It caught up with me

I think everything finally caught up with me.

I watch my schedule like a hawk - - check, recheck. Admire it's ship-shap-ed-ness.

However, I didn't recheck the call time of a show that's returning this weekend. I thought my call was 6 p.m.: guess what started at 4:30 p.m.? Guess what I completely missed?

Thank god for awesome stage managers, and amazing ladies willing to step in at a moment's notice.

I try to load my schedule to the brim when work is available. If I miss something, yes, there is free time, but I'm not making money (and I build a flaky reputation. I don't want that any more of that than what comes naturally.) My schedule, like everyone else's, depends on being where you're supposed to be. The first part of success is showing up.

When the somewhat rare occasion happens that I actually miss something, I feel like a failure on so many levels. And it shows that I have been a 'failure' over so many weeks. Emails, attachments, every sort of reminder was there, sent happily to my inbox door. But I thought I had it right.

It sucks when, sometimes, you can't even trust yourself.

So stupid. Really brain dead dumb. Can't make excuses, gotta get with it.

Hoping that I'm haven't actually secretly busted brain cells, that make this sort of mistake possible. (I haven't been partaking in much behavior that would actually do that. Unless, it's been my impressive intake of almonds and water. I now drink a lot of water. I also eat a lot of almonds. I also try to call my mom on a regular basis. I am very boring.)

Perhaps my cat has added something to the air filter. Maybe my house is making me dumb. See where this line of thinking takes us?

Maybe I should just ACTUALLY double-check my calendar, be skeptical of everything I put down there, breathe, and move on.

Everything worked out tonight. The show went on: I'm very lucky.

Onward.