Thursday, May 28, 2009

Random! All random!

Reposted from Amanda Fucking Palmer's blog, who is, not only a musician, but a very smart lady.

The Boston Conservatory

Dr. Karl Paulnack’s Welcome Address to parents of incoming students, September 2004

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician… I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated… I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school. She said, “You’re wasting your SAT scores!” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they loved music: they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite… Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

One of the first cultures to articulate how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you: the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner-of-war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture — why would anyone bother with music? And yet even from the concentration camps we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

In September of 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. On the morning of September 12, 2001 I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, on the very evening of September 11th, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang “We Shall Overcome.” Lots of people sang “America the Beautiful.” The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pastime. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece “Adagio for Strings.” If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie “Platoon,” a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

Very few of you have ever been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but with few exceptions there is some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings-people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks. Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in a small Mid-western town a few years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier. Even in his 70’s it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute cords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. The concert in the nursing home was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this: “If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at 2 AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

“You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

“Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music, I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”



There's nothing I can add to this, but just beam happy in my Liberal Arts & Science goo. I believe this stuff. I love this stuff. I'm not saying that I'm privy or capable of his marching orders by any means (I'm a pretty craptastic musician - - both capable and generally unpracticed. And to those who are the capable and the Earth saving, I say thank you!), but the whole article just resonates with goodness for me. Neat.

I'm making little felt bear paw prints for an upcoming Museum show. I am one with the hot glue gun and some felt.

Besides that..

DID YOU KNOW, that a vagina is actually a very acidic environment, while men's pHs are more basic? Neither did I!! I learned stuff today!! From a doctor who told me these things!! I sort of like the idea of vaginas' being all self-protecting and acidic and.. um.. weird. It makes sense, but I'll still wonder at the "oooooh, science!" of it all.. and wonder what in our evolution spawned such developments.

I also learned chemistry is not only the ooga-booga-kissy-kissy chemistry, but that your body's very chemistry can lay havoc on another person's. Interesting, no? Treacherous, yes?

There is no theme to this blog. It is only set on shuffle.

Onward.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

From yesterday, before today...

Just did a show for seven 18 year old girls from North Bend, NE. They ruled. My irony for the day: the Plain states make for pretty people.

Just watched the trailer for the upcoming Sherlock Holmes, featuring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law standing very close in jaunty caps. Having just watched my first episodes of "House", will Robert Downey Jr. be channeling his inner Hugh Laurie? Is Jude Law's beard spirit-gummed on? I feel so. Yes.

Week off from the museum has been completed. It was as almost as busy as a week with the museum, but busy with relaxing things. Like Southern California! Helloooo, San Diego!

- We stayed at PBau's sister's place, which is in Ocean Beach, a neighborhood in San Diego. It's like Uptown, if Uptown was stubbornly non-corporate, and if most of our panhandlers were in their 20s. It's filled with dogs and long boarders, sand and tortilla-based foods. Coffee and beer, hamburgers and fish tacos. Everyone's tan.

- A lot of people don't neuter their puppies in the O.B.. This makes for unwanted puppies and that's sad. Listen to Bob Barker! Holy crap!

- Ocean Beach is referred to as the O.B., as opposed to the P.B. (Pacific Beach!) North Hollywood has become NoHo ("An Artist's Quarter") More awkward anagrams! Delightful!

- I drive in L.A. rush hour, which was actually less frustrating than Twin Cities happy hour. I can justify L.A.'s happy hour. Twin Cities, less so.

- Get to see Liz and Burk and Miles and Lydia for a total sum of 5 minutes. AGHH! But it was wonderful. Miles greets PBau with ninja posturing, eventually asking him, "Could you spread your legs?", which is the slyest of ninja methods for delivering a crotch shot. PBau wisely refuses.

- L.A. is filled with donut shops. I bristle with jealousy.

- PBau does an open mic (awesome!) hosted by the excellent Mr. Jeff Hopkins. We then go track down a Fatburger, directions courtesy of the waitress from Chicago, working at the Kansas City BBQ joint.

- We headed to the beach and jumped through waves on our last day, and realized we should have been in the water every day we were there. Granted, some of the days weren't warm enough to allow for that, but.. ah well.

- I actually get to hear someone say, "Do you want to talk or do you want to surf?" Yes!

- While in California, filled with happy cool ocean humidity, my hair embraces its inner scamp and I become curly haired. Like Downey Jr. & Law, all I need is a pair of suspenders and a jaunty cap.

- I realized that Chik o Stik are some of the most delicious candies ever. Peanut butter and coconut? Why haven't I been eating Chik o Stiks regularly?! I am a fool!

Got back to Mpls and the rest of the week was spent waking up very slowly and working on the yard. I now have another flower bed! Win!

Back to reality, and busy-ness starts up fairly quickly..

And now comes that time in the year where I question all that I do to make a living. Wonder if it should change, and if I should have some actual direction. Feeling very lucky and blessed to do what I do, and I love what I do.. but realizing I've done these things for a fairly long time. I will compensate for this feeling of unknowing and emptiness by eating some candy mix. (please see above Chik o Stik reference)... (I also have some cherry balls.. this is awesome.)

Onward.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Nice works, you Grecians you...

Yes. Full of delicious Greek food! Still!!

- Grumble. There is a show at the museum that has gone from "ehhh" to soulsucking. Granted, 10 minutes is NOT a long time to have your soul sucked, but one certainly doesn't want to have to look forward to it twice a day. Alas. Stop complainin', do yer job, it's a good job -- even when it sucks (like any job, I 'spose).

- (Soul healed by group of awesome 8th graders. *sigh* Thank you, 8th graders of Black Hawk or wherever you are from. You are all aces. Thank you.)

- Got dropped off in Uptown, and walked my butt four miles to Southwest High School for Yoga. A beautiful day, a lovely walk. The only awkward part of walking through Uptown is other Uptowners.

- I am a happy yogi'd sweaty mess. Jim picks me up!!! I win!!!

- We go to Christos. oooohhhhh, Christos. I worked there for 3 weeks once. They are wonderful. They are also insanely detailed oriented. I had forgotten.

- I eat every indulgent thing: grape leaves (dolmathes), hummus, mousaka and baklava - - Jim gets an Arnie Palmer and the chicken livers. So much winning!

- Was told that "It's okay that you forget everything. You're like me." Oh god.. I do forget everything! I am a good booklearner, an okay kinesthetic learner, and a pretty astute visual learner - - you ask me to remember most things aurally, my brain breaks. *sigh* This is not cool. I'm too young to blame it on senility.

- Chitter with friends afterwards. They decide to have a bbq - - today. Not two weeks out. Just, you know, today. You can do this? Not have to plan ahead two weeks and request time off? This is a crazy notion, but I think I like it.

More stuff! Onto a haircut and the weekend... and then, crazy!

Onward.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Whattayamean?

Busy tizzy week. No slow, but some sleep.

- I got to work on my yard. To me, this means I actually had some time. I need to dust and clean and finish the inside of my house, but to me, summer means it's time to fix the outside of my house. My yard is kickin'. I want to make it more kickin'. All worries about home ownership and living in debt seem to fly out the door when my yard looks good. This can't be healthy.

- I'm gonna apply for a loan to get the outside of my house and garage worked on, basically paint & gutters. And you can too!

- The dog got a haircut. The dog and I tend to get haircuts on the same schedule. They also seem to cost about the same.

- Lycopodium training at the museum!!! Not only is it fun to say (li-coh-po-dee-um), it is a moss spore, it is yellow, and when it's surface area is spread out, it's combustible! Makin' fireballs at the museum! The Fire Marshall had to come by and okay it all, but then got kind of excited actually seeing the poofball of fire. Neat.

- Teachin' and museum and teachin' and museum and.. I am very boring.

- It's beautiful out. Thanks, May. Nice work.

Family visiting starts soon. I am basically packed. Tomorrow involves some more work (just like Saturday does), but Friday gets the added bonus of haircut! Maybe I will make them fix my eyebrows! The world trembles!

Onward.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Weekend done! Please let me mulch...

All in all.. it's done.

Saturday involved performing at "Women Stand Up!", a women-oriented (which just feels strange to type) performance venue. And indeed, Heidi and I performed her sketches. They were well-received. Yea, us!!

I got to do a face plant into a piece of cake. This made me super, unnecessarily, proud. Most of the time, when I've performed sketch comedy, it's been with boys. Boys tend to do the grotesque stuff themselves. However, it turns out, the grotesque stuff is kinda f-in' fun. Yes, it looks like I had poopy face. Yes, cake got in my nose. But it was a well-executed cake plant. I am stupidly proud.

Sunday was DREEEEEEAMY! NO PLANS. NO HAVE TOs. Just hangin'. This tends to only happen if I remove myself from the state. But, no!! Thank you, Mother's Day, for a completely empty day. I think I want more.

The "Cars with <3" commercial I taped with the lovely Mikael Rudolph will start to be broadcast soon. It's really really over the top cheesy... on purpose. I can't look at it, as my brain explodes, but it's really silly, hopefully in a good way. Mikael is awesome in it, by the by. Let us be a part of your society still, please.\

Onward to teach and the rest of the week.

Onward.

Friday, May 08, 2009

I wanna hide..

ahhh... Thursday was completed, and it was good!!! It was about a 15 hour day (honestly, 8:40 a.m. - 12 mid), most of which was spent talking to/or at people. Now, I don't really want to talk anymore. The idea of small talk gives me the barfies. However, this is a very greedy impulse, as Thursday was actually great. I'm just very tired.

MORNING - You 26 eighth graders - - well done! You made 9 a.m. improv fun! And you didn't hit each other or make out or anything. Thank you!

- You also called me a "cougar" for the first time in my life. It was a joke, but I actually tried to defend myself. Touche', clever eighth graders.. :)

AFTERNOON - You one sixth grader at one of my museum shows - - you kinda blew. No offense. Someday, you'll learn to listen. Luckily, I don't have to be there for it. Good luck at Prom.

EVENING - You 137 sixth graders from Thief River Falls in a strange hotel in Wayzata. YOU EACH RULE. I was passed orange Pez. I got told jokes ("Why do gorillas have such big fingers? Because they have such big nostrils!!" Bwaha! Yes, and unexpected from a sixth grade girl. I hope we would have hung out if I was also 12.) You were all super nice and willing to put up with some adults and some Party Quirks. Awesome!! Thank you!!

BEDTIME - You awesome people who came to Ka-Baam!! last night - - THANK YOU! :) (and, you all were not middle school aged! This was amazing, as opposed to all the rest of yesterday.) It may have been the sweetest ending we've ever performed. I was just thrilled to be Mr. Ritchie's cat - - who doesn't want to be a cat for about a half hour? (You just look haughty and clean yourself every once in a while. Bat at sparkly shit. Not talk. Fight sentient gorillas. It's actually very relaxing.)

POST BEDTIME - Oh god. I'm actually sore. I threw my back out playing.. something. Take that back? I may be getting to old for this. Sleep the sleep of the weary. Be thankful for getting spoiled.

GOOD MORNING - Do it again! (But only for five hours. And no teaching. Yea.)

What shall the weekend hold? Hopefully some relaxing. Hopefully some not doing much. (Working tomorrow afternoon, Women Stand Up at 10 p.m. on Saturday, and then the hopefully open field of Mother's Day... Cross fingers, y'all...)

Onward.

P.S. Baby Lennes has been born!!!!! She is a girl and mom and baby are healthy and YEAAAA!!! :) BABIES, PEOPLE!!! :)

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Sometimes you get a granola bar, sometimes you get cake...

Yea, cake! Actually, a theme of cake has been set.. let's explore..

- I just received some cake. (Yea for the museum! It, the cake, is delicious)

- I will be eating some cake at Women Stand Up at the Bryant Lake Bowl this Saturday 10 p.m.. My friend Heidi Fellner wrote some lovely sketches - - I get to eat cake in one of them.

- Uh. Cake!!!!
























- I keep looking to my calendar, expecting to see more.. or less.. something entertaining.. Something to make sense of it all. But alas, no. I've just been relatively busy.

- Adorable performed at "A Splendid Evening with Splendid Things" last Monday. Ahhh, it felt so good to get the weird back on. Yum. Our shared set with Splendid ended with a beautiful narrative by Mr. Ritchie, featuring Eric and Hannah as an upper crust, McSweeney's-reading, barren couple, surrounded by a hunter (Josh), a bird (Butch), and a frog (me). Of course, we were the hunter and the evil animals. Yes. Thank you to all who came!! YEAA!!

- Ka-Baam!! ka-baams tonight! Yea!! 10 p.m. Bryant Lake Bowl. I hope I make it. (There is the risk of not making it to the show tonight, as there are 137 6th graders to entertain. Hrm.)

- MORE BABIES!!! INDEED, Minneapolis!!! More dear friends are having or are shortly to have babies!! I got to hang out with a baby this last weekend, with was awesome. Happy Mother's Day, peeps...

-Boss-induced-time-off from the museum is coming. Going to visit my cousin, who has had the first baby of my first cousin's (you know, all four of them) generation. Go, gene pool, go!!

It's time for some food, some coffee, and then staring into the dead eyes of 137 6th graders.

Onward.