In places..

In places where I'm not able to communicate clearly (which happens in travel or, weirdly, when visiting home), I tend to fall back on old habits i.e. writing.


Writing is awesome because I can say smart things almost exactly how I'd like to have them said in my head and almost everyone might know what I'm saying.


Writing is dangerous as I don't want to go back to being dependent upon it and it only. I like talking to people, sometimes on stage, sometimes as a character. That's good!


I just watched two trailers and instantly became a teary mess.


My brain can't handle it. The images are too much. I know what's happening here. It's beautiful and I never thought I'd be lucky enough to even see a (made-up moving) picture like it. 


Here's the link to the "Cloud Atlas" trailer. 


Here's the link to the "Life of Pi" trailer. 

>
Here's some really amazing pictures of the cast of "Community". (these didn't make me cry, but did make me feel better.)


If my self-destructive streak was bigger, I'd just put the trailer to "Beasts of the Southern Wild" on repeat.. whoop. Just watched it. Excuse me... 


Onward. 

NW Iowa...

My grandpa Rauch turned 96 yesterday. 96! He's mentally still grandpa Rauch, even if his physical therapist told him on his birthday that he's going to be in pain for the rest of his life. That's what physical therapists do, which is why physical therapists are crazy brave to say such things.

Getting old is not easy. I say this as a springchicken of 36. Your hands shake and your balance runs away and it's fucking hard to eat nachos. (He had nachos for lunch! I had the Indian taco. We went to a bar in the Yankton mall, as it has tall chairs - - short chairs are now hard to get up from. All of the staff knew him and talked to him for a bit.)

He lives in the oldest house in Yankton with his girlfriend Pam. Pam's garden (granted, she's maybe 89) is full of really really yummy things, like corn, kolrabi, beans, dill, cucumbers.. She makes things grow and then bakes pies. She also plays video casino and realizes this aging thing is sort of a crock. She doesn't want to go into the hospital again.

We're worried about my grandpa's dog and one of Pam's great nephews. We're worried that he might have hurt the dog (Grandpa says that he did), and mom's worried that he might try and hurt Pam and Grandpa. Mom has told Grandpa and Pam how she thinks they should proceed, but.. it's not really up to her. These are not comforting thoughts as one drives away.

I'm going to read this book.

We drove through some of my favorite landscape/countryside in the world. Northeastern Nebraska, right under the very tip of southeastern South Dakota, is beautiful. It's made to reflect the sun. The hills are rolly and green and the sky is big and blue and the wind blows. Perfect green hills shaping big blue sky. I want to take everyone there, even just to drive through it.

Double bonus: the place where the Missouri crosses over from South Dakota to Nebraska is stunning. The river is HUGE at that point, maybe a half mile across, and is cut up with sandbars and birds. Secrets!

I have eaten birthday cake and ice cream and a little more ice cream and corn and bbq and steak and ground chuck and many many things I don't eat in general - - but this is like summer thanksgiving in a way. Very very lucky to be here eating all of it.

My mom has become, without really planning on it, the healthiest eater on the planet - - no fried things (although she loves them), no salt, as little fat as possible. She looks amazing, and many of her clothes are too big.

She's having so work done to the house, which is great, and means young strapping Iowans in t-shirts and backhoes come and politely move paving stones around. Bill Bryson might be right - - Iowans might start off pretty, and just get weird looking as we age. (We are a weird looking but incredibly friendly bunch. We like you!)

Sophie the awesome schnauzer is also getting old. She's pretty deaf (she can hear loud sharp noises) and blind and jumps when touched. But if she goes for a walk, she's all smiles and just thrilled. Man...

Onward.