What the?

I got my first Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail. I didn't order it. It just showed up. I thought this only happened to boys.

Even though, I guess, I'm its intended target (i.e. a girl who wears underwear), I can't separate the catalog from what I perceive its intended target to be (i.e. boys who like looking at girls in underwear... pouting.. or looking really happy.. or more pouting.. or looking 15.. aghhh!)

I've tried to look at it from the "They're supposed to sell good sweaters" vantage point, but it doesn't help. It's summer, there are no sweaters, and their underwear is crap. (Ask most girls. VS underwear falls apart. Not in that sexy way, but rather in that "I paid $34 for a bra three months ago way")

I don't know what to do with this magazine. My urge is to keep it in the bathroom, as that's where I've seen Victoria's Secret catalogs mostly stored - - mostly in guy's places. I generally don't see VS catalogs in girl's places.

I feel like someone's trying to out me.

"Sexy little bride" underwear? It actually says "sexy LITTLE bride" - - aghhh! Is the bride marrying a 40 year old? There seems to be a bevy of hand mirrors in the creepy wedding section. Are hand mirrors sexy? One teddy in the wedding section, is actually just an apron with lace on it... aghhh!!! (granted, this would be kinda cool if it was done in an ironic way. i.e. I was born in 1975. However, I don't think there's much irony running through the brains of a VS marketing exec.)

I think this will end up in the recycling bin. This is unlike the Consumer Reports that arrive a week ago. Dangit. Typing that sentence made me feel incredibly unsexy, but maybe knowing what refrigerator is most energy-effecient is sexy to someone.

Anywhoo, I'm gonna do something empowering like exercise, wear my own damn cute underwear, and treat myself like a girl, and hopefully come out smelling like roses - - sexy roses, not creepy quasi-porn boudouire stank.

Or I might just be getting old. And that's okay too.

Onward.