St. Paul. We know this story, we know these characters - - arrghhh!

g) I spent the last eighth of the movie tearing up. This made me look very tired. I am not a pretty, one tear down the face crier. I am a red eyed, snotty nosed, watery-eyed mess, generally.

h) There is nothing better than someone plugging your meter.. in a non-euphemistic way.

Really wonderful happy evening, after a semi-stressful up-in-the-air sort of day.

Yesterday, I also performed for the first time using the live snakes. The snakes were incredibly chill, and stole the show.

I love the little corn snake called Bubba. (Secretly wondering if Bubba may need a home after the Goosebumps exhibit is done. I don't need another animal, I'd have to find a way to place the cage in un-kitty-cat-able regions, and it would mean microwaving little dead baby mice for him biweekly, but.. he's the bees knees, as far as legless reptiles go.)

Onward.

Another reason why the Muff Monday girls rock...

2009-02-18T23:43:00.000-06:00

I've been telling everyone about the sketch/gameshow of "Guess What My Ex-Boyfriend's Penis Size Is" (which consisted of semi-naked picture of boyfriend, HORRIBLE story of what said ex did, then giving choices of his penis size - - my favorite being "Acockalypse Now".. because if his penis touched you, it'd be the end of the world.

They snuck a thrift store saucer into my bag (I had no clue), along with these directions:

"Mosaics Therapy"
1. Say fuck it and smash the plate.

2. Pick up the pieces.

3. Make something beautiful with whats left over.

Muff Mondays

Onward.

What I learned..

2009-02-18T00:38:00.001-06:00

- Phoenix is bizarro Minneapolis. They come out in the winter, we come out in the summer. We dress in a lot of clothes, they are more comfortable dressing in none..ish.

- Improv ='s funny. Storytelling/standup ='s funny. An unprepared half way in between attempt ='s not so funny. Glad I tried, but feel bad that I sucked. So so generous of the Muffs!!

Alys picked me up, after hapy hour with my sister and three art openings on campus! (one of the openings was a Ball Pit!! A grown up size, 4 feet of plastic balls, ball pit. This was f-ing delightful. Period. Yea, Art!!! Photos to follow...)

- Yeaaaaaa, Alys!!! The beautiful Alys picked me up and drove me around and chatted and hugged and oh, for happy!!!! :)

- Yeaaaaa, Jose!!! Got to see and hugs and chat with Jose!!!! Jose gives off love like the sun gives off rainbows. Yeaaaa!!!!

- Met amazing lovely new ladies, including the lovely funny ladies of Muff Mondays at the Ruby Room. Smart & funny & dirty & cute -- Jose bought me a $4 muffdiver, and I laughed and laughed.

- Well-done burlesque still makes me do happy dances.

- Back to Tempe, for disturbed sleep on my sister loveseat. A friend of my sister's drove me to the airport. Again, very generous.

Back to Minneapolis...I have no idea how I feel about this except that it's fine. Mom was right: it's the hangin' out that's fun. Whether with old friends, new friends, friend friends or family - it's an important part of life, and should be done often. (so.. Um... looking forward to happy hour tonight.)

Happy Hour accomplished. It was an amazing group of people. Bittersweet and strange and wonderful. Josh said it felt like an Irish funeral, and having only pretended to be at one before, it was better than pretend. It felt right. Thank you all for a lovely night. :)

Onward.

Welcome to Scottsdale... (and Tempe, thank god)

2009-02-16T17:30:00.000-06:00

- Hi Scottsdale. Gucci bags! Prada bags! I'm starting to loathe the sight of a designer bag. A PINK outfit with a sparkly earth and silkscreened 'recycling' symbology on it, worn with a Chanel something, done hair, and painted toes. Boobs. So much boobs. So many 50 somethings in Beemers, so many penis-related cars. Conspicuous consumption... Really really shiny & coiffed conspicuous consumption.

- As far as I'm concerned, the AllStar game can kiss my a$$. From people waking up my mom after AllStar partying, from AllStar drama at the airport, I hold the NBA in the same regard as.. I dunno. As a super rich strip club owner. One that is mean to his employees and has a greasy belly. Smokes a cigar. Looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Possibly Jabba the Hutt. Relishes in other's misfortune. Sweats when he thinks. Ewwww.

- Welcome to Tempe! Tempe is full of urban hipsters and skateboards, tattews and 80s sunglasses. Tempe felt like a breath of fresh air. It's still conspicuous consumption, but it's stuff I can relate to. And I don't think hipster eat babies, or dress said babies in scratchy diamonds.

- Watched a hummingbird! Saw a tortoise! Plus a hipster on a trampoline, pulling up her skinny jeans and holding onto her hipster hat.

- Now on a light rail train, to visit a building dedicated to science. It is the future (which looks like it was built by jawas.)

- Who will tell Nick & Clarence that I did not spend the $11 to see the Star Trek exhibit?

Onward.

What I think what happened..

2009-02-16T06:50:00.001-06:00

I think a Party Promoter/Producer rented out a block of rooms at this hotel, and filled them with Party People, to make sure the NBA Players were not bored by Phoenix's possible lack of hoochie. Or loud dudes.

We've seen all variation of necklines and vagina-skimming skirts.

I've tried to remember everytime I was the shitty yelling hotel guest.

I've tried to remember everytime I was chatting from 1 a.m. - 6 a.m..

I know I've been that. But I also know that I haven't.

Scottsdale Hilton: awesome beds, no pop machine, no continental breakfast for mom. And one weekend this year, full of loud hoochies.

Onward.

Welcome to AZ, where sales go to die...

2009-02-15T20:31:00.000-06:00

Welcome to AZ!

- Kay and I spend Friday wandering about her campus, getting coffee (after a lovely Frenchified breakfast), and watching her work work work. She's busy.

- Welcome to AZ, Mom! We got a priceline deal on a Hilton (wha?) in Scottsdale. It appears that we are sharing the hotel with entourages -- possibly of basketball players, possibly of their girlfriends. They shop at Louis Vitton and get fussy when the concierge won't switch their rooms to poolside. They also wear really really really tight pants.. perhaps leggings... pants. Fancy, and Hoochie!

- We eat pizza, and then dessert at the Sugar Bowl! Holy crap, the Sugar Bowl!! The Sugar Bowl is owned by relations of the guy who drew Family Circle. Delicious ice cream, plus you can order "Jello, Potato Chips & Tea Sandwiches" as an entree (alas, we just had ice cream) Pictures to follow!

- To an outdoor mall, complete with fires, couches, and cover bands.

- Saturday involved Frenchified breakfast, wandering around campus, and taking a packed light rail to the Phoenix Art Museum. Mom did great. The Museum was friendly, open, inviting and Quality! Just loved their collections, neat-o.

- Packed Light Rail, it's the NBA All Star Game in downtown Phoenix. These are some of the happiest, most pleasant public transit riders ever. Gracious.

- Frank & Lupe's for dinner (awesome texmex), drop mom off at hotel, go get beers with sister. Very happy Valentine's day, honestly.

- Harlowe's Diner for breakfast, Kay to campus for work, and Mom and I explore. We drive by Taliesin West, we drive by a mountain, we get In-N-Out burger!!! Mom-approved!

- We go looking at antique stores, which was overwhelming. Phoenix means Sun City, Sun City means senior citizens, senior citizens mean that sometimes they pass away and their families don't know what to do with their stuff. Sad, a little macabre, but also astonishing. So..much..stuff. We buy $5 worth of stuff.

- We drive by an indoor outlet store, where the majority of the population of the Phoenix area seems to be hiding.

It's been lovely. Today's the first grey day, but still warm. Tempe is filled with midwesterners. Phoenix is filled with toddlers (A LOT of young families). We've eaten super well. AZ is like southern California, but without that pesky (beautiful) ocean.

Mom goes back tomorrow (argh). Kay and I have had only one blow out (what my mom refers to as a pissing match.. We're dumb.) I get one more day, but my last night here in a super comfy bed. Tha's okay... just very lucky to be here.

Onward.

Welcome to AZ...

2009-02-13T15:38:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting in my sister's studio (or, at least, the place she works on campus), typing on her computer while grad student buzzy like bees and discuss things that seem REALLY IMPORTANT TO THEM! Alas, I'm blogging right now about THINGS THAT ARE REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. (Or, at least, important enough to blather on a blog about.) Glass houses..

A print professor just let me peruse a bunch of expensive pop up books! I just had a coffee! This is idyllic!

Welcome to Tempe!

- Tempe has not only palm trees and olive trees and pomegranate trees, but many many citrus trees which drop many many oranges. It looks like everyone's grocery bags keep coming undone.

- If you put an orange tree to close to another citrus tree, it will have little mixed citrus babies. Fascinating!

- It's sunny and 70. I'm spoiled silly right now, I realize. This is ridiculous.

- While AZ fills you with sun-issued Vitamin D, it secretly takes all the water from you. sllluuurrrrp! Because of this, my sister's bathroom is filled with moisturizer.

- I spent the day cleaning her kitchen. If I'm related to you, and you leave the house, chances are that I'll clean your kitchen. (I have kitchen issues. Every thing must be contained! Every surface must be wiped! Arrrghhh! It may stem from a fear of finding little bugs in grains, but mostly, it just probably me exerting control through sanitizing spray.)

- Restaurants are bistro sized here. We went out for thai (at Thai Basil, although I hear there's a Thai Elephant, which sounds ever more exciting..) :)

- AZ is the land of the one beer drunk. I was three quarters through my beer, and my sister goes "Can you feel it?". And yes! AZ leaves you dehydrated, and makes you a very cheap date.

- I go to pick my mom up at the airport pretty soon.

We have no real plans.. just hanging around, looking at stuff, and fussing in general. Wish us luck! :)

Onward.

Ohhh.. it one of THOSE mornings..

2009-02-12T08:09:00.001-06:00

Man, as much as I like mornings, I forget to like mornings. And so, I wake up tired and, for whatever reason, disgruntled and angry. Is there any rational explanation for this? No. Mornings are lovely. Time to start reminding oneself of that. Instead of thinking thoughts like "mrmrmmmmmrmm" or "I have no nostalgia".

I am growing into a crank. Plain and simple.

Tuesday involved Six Ringing, and D'amico's with Beth. yeaa!! Hello, sanity - - it's nice to see you. It also involved a trip to the Happy Gnome with Josh and Sue and Mary! YEAAA! Josh wanted coffee & beer, so we sampled our way through every stout which mentioned coffee on the menu. (nom nom nom)

Wednesday involved some serious Science Museum-ing, followed by packing and class. Wonderful class. Thank you, class! And then to the Mill with Nels, to do some brain picking and chat. All wonderful stuff, and no reason to become Lady Angry.

Lesson 1: Chill the f out.

Lesson 16: Don't try to live in your head. It's messy. Try living outside of your head. Remind yourself this whenever you set up shop in your brain.

Today, involves bussing! Which is always a little stressful. It doesn't have to be, but sometimes, that's just what my brain says. Part of that bussing is taking it from the Museum and hopping upon a plane. Sister visit away! It's funny that the whole reason for a visit (family) can also be one of the reasons for feeling apprehensive (family). Ah well.

Onward.