But it's not stress. Not life or death and will the wheat rise and yellow fever and WWII sort of stress.
But it FEELS like stress.
Stupid tired overly news-ed out sort of stress.
Last year, while traveling, our hierarchy of needs got super small. Life became about walking, having toilet paper, staying warm and being able to breath. Things like smelling nice and managing job/creative output/google calendar/congressional reform went straight to the toilet as unimportant.
I am now all comfy. I have a warm shower and the ability to wear clean underwear and can drink the water out of the tap. I have Amazon offering me $5 indie music and as many cute animal videos as a person could stomach.
However, I feel something like stress, bubbling, threatening to boil over my heart and into my stomach. AND WHAT THE HELL?
I know what I need to do, where I need to stop overextending (or feeling like I'm overextending) and where I need to start putting concrete energy and movement. It's just a matter of talking to friends and declaring decisions. And it will all be okay. Probably more than okay.
But there's stress.
I'm considering taking a yoga class which is focused on stress relief and (bwaha) fertility. But I can feel stress bubbling up about committing that amount of time to a.. stress-relief class.
When I think about the future, inevitably a little song pops up in my head. It goes: "As long as the apocalypse doesn't happen".. "As long as we have a banking system that works" "As long as the Republicans continue to be dicks" "As long as we have a shadow government torturing brown people EVERYWHERE" "As long as our veterans go un-helped" "as long as a culture of poverty pervades" oh for fucks sake.
As much as it's my choice to let that song play in my head..
Anywhoo, here's to good friends, and to laughing, and to forgetting about stress. At least for a little bit. For me, I think, as I am happy in a robe with an amazing internet machine in front of me and sun outside the window - - my brain reminds myself to be stressed. Or to be responsible. Or to bear witness. Or to feel bad.
I'll work on stopping those very addictive songs and reminders. I'll work on giving up stress in healthy ways (not through delicious delicious brown liquids, but rather through delicious delicious sweaty yoga classes. And laughter. And cute animal videos. And friends. I'm so very lucky for it all.)
I'll take responsibility for it by acknowledging it and dealing with it. And setting a good example by doing that. And adding to the world instead of sucking off the negative shitspiral that we people like to catch ourselves in.
There's a lot of shitty things to be stressed about. Honest to god really terrible stuff that you maybe can effect, but you probably mostly can't. But you can always try. Or at least turn the conversation to one that's not so fucking hopeless. Cause what is hopeful or hopeless? It's never going to turn out how we think it will, bad or good.. And that's okay.
I get goony happy every time we get out of our own heads. Whether it's improv or setting an intention "for something outside of yourself" in yoga. That's where we need to be. Or, at least, it's a really good start.
Balance.
Right?
Right.
Cool.
Let's do it.
You, dear reader - - You rule. Plus, you put up with a super self-indulgent blog. Holy shit. I owes you.
Onward.
