The non-art of feeling all the things

I know it's part of the human condition, feeling more than one emotion at a time. Or, really, all the time.

Or perhaps it's more part of becoming an adult.

 - I'm so grateful for it all...
 - I'm so scared.
 - I'm so happy (when glimpses of something that might be seen as positive.)
 - I'm so sad (so sad this is happening, so sad for him, so sad for us).
 - I'm so tired.

Really. Just very tired.

I'll come back for rounds tomorrow, and hang out. My ability to speak and spell drains away.. there is no autocorrect that can translate it all.

I don't know when and what to eat. I know logically, and so, that's what I've set myself up for. And I do that. But.. not having an appetite is weird. (Unless cake is involved. I'm pretty sure that I always want cake.)

Sleep is a big hammery anvil that swings it's way down onto me. I hate it when it misses. Lately, it rarely does.

I double check my things. Keys, phone, cords, water.. every little bit. I don't trust my ability to track. There's not much to be done (which makes things like playing with the two year old weirdly easy and fun.. There's not much more to think of.)

Feeling all the things. And mostly, just tired.