It's so dumb..!

It's so dumb that because of the way my innards are set up, they might randomly seize up every 28 days or so, and cause what are innocently referred to as "cramps". owowow. Thankfully, the chemical compound called "ibuprofen" comes in tasty little pill form. Nom nom nom... (owwwww)

At Java Jacks, which is on Washington Ave N. I am sitting at a bar. They are playing White Stripes. There are outlets everywhere and free wifi. I am hyper-pleased.

Visited the Minneapolis Public School Warehouse sale! Good gracious! I guess they have one every few months or so.

Location:
THERE IS ONLY ONE ROAD TO THE MPLS PUBLIC SCHOOL WAREHOUSE. 1550 Jackson St NE door N should have multiple points of entry, but alas, it does not! You must turn west onto 13th off of Central Ave, and then desperately search for signs. I took me 15 minutes of circling to figure this out. Surprisingly, this didn't bug me as much as I thought it would. I tried to remind myself to be pissy, but couldn't work up the momentum. I love the old warehouses around 13th & Quincy Ave in Nordeast. It's where I used to practice with a band (underneath a mattress warehouse) back when I was cool. And it's so cool to see artists find these warehouses and fill them full of goodness. Neat.

Stuff:
Oh my god! A warehouse, all brick and old, filled with old public school stuff. Pianos (with the letters of the notes written on the keys!) for $5. An old scoreboard. Tables and wash stations and strange cabinets and old shop signs and ahhhh.. awesome. Followed the signs back to the musical instruments.

More Stuff:
It turns out that Minneapolis is closing down it's Musical Repair Department. This is a pity, according to a retired orchestra teacher, and I agree. Who knew that Minneapolis Public Schools had its own inhouse musical instrument repair shop - - isn't that cool. Now, as the teacher told me, it's being outsourced. What does an inhouse musical repair shop have? Beautiful amazing used and new old musical instrument bits (plus full ancient saxophones, dozens of clarinets, darkened flutes, drum heads, brass sousaphone bells.. beautiful!). I hung over the stringed instrument bits (public school orchestra, 8 years...).. Wood! and String! and more wood... aghhhhh!!!!

If anyone's played in band/orchestra, and played off of public school instruments - - there's an underdoggeness to it. Each instrument was precious (even if in horrible shape), and was to be protected and practiced on - - here was your key to this activity you liked to do, and you just had to pay a rental fee for something that might potentially cost $1,000s of dollars. And here were the memories and beloved beaten up instruments from over 50 years of Mpls Public School music programs. Bittersweet and practical all at the same time...

I asked the ladies working the til what might happen to the rest of the stuff if it doesn't get sold, and they said (sadly) that they didn't know. So much wonderful potential (violin bridges, bow hair, piano wire, brass valves, more more more), possibly to go to waste. Argh!

I put down a bid on a cello body (adding to the mystique of the Public School sale.. not only was it impossible to get to.. you didn't know if you could purchase something you wanted or not. Tricky..)

HEY!!! You know what's tonight? CREATURE FEATURE!!! 8 p.m. at the Brave New Workshop. Hells to the yeah, my friends. Please come watch! Possibly scary, should be funny...

Onward.

My life just ain't that excitin'...

..which is okay. It's just been a three week run of funeral/travel/birthday.

Fine day at the museum, which was bright & bustly compared to the greycold sweep of outside. I like that the weather today was sort of a caricature of what a cold, wet autumn day should be -- well played, whoever plans these things.

Throngs of K-2nd graders in uniforms made the museum pretty adorable. Compared to the kindergarteners, the 2nd graders are 7 going on 30.

I prep for a little more travel next week. In an attempt to actively increase my debt, I visit my old college roomie and amazing friend Kelly in NYC on Monday (limited time off + life's too short = go see Kelly now!). Kelly is the loveliest of successful smartypants, beautiful, lives in Manhattan, and can probably drink me under the table. Awesome. I have requested to eat a slice and maybe walk a lot (although the Essex Sea plays in Brooklyn on Wednesday!! Aghhh!!!) If you have any recommendations of who/what/eat, lemme know... :)

For some reason, 2012 has been knocking against my subconsious of late, enough to freak it out a little. Either I've read too much or not enough, but if the end of the world (or global human elightenment) happens, I mostly hope that my pets will be okay.

Onward.

P.S. Creature Feature!! Tomorrow, 8 p.m. at the Brave New Workshop!!! Improvised horror, made just for you (you sick bastard..) Yea!!!

Inflection

Really lovely night, after cleaning the house and exploring the backyard with the dog & cat. (I attempted blue eyeshadow in a non-ironic fashion. Almost succeeded! ... Almost.)

Purchased some cigarettes after lovely dinner of spicy squid (nom nom nom) and a pork omelet (oh, Thai..! We asked nearly everyone at the King & I if they knew Ellie... Ellie's name automatically made everyone smile. Yea!). Slid my ID under the plastic cashier box (the box they keep SuperAmerica cashiers in). The pierced/neck-tattoo'd guy peered at my ID and said, "There's no way you could be _that_ old."

Thank you.. ...?

Ha. Hrm.

But I am and that's alright with me. Very very thankful for you (yes, you!) and feeling loved.. Thank you!!!

(*grin* Now I get to give my mom and sister a hard time for not calling.. My family -- including me.. I am the worst of offenders -- sucks at birthdays...)

Onward.

Hewwww....

The animals just totally bonked head when trying to jump at the same time.

That was pretty adorable.

Onward.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you are the bestest of all peeps...

This is a big ol hug. To you and everyone else.

The weekend has sped by -- got back Saturday morning, lost my car in the Humphrey Terminal ramp (I'm an idiot), taught on Saturday afternoon, then Stitch n' Bitch, followed by cast party.. Just lovely. At about 11 p.m., I counted and realized I had been awake for about 20 hours, after 4 hours of sleep. Good night.

Sunday - Got a full 8 hours of sleep, and zoomed into work (being film noir bugs with Bob is super fun), ran around a lake (yea!), had gametime happy hour with dear friend Greg, Stitch n' Bitch, onto a reading (Isaac & I got to play a super fun game.. He is totally a monkey), and then getting to see the boy... Yea!

Woke up at 4:45 am a confused and dazed mess. (I had woke up around 2 am, and couldn't get back to sleep), drove to Adam's house by 5:35 am, carpooled to Rochester and performed for about 300 Ohlmstead County workers. I've never started a day, much less a birthday, by singing "I'm a butt doctor of love!!!!" to the blues. It was really lovely.

Now I'm at D'amico & Sons, spoiling myself to a three salad sample and a glass of wine, pretending that I once studied abroad in Italy, and that this meal reminds me Milan.

I'm overwhelmed and it fills my heart. Very generous, very lovely birthday wishes from very lovely and very generous people.. I am so blessed. Thank you!!!Thank you!!!Thank you!!!Thank you!!! I love you. :)

One tries to be selective about one takes personally... Traffic, try not to take personally. Cold weather, try not to take personally. Lovely wishes from amazing people - - I might take greedily personally, just to experience the love and send it back.

I am a butt doctor of love.

Onward.

(All 33 years of me says thank you!!!) :)

Teeeee

Too-early-to-be-this-happy, red faced, big voiced man to small Japanese adorable boy: WHERE YOU GOIN'?

Amazingly adorable Japanese 2 year old wearing a sweater vest: DISSSSSSSSNEYLAND!!!!

Man, loud enough so the whole plane turns: REALLY? IS THAT WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'?

Adorable 2 yr old: MICKEEEEY MOUSE!!!!!

They should probably have their own tv show -- perhaps as detective partners.

Man: WHAT DID THE LAB REPORT FIND IN THE CHRYSLER?!

Child: BLLLLLLLOOOOD!!

Man: REALLY? IS THAT WHAT YOU FOUND?!

Child: MICKEEEEEEY MOUSE!!!!

The little one would take his coffee in a sippy cup.

Man, Northwest has us packed in here. Why make a plane that anyone over 5'2", your knees will touch the chair in front of you? Why compress the American space bubble even more when you tilt the chairs back? The lady across the aisle from me is about my height, and is compressed between a lady with chair tilted impossibly back, and a guy with a mouthful of snuf. No offense to all my chewin', seat-reclinin' friends, but I worry for the lady's soul.

I'm tired. Taxi driver named Phillip took me from the hotel to the airport at 4:30 a.m. today. He's originally from NYC, moved after 9/11 (couldn't make a living after the attacks) and ended up loving Philly. Still gets back to NYC to visit family and close taxi-drivin' friends (they take him out for "steak and beer", which sounds pretty awesome), but says New Yorkers are two-faced: they act nice, but will stab you in the back. Says Philadelphians are much nicer. Asked him if he has met people, made friends, etc., and he said he meets a lot of people driving cab, and likes the discussions he has everyday. Being social. He made the trip to the airport lovely (even if I was a blurry, sleepy mess).

Detroit has the airport of the future. Who knew? (and cheap egg breakfasts.. I went for the overpriced Lucky Charms).

Onward.

Why so weird, weirdo..?

I'm tuckered. And truth be told, I didn't do that much...

- Woke up and went to the hotel gym thingie. Recycled air makes sweating super icky.

- I heart the Reading Terminal Market. Coffee and a ham & cheese crepe, watching old women in hats & construction workers eating salad & old acquaintences chatting, while I typed on free intenet and browsed a Philly daily. Really lovely.

- Four hours of Forum workshop. Walked back over to the Market during break and got some clam chowder/soup.

- Done!!! Almost. Free 1.5 hours spent wandering through DT Philly to Old Town.

- Saw the Liberty Bell. It's presented in a lovely way, with a whole bunch of signage, made to impress you with HOW IMPORTANT the Liberty Bell.

- Old Town is filled with people who work for the National Park Service. They all wear knatty, green, Dudley DoRight hats.

- To dinner in Chinatown, at Rangoon Burmese. It was delicious!!! People of Burma: I salute your culinary prowess!! Awesome!! My dessert was both red & green, gelatin & dairy.

- Spot a couple of collegues in the now hopping hotel lobby. Catch up with awesome ones at the Continental again.

I like Philadephia. I like the history. I kinda even like the dirt. I like the casual conversation that hides on the Coasts, that the Upper Midwest is so bad at -- strangers can talk to each other and it's not weird or creepy. It's lovely. People say please and thank you and notice each other. Granted, you can also get mugged n' shit, but I felt pretty darn safe the entire time I've been here. I even feel... welcome.

Like most big east coast cities, it's made up of all flavors of people -- abject poverty to men in business suits. But mostly, I think Phillie feels like a place people come to work. I like that.

Being Downtown may be starting to play with me... It feels like a while since I've seen a horizon, or been not-surrounded by tall (albeit rather old and lovely) buildings. Most trips aren't spent entirely in a downtown area, and as much as I dig it, it makes me jumpy and tired too. And I didn't know that. I think I'd grow out of it with prolonged exposure. Just didn't know I'd get the jumpies.

Flight at 6:30 am tomorrow. Argh.

Wish us luck.

Onward.

Ben Franklin invented the internet...

Forum done. It went alright (pretty darn well), with one big reservation that makes me sad and mad - - but really, it went alright. It comes down to - - know yer space. But, with this traveling presentation sort of thing, you rarely if ever know your space. So accessibility issues were crap. But, after the anticipation and stress of presenting the forum to your (very nice, but super smarty pants) peers, and then to have it go well EXCEPT for that accessibility part... I truly can't complain. But did I? yesh.

We had the forum at the Franklin Institute, in a big ole room with a big ole Ben Franklin stuck in it. They recently installed a light show (purty darn cool light show) which visually implies how Ben Franklin not only invented the fire department and bifocals, but also DNA, the airplane, and possibly ladders. Ben Franklin was super smart.

Ended up at the Cherry Street Tavern, and then to one of Philly's "Starr" Restaurants, the Continental , all complete with a rooftop patio and swankiness. I pronounced Yuengling wrong about a million times. (which waiter quizzed me on... "it feels like I'm ordering a panda").

Philadelphia - - cool, underdog town. So far, I dig. Yea!! Super good food, good people, old history, pretty buildings, quietly working against all sorts of crap (or others' opinions of crap) that used to be... This probably isn't the next Portland, but it could be the Brooklyn (shhhhhhhhhh). But without the hipster cool that might come with a Brooklyn... Go Phillies!

(They're giving away Obama/Phillies pins in Chinatown, I guess...)

Wish us all luck.

Onward.

Ain't no pretension...

..at the Reading Terminal Market.

It's blue collar! The food's the real deal! And it's actually used by locals (at least on a Thurs.). The Mpls World Market on Chicago Ave feels like it belong in Mpls (neo-lib, all Heart of the Beast-kinda) and Vancouver's Market feels like it belongs there (Fancy! Polished! Pricey!), and the Terminal belongs here (not fucking around, so many choices, sales people, police, and Pensylvania Dutch wearing Sketchers -- everyone here just to mind their own business and eat. And everyone's, in general, nice.) I'm sitting on lawn furniture in a common eating area: ain't no pretension here. Except for me. Yea!

Go Phillies! Got generously taken to South Philly to watch the game at "The Devil's Den", a beer-snobbery neighborhood pub. (Delicious! They put bacon and cheese on my fries! I win!) I learned the back stories of lots of Phillie's players (good god! No wonder they make trading cards! How do you keep this s#it straight? It was like hearing someone describe a soap opera or an improv set -- but with made-up baseball terms). The bar got louder as the game went longer and everyone got drunker, and then suddenly -- BAM!!!! Phillies to the World Series! The bar explodes! So happy!! Outside, cars start honking. I hear a helicopter.

The helicopter sound continues for the next two hours.

We walk two blocks to my co-worker's friend's row house of spoooky neatness, and then walk to try and catch a bus. Philly is still communicating via happy masculine shouts out of car windows and carhorn-honking. We catch a taxi to the hotel.

I'm still not focusing. Food and coffee. But there's Pennsylvania dutch to feed me. Bring on the scrapple! (..perhaps.)

Wish me luck for tonight. (aghhhh...)

Onward.

Baseball...

..is heart-attack-inducing.

And then they played one of the victory songs from one of the Rocky's.

Seriously.

Tiny little living space...

In the tiniest, little plane! I'm in a single person row! (It's kind of exciting) They 'checked' my carry-on bag at the end of the fly-way... Almost by hand. It's like flying the way our ancestors used to.. ;)

Lindbergh Terminal parking lot was full -- full! The treck to and from the Humphrey was made. If I was 65 and had to walk a half mile through parking ramps, plus then a lightrail trick and a tram, I'd be peeved. However, I'm 32 and have no good excuse.

Onward.

No time for self-reflection! Too busy dancing!

Today was go! Go, chickadee!

Tomorrow I leave for Philadelphia, City of Brotherly Love and the Fresh Prince. I can hope that it's secretly akin to Provincetown (ggggGay!), but alas, I think might be filled with just history and cheesesteak. But that's okay! I've heard good things about Philly.

The travel is for ASTC, conference of scientific debauchery. I can only stay two days, but...

- I have to run a forum.

- I have to find a place for possibly 40 people to eat dinner together.

Jesus.

Jesus!! But these things will be done, and I will board a Continental flight and sleep in a DT Marriott.

And that's about all I know.

I leave from the direct from the Museum tomorrow. Travel blathering soon to follow.

Onward.

Shot out of a gentle cannon...

There picture is of the cemetary where grandpa was buried. Note the loveliness, note the corn. Also note the dark mass behind the tree -- that was the ... What do you call those?... dirt scooper. It felt like it was trying to hide from us...

- We sat on cookie-monster-fur covered chairs, underneath a small blue tent (that was actually marked "Bacon".. I guess the name of the funeral company was Bacon, but it was still odd. My grandpa is/was not bacon). Scripture was read, my aunt and uncle said a few things that still make me want to cry. It was beautiful and sad. But, it's good...

- Hal, somehow related, standing on my right during the service, said the Lord's Prayer with the most beautiful lilt I've ever heard. No one says the Lord Prayer like that...

- You notice strange things. The complimentary kleenex come in plastic wrapper that makes a lot of noise if you try to open it. The wind kept playing with the tent and brushing gold leaves off of the trees. The funeral director, "Rob", was kind of a blowhard.

- Funeral directors! Granted, I've only dealt with two, but they're a bit weird. Rob spent what little conversation we had impressing me with where he was from ("small town in Northeastern Illinois.. Maybe you've heard of it? Chicago?"), impressing me with his madskillz ("my brother said 'Rob, you could play your cello for any large metropolitan orchestra... Why do you choose to do what you do, and why in the middle of nowhere?' "), and both loving and belittling my Grandpa's hometown ("And I told him, I love it here. It's Mayberry, y'know. Out there, it's 2008. Here, it's 1957!"). He also managed to slam where I live ("you live in Mpls? Why? *chuckle*") and fein offense when I called him sir. Gack, Rob...

- Went to my grandpa's cousin's house for cookies, photos and coffee. The men all look vaguely the same, all the women give good hugs. Carol's place is basically on a kind-of farm: this equals cats!! and sileage.

- I had to run away wayyy too soon to make it to Mpls for Stitch n' Bitch -- it went really well! Sad to leave family, both extended and close, so soon...

- Met up with the boy at a lovely party for a lovely man (who shares my bday!) :) Good awesome funny people, killerdiller martini too...!

- Relaxed & enjoyed Sunday morning/afternoon...

- Youth Improv has begun!

- Sunday Stitch n' Bitch went well...

- Onto Stereolab with Kevin...?! Really? But it was wonderful. They were great, my dear friend Greg was there, saw James (guy I took my first improv class with!), and danceddanced to the French...

- I have a crush on the band Beatrix*Jar..

Have I actually been to a Beatrix*Jar concert, own any of their songs? No. But pls google them and admire the cuteness. They're beautiful. I introduced myself based strictly on their marketing. Yes, I love that picture that much. (They play with DanceBand on the 29th or so!!)

- Pizza Luce slice and home...

Normally, weekends don't quite stretch across the experience spectrum that much. But.. I was very lucky, and I feel very loved. And.. sad. And okay. Good. I think.

Onward.

Iiiiiiiooooooooowa o whoa whoa oh whoa iiiioooowa

The drive down was lovely.. it's beautiful down here.. and warmer. Even the grass is changing colors, not just the trees. And.. wind farms. I'm nutty for wind farms. Pretty pretty. I like that a very-familiar landscape is being changed in the most science-fiction seeming, yet hopefully very positive, way. The windmills look more like art or aliens, rather than power plants.

Stopped by my alma mater, Iowa State, on my way to Des Moines...

- They've classed the place up! New branding, new bookstore, new changes to the student union. Iowa State now looks all Big 10 n' shit. Stopped by the M-Shop, and was thrilled to find that it still smelled the same.

- Walked around the horoscope on the floor, saw the campanile (sp?); Ralph Nader decided to come visit Ames at the same time. Weird.

- Ames specializes in a warm, glowing variety of fall.. yum.

- Stopped in the music building, which was like homecoming. Saw three teachers I dug and one I didn't. Saw two music secretaries that I adore. Looked at baby pictures from old classmates - - just lovely.

- Walked back to the student union and purchased my first bit of ISU paraphernalia. Tug at my heart, I will buy your stuff.

Drove the rest of the way to Johnston, Iowa, where the hotel is, about 20 minutes from Maxwell. My grandpa was born in Maxwell, he'll be buried there, when it's warm and the leaves are slipping from green to gold. That's kind of lovely.

- Caught up with my mom, sister, brother in law. Us girls, we all look the same.

- Caught up with my aunt, uncle and two cousins from Cali. My two cousins still share their almost telepathic link: a casual intimacy that sibling-ness and button-pushing usually gets in the way of. I want to wonder at it, but that would be rude (so I'll just do it here).

- 'Ate dinner at a supper club, one that specializes in the three hour meal. We shared stories, caught up (it's been a long time); Uncle Dave brought pictures of Grandpa from about 1913 on... Wow. :)

- Put the Scott side of the family together, and, again, we all look the same. However, the Californian Scotts as a whole are beautiful and just southern-Cali polished. They're also smart, sweet, funny and I'm so damned lucky to know them. As far as relatives go, they should be out of my related-to league. :)

- I ate too much.

- I just learned what HBO plays at 11:30 p.m. on a Friday.. aghhhh!! Really??! Oh, of course really... But I also found "Family Matters". Oh. And "Project Runway". Good lord.

Onward to tomorrow.
Good night.

Friday

There's a really needy maltipoo on my lap -- like really needy. If I don't give him tummy rubs, he might explode.

- Yeaaa, Creature Feature! Did Josh Eakright make me a teary mess? Well, yes of course, but then he spent the rest of the time scaring the bejeezus out of me. Josh was the kid you either really really wanted to play Ghost in the Graveyard with or completely the opposite. Scariest goddamn giant hamster...

- Can I tell you how much I love this damn show? And how I'm am continually amazed/surprised/delighted by the cast? It's all ambrosia n' shit... If only I could stop breaking on stage... (p.s. Survivors were a manic delight... Again!! See above comment and apply it to the Survivors boys...)

- Three people I know/love/respect admitted to reading my blog -- thank u! It's so nice to hear, and makes me very grateful that you put up with, well, me..

- Thank you for all the kind words, hugs and well-wishes regarding my granddad... My heart fills up and I am so grateful and so damned lucky.

Leave for Iowa today. That mix of sad happy thoughts.. When every funeral becomes part celebration of that person and part reunion: all loving and still sad. Which leads me to think:

- We all need to have more goddamn parties. Or host your own funeral every five years or so.. (a fun-eral, if you will..) Let the lost loved ones come out of the woodwork... Guilt your friends on the coasts into invading flyover country. Have your mom meet your dealer. Just saying, my dad would have loved his funeral.

- Must pack! Must slide into car and reacquaint one's self with I-35. I see a bunch of people who look like me in a couple of hours...

(I almost just typed Inward... Well.. Yes that too...)

Onward.

Recovering...

Indeed recovering. And putting off emails I need to write, and things I should be shoulding.

- Six Ring Circus was super fun last night. I approve! It's also just fun to play.. I also discovered the reason as to why I've been tear'd-up-runny-nose-giggly on stage, and that reason's name is Josh Eakright. Josh makes me laugh like I'm having an allergic reaction, and I mean that as an utter compliment. I laugh, my eyes water, my nose runs - - it's like a really really funny kodak commercial. Well played, Mr. Eakright!

- Missed Joshtoberfest... :(

- Got sucked into a quasi-politico debate with really good, smart people. This smarty-pantsing was accompanied and fueled by a questionable amount of beverages.

- Got home around 2 a.m.. Foolish, Jen. But it was a lovely evening though, truly...

- Still figuring out Grandpa's funeral arrangements. Everyone's just waiting, still in hover mode.

- It's not cool having to wear your favorite black dress twice in two years for funerals. It's now my favorite-black-funeral dress. I'd rather not go to a funeral for a while after this. And need to wear the dress to a wedding or a brisque (sp?) or something...

- My sister flies in tomorrow (yea!)

Speaking of tomorrow...

CREATURE FEATURE, Tomorrow (Thursday)! 10 p.m. at the Brave New Workshop!!! Life is too short, and this will be damned funny. Come see me be reduced to a giggly teary snotty mess yet again! Who will be the monster? What will be the monster? Survivors of the Undead Plague open!! Zombie funny too? Damn!!

Onward.

What do you do?

When a funeral is four days away, and you have no family in town? You hover... I was lucky enough to have the day off from work (so lucky! I win!) so I... hovered. A lot.

- got props for the museum*

- ran errands (Target! Trader Joe's!)

- ran unsuccessfully around Lake Calhoun

- dropped my delicious Mini Tin fish sandwich on the cement

- was encouraged by strangers to still eat the sandwich (agreed!)

- wasted hours on the internet

- planted the bulbs that Ellie gave me

- created refrigerator pickled carrots

- lit the recipe on fire by nearby candle

- made black bean stew (no recipe, no fire)

- made spicy cornbread

- halloween'd the porch. My porch is now maybe 10% spooky. The black.. thing behind the pumpkin is a bundle of branches I've had for over a year, now tied together with hemp (thanks, the 90s!!!), and then, today, spray painted black. I tried to make something that, in my mind, suckers would pay $25 for at Pier One. I may have however just made spray-painted branches. No matter.

- distracted myself into a unsatisfied but accomplished frenzy.

Talked to both my sister and my uncle. Looking forward to seeing them both...

Onward.
* there was an honest to god pulpit at the thrift store. $99 for your own take home pulpit! It might light up too....

What you can and can't...

Yesterday's Stitch n' Bitch went great, after a yesterday of little-house-things.

The cast was happily mowing away on nachoes (dear lord, I heart nachoes) and drink tickets and chatter, and my cell phone rang. It was my Uncle Dave. dammit.

My Grandpa Scott passed away last night. He was 95 years old. He had been sleeping a lot (like 18 hours a day?) and had been moved into hospice. I knew he hadn't been doing well, but I didn't know that.

I didn't know what to say to my Uncle except I love you and I'm so sorry. All I could think was how my Uncle lost his only brother (my dad) last year and now his father, and how that was so sad. But I couldn't feel anything myself, and so I walked back into the Bryant Lake Bowl and told the cast.

"...but I don't feel anything right now.." I didn't. This really confused me.

"Well, honey, that's because you're in shock," said my director.

"Oh."

I told them a little about my grandpa's situation and how sad I felt for my uncle. And then my director raised his glass and said, "Well, here's to Grandpa Scott." And I laughed and said, "Dammit, you've made it real." and stepped out to go cry.

So very lucky to be with such good people, and 'have them at the right time, in this situation. Called my mom, who told me about her medical and work stuff, and told me that we could use some good news as she's tired of the bad variety. Then talked to my sister, who just felt incredibly guilty, and cried. My brother-in-law called me, which was an affirmation that I have a brother by marriage now, and it was the nicest thing. After paying up at the BLB, 'drove to Drew's house for some incredibly generous hugs and time. (thank you!!)

Death and getting older and I feel sad and go to Iowa on Friday, probably. I get to see people I love and cry some more. There is no script for this stuff, and there's a strange feeling that we don't know if we're doing it right. So I'll blog about it, my sister will cry, and my mom will worry over the practical.

I love Grandpa Scott and now he's in heaven, hangin' with my dad and my grandma. He saw a lot, and was smart, kind, funny, incredibly generous, softspoken, and short. He wore cardigans and was an excellent golfer. He married a beautiful woman way back in the 30s or so, and had two awesome boys who grew up in the 50s. His hair turned a perfect white sometime in the 70s or 80s, and he always looked dapper as hell. So very lucky to know him.

What a day... I might go run around a lake, or I might just stay in my pjs for a bit. Maybe I'll buy some dogfood for the incredibly needy maltipoo on my left.

Onward.

Sunny Friday Sunny day...

Creature Feature last night... oohhhh... I don't know if there's much that makes me happier. I was a teary snotty mess cuz of funny people (albeit, while onstage). If you missed last night, you've missed "Goblin Shark, Party Beach" (alternatively subtitled "Goblin Shark, Dune Buggy") - - Delight! Don't miss another! Next Thursday at 10 p.m. at the Brave New Workshop, and then at 8 p.m. all following Thursdays through October.

My birthday's coming up soon. Yea, go me. I will be a derivative of 11. That's more than I've ever been. Trying to decide what to do (quiet something? loud something? pizza something?). One of the few things that resonates is to have a cereal party (buy a bunch of cereals, milk, soymilk and invite everyone over. I love cereal! Everyone loves cereal! We all win! However, the looming shadow of the boozecereal hangover gives me the creepies.)

Dang. Travel's expensive. Just sayin'.

Boy goes to France today. I'm super excited for him - - France in the fall has a lovely sound. He will eat croissants and drink coffee!! He will see friends and eat yummy food!! He will be missed...

umumum... The place where I was hiding away has been filled with eating chatty people... Curse their adorableness! I'm sure I had something "important" to say... indeed... foiled again!

Come see Stitch n' Bitch, this Saturday and Sunday at 7 p.m. at the Bryant Lake Bowl! W00t!

Onward. :)

Tuesday Bluesday - - it's fall

Holy hannah, is it fall. Yeaa, fall. The season of my birth. The season of sweaters and jackets. The season before the weather gets asinine. It's almost warm pajama time. Begin!

- Stitch n' Bitch is coming together. W00t w00t! It is fun. :) I am remembering how to drink wine from a box i.e. don't support with your neck, support with your hands. This all sounds incredibly dirty.

- Creature Feature this Thurs at 10 p.m. at the Brave New Workshop!!! Does it get any better?? No, sir, it does not..

Weren't there other things to blog about?

- Ellie invited me over for pudding cake & cake. This was one of the best things ever. Then she also gave me lilly bulbs! Good god! I owe this woman some lasagna.. :)

- Made fried zucchini and spicy tomato sauce yesterday. It was delish. I am super duper proud of my tomato sauce, of all things to be proud of. Zucchini muffins were also made Sunday. I am working against my zucchini phobia.

- Today is speeding by. The lake was ran around, and I stared at some geese. The upside of Canadian Geese upclose: they look like super huggable dinosaurs. The downside: when they look at you, they poop.

- I have the "I want to move to Portland" push again. The economy sucks. My house would probably not sell. I want to move to Portland, for no particular reason except for crush of the place. Greedy greedy Jen.

- Started writing. Yea me. Hoping to write like I jog - - it feels good, and it's an easy distraction (i.e. "I should be painting my ceiling, but... I'll be so healthy if I go jogging." See??) Unlike jogging, writing comes with the secret dream-hidden-bonus of the possibility of people paying you money for the words that come dribbling out of one's head. I like that possibility. (and not painting my ceiling)

- No one's going to pay me for jogging. The only useful thing that other's seem to get out of my jogging is geese poop. And geese poop may not be that useful, honestly.

Stitch n' Bitch opens this Saturday at 7 p.m. at the Bryant Lake Bowl. Come! Come!

Onward.