Success!! ... and the politics of aging (not about politics)

I am in a bar, rife with plug ins and wifi -- thanks, Psycho Suzi's!!

There are parts I kinda like about being an "adult". I like the fact that I can go into a bar by myself and not feel like a complete farty pants (that took about 11 years of being legal.) I like that when I complete important-ish things, I can pride myself in my grown-up-ness. I like that I will have to be reincarnated to experience puberty/my 20s again. However, there is a price for all this adultness. And it's called 'aging'.

I'm finding that, for me, it's happening incrementally. Yesterday, I pulled back my hair line to find two little red dots on my scalp. Old lady dots. eww. I also now have something that might be considered a 'laugh line', but is truly a 'laugh dent'. This laugh dent did not exist six months ago. Hellooooo, aging.

I don't like it, necessarily, but it's weirdly fascinating. And obsessive. And yet easy to forget about until you look in the mirror and you're carrying a walker. It's like puberty, but weird-and-not-as-exciting puberty.

When does it stop being novel and new? When are you surprised at the parts of yourself that are still young-ish instead "whoa, another grey hair" or "jezus. Why would god force aging humans to develop hair there???" Is there a turning point, or a cliff one might fall off?

So.. yes. Body's doing things it's never done before... secret small old lady things. Like desiring to wear rosewater. And collect aprons, cats, and small yippy dogs. Don't make me too old just yet, please.

Okay. Onward onto the end of the day and the beginning of the night. I drove home in sunshine! yeaaa!!! I'm gonna finish my work, my beer, go exercise, and then go watch some funny. Yea!!!

...onward.

P.S. I am unimpressed by your ability to burp. Sorry. Sad but true, bike messenger girl. And I like bike messenger girls, they kick ass... merr. Pls. see above post about getting old. gack.

Tuckered... Tuckered.

Thursday!!

Final (?) Bingo show for me, but at the Rivercenter for an Insurance co. Whew. They were actually quite nice, and as Anne said, "That could have been much worse."

Then up to Anoka, where I divulged my myspace for better or worse. (they asked, I told)

Then to the BLB for our last "Our Vanya, Ourselves" performance. Funnnn!!! And yea for Jim and Dennis coming to see it!

Then to Leaning Tower for lovely toothy talk and cheesy bread.

Then to Red Dragon to meet with people near (but soon to be far) and dear.

Looking at Mpls thru the perspective lens has been good, if only to help to appreciate the good stuff. I.e. did I think I wld of ever met you? And you rock, so -- thanks Mpls! This is sanding down the edges of my hating-self a bit. Also, it took this long for me to resign myself to this winter. Here's a piece of my soul, winter, I give up. I hope this means you actually might end soon.

I think I get to view me some Neutrino tonight, and hopefully also gab with some lovely people. First, off to the Museum and seeing if I can make my mortgage payment.

Onward...!

Oh duh.. And here's picts!

Ignore.. Photos to come soon.

Thank you, table runner!

I'm stinkin' up the house with jen-ness. I wish to have a party so people can say 'how... innteresting' and be glad they don't live here. Well... You know. Hanging up things you bought is chancey. Some parts of the house now feel empty. Others are either 'cozy' or cluttered... We'll see how this goes...

Woke up with my now-regular morning attitude of emo. I emo'd all over the museum. I wrote some poetry. I played a poor woman trapped by the nazi party. All this emo-ing was happily interrupted by joe, steph and learning a puppet dance.

Then to the Old Log (i like me some Old Log folks), to Target for milk and said table runner, and finally to home, where I DID stuff.

Grump grump. Don't listen to NPR if you want good news, grump grump. Gotta figure out a way to be the person making $$ when recession things hit, instead of being the onr under the 'recession's' big toe.

Onward.

I will never take windows for granted again...

Errr... Not the operating system, although someday i'm sure I'll be eating those words and missing windows xp too....

*** I like the way New Zealanders say "yes".... Yeys.

*** Car window got fixed at 7 am this morning. I ate granola at a near by coffee shop, through a series of coffee shop-related misadventures (cards won't work! spoiled half and half! oh... A sitcom's worth of a morning)

*** Science Museum was fun, and that was nice.

*** Visited my old job -- they're doin' good, and that's nice too.

*** Ate half a pastrami sandwich for lunch. It made me fall asleep.

*** Yoga class... (which was good. Roaming the halls Fred Beukema used to roam..) :)

*** Had a lovely dinner! Lovely! Yeys. :)

*** Morning's are hard. It's just the way of mornings...although in the moment of mornings, it doesn't feel that nonchalant.

*** Now covered in as many covers and pajamas as I can muster.

*** Blog full of not much at all...

..onward.

I'm just so thrilled...

To be on a wifi internet connection in front of my laptop... mrrrr... welcome home. (which is silly, ridiculous and true)

- Had breakfast at Herkimer's. It was tasty and fine and food-full.

- I'm also shopping at the iTunes shop right now... AGHHH... so happy....

- I've been purging around the house. Getting rid of stuff and organizing. There is hope for the basement, and, for that, I'm so excited.

- My sad little car has a plastic bag attached to it's window. It gets it's braces/retainer/plastic bag off tomorrow at the Car Window Doctor tomorrow.

- I told someone that my car got broken into in Uptown, and yet the look of "how can you live there" came when I told them I lived in North Minneapolis. jesus.

- My sister asked me "do you want to live in a cold Detroit!?" which makes me laugh. No, I know Mpls is not a 'cold Detroit', but I'm a bit of a hater.

- The BNW's cafe is open!! This is AWESOME!!! I am indulging and sitting with my laptop in an empty room with good people puttering a wall's worth of distance away and listening to the Current being piped in from the next room. This is where life is good.

- Despite my drama, the party was so nice last night. Everyone looked so nice. Everyone was so happy and look how grown up we are (!?! it's true!) Lovely stuff. :)

- The teens arrive in the next 10 minutes or so. I am glad of that. They are good. I hope they kick my a$$ back into reality, in a very good and positive way. Not that they have to have that responsibility, but a little escapism might be nice. :)

- Onward.

the world is full of a$$holes...

And then you realize that you're one of them.

*** Weird day. Never seemed quite real.

*** "We Gotta Bingo" officially closes Mar. 1st -- so soon. But not unexpected. Such a great group of people... Did a later show, played the punk girl, it went just fine

*** Stopped by the Workshop to say hi (such good people!) I am filled with delight, which includes some good news... Am filled with 'oh noooooo' for poor Harry. Pls see above 'people are a$$holes'

*** My car got broken into, while at the Workshop, on 26th and Hennepin. As Mike said, which made me (fellow Northsider) smile, "your car got broken into HERE?!" Despite the a$$iness of the situation, there were so many blessings of what did happen instead of what could have, it's not even funny (i wish they hadn't taken my jeans though.. :( ). And it did make me realize the ginormous chip I've been carrying around on my shoulder. Seeing this happen almost felt like justification for the way I've been feeling lately. And having that justified almost felt good. And that's a pretty shitty way to be, looking for the crap in life to confirm your own drama. So I need to knock that off. I almost feel like I brought this down on myself (i know I didn't)...so. Yes. People are a$$holes, but I should stop expecting them to be. And Mpls is only as crappy as you feel that day, just like every other place on earth.

***f&#kers didn't get my wallet. That's so lucky and pretty awesome.

***I'm finally not hungry. I haven't stopped eating all day. This kind of shook it put of me.

*** i'll need to figure out tomorrow tomorrow.

*** onward.

You crazy Mt. Doom...

Indeed! It's a bit odd doing a twenty-five minute show, waiting two weeks, and doing it again. But we did it! It was so much fun to watch these awesome ladies and a gent whoop up on the funny. And interesting to play for an audience who knew their Chekhov, where I as one of the performers do not. But couldn't ask for a better laughing audience... So lucky..

*** The extended LOTR are so much better than the movie cuts. This is what is on inbetween what Netflix sends... Ridiculous, but very good... Oh you crazy dwarf...(why must everyone sing?... Still, I'm a sucker..)

*** Movement is afoot and what keeps me from getting.. well.. emo. If I can keep perspective just in general, that'd be lovely and fine...

*** I don't have to work until12noon tomorrow.. How awesome is that..?

***...onward.

It's that time....

Oh man...it's that time of half a century... People I love are writing tributes to this place. Which puts one in a sentimental mood... Hello, indulgence...

***I've been working for this particular locale since Jan. 1999, hired by Robyn Hart to work the box office at Kieren's/Flanagan's Wake. Because of that job, I took my first improv class (under the dreamy Matt Craig). Pls know...it's a place that will break your heart if you let it. But... also.....

*** almost every important relationship since the age of 22 that I've been lucky enough to be a part of has directly/indirectly come from being involved with this place. Strange to say but true!

*** It gave me mentors (Jenni being the first example, followed by many more)

*** it took a chance, & let me teach

*** it introduced me to being a performer

*** it taught me to be myself & be ok with that.

***it taught me some bravery, and made me laugh til I cried over & over again....

*** I am who I am and do what I do because of this place. And that's something. It'll break your heart... But it's worth it, for those you'll meet & what you'll do. Crazy, indeed.

*** ... And this place I'm talking about is-- the Green Mill. (nononononono) See you guys at the party!! :)

*** I'm at the BLB tomorrow night spoofing Russian Lit and 80's sitcoms at 7pm. Also, cottage cheese is insanely delicious.

*** onward.

a wednesday... (plus a moon!)

Added to my 'interests': Ben and Jerry's Smores Ice Cream. It was so nice of them to create my own personal crack in a can.

*** Had brush up rehearsal for the Ministry of Cultural Warfare (the Golden Girls/Chekhov piece...This Friday and next Thurs at the BLB). We have officially tickled each other.

*** Had a good talk today. I needed it.

*** I painted some roomage. And watched some LOTR. The geeky life of those sans cable.

*** Tomorrow is busy but good (cross fingers). *** Onward...!

well... what do YOU want to do with your life?

These were around the realm of thoughts I woke up with this morning. jesus. I'm ready to move....

*** i'm doing another spring nazi play. When I worked for the Old Gem, every spring we got to do a 'nazi' play (anne frank... number the stars, etc), as that's what sold to 4-6th graders. The Science Museum is providing me with a chance revisit this time period. Luckily, with some really amazing people, which helps to handle the stupid horrible nazis. This time I get to play one of those stupid and horrible nazis.

*** My friend Sue and I spent an obnoxious amount of time in a Valu Thrift Store. Hours of strange delightful entertainment, literally...

*** Got a copy of the first volume of 'Persepolis' at the thrift store -- you are welcome to borrow/have it. It is welldone, sad and fine.

*** Got food and drink with a very generous friend Harry. I happily owe the man a meal, conversation and time.... :)

*** um. so. What do you want to do with your life? It feels like time to figure that out again... I'm almost these thoughts never stop, but just get put on hold for little bits.

*** Time to exercise and do laundry. I BOUGHT PAINT TODAY! whoop!

*** .... onward (in new thrift store-y duds)

let's see what happens...

Having trouble posting.... Bah. This weekend has actually been chockablock.

*** saw a guy get waterboarded. :( I will post the whole thing later, but...it's scary. It sucks.

*** saw my sister and brother in law. This was all sorts of awesome. We ate breakfast at the Red Stag, Kay flatironed my hair, good stuff...

*** Davey and I performed twice! Once with our mortal frenemies, Rampleseed. Delightful!....we said the word dick alot....

*** 6th-8th graders performed twice. They were awesome and dang appropriate.

*** I took a dog cat filled nap.

*** karaoke!!! Was amazed at friends' feats of impressive singing. I sang b52s -- it was aerobic.

***so looking forward to soon. Soon being June or sooner...

*** maybe this will post... Onward!

ah, 6th graders.. I hardly knew ye..

ohhhh...hewwww.... 6th grade. if your kid can grow up and somehow miss 6th grade, i'd probably recommend it. However, they'd miss one of the most unfair and yet most equalizing moments of of our western life.....

* Rod likes Carrie. You know this, 'cause when Carrie walks in the room, Rod declares "you can braid Carrie's leg hair!"... Carrie's cool enough to ignore this. You know it's real, however, when Rod declares "you can braid MY leg hair!" during warm ups.

* I want to tell the boys that girls will respond to conversation and listening, not to tackling. I also want to tell the girl's NEVER GIVE UP or something vague and inspirational, cuz high school is coming, and that cld be dangerous.

* Playing the short game "dear diary" with 6th graders, we've gotten suggestions such as Harriet Tubman and Anne Frank....sigh. Funny. Horrible, but funny.

* I kinda have a voice now... I hope it hangs around. I have yoga and wish I didn't drink that fruit smoothie thingie. onward!

life via tiny screen

let's see... i've been writing these tiny blogs on a tiny keyboard... and my friend Rick sez it makes my blog's type really! tiny... really? this sort of makes me giggle.

* day was usurped by a friend's call to watch her youngest, while she takes her oldest to the hospital... said youngest kid was a delight, despite her ability to produce and disseminate fecal matter at an alarming scale. geeeeez.

* I am almost fully voiced. i'm so excited!

* I need printer cartridges and a little bit of time

* yea for improv a go go's, trying new things and bein' dark without really meanin' to.

* yea for bni teen rehearsal.

* yea for being sleepy enough for bed and home -- all at the same time.

* onward.

recovering baby...

So many interesting things coming out of my head orifices... blech. I'm feeling a bit crispy... I think I'm almost done with being sick! (pls pls pls)

* show opened! I'm in the Ministry of Cultural Warfare's production of "Our Vanya, Ourselves" at the BLB. It's a Chekhov/Golden Girls crossover. It's a blast. I love me some Ministry peeps, and food afterwards was excellent! (my voice was almost there... I was the toadiest of southern belles..eech.)

* I tried to give pickles a haircut.. I did pretty good! however, there's a swath along his backside of rastafarian puppy..i.e. he looks even more the freak/half-shorn sheep... i'm sorry, puppy! it's like a puppy mullet -- business in the front, party in the back

* turning up the temperature on my hot water heater was possibly the best thing ever.

*hoping to do things that seemed way too hard earlier this week. onward...!

let's see if I can do this....

... so far, so good....

* I am sick like a puppy. I have a voice like wounded gravel. My legs are cooking under an electric blanket literally set to 11.

* I relit my water heater's pilot light today! Home ownership!!

* I am lucky to have the world's best pets watching over me

* Going to try and make 2008 full of adventure... adventure dammit! Watch out! First, however, there's some poo I need to take care of... But there will be -- adventure!

* ...onward. Hopefully to health.

and then it ate my post....

Typing on an incredibly tiny keyboard sucks goats. anywhoo..blog rewritten..

* I'm on the floor of the science museum.. it oddly offers more privacy than at my cubicle

* I got to pretend that I was a documentary producer this morning..or at least a PA. That was fun. :)

* I tripped today. It was a full face plant of awesome (I am a little impressed, and glad that it was just for me.)

* I know everyone deals with it, but I've got the post-really-happy-blues. Things are good and fine here, but this last weekend was soo good to me and spoiled me silly, and so-- I'm missing every little bit of it. So, I'm lucky and things are good here, but I'd rather be elsewheres with elsethings and elsepeople.

* I may not be cut out for homeschoolers. This sort of sucks. Apologies, all.

* I'm broke. But that's ok.

* Ilm in a show in the Chekhov festival called "Our Vanya, Ourselves". If you like the Golden Girls, you will like this show.

* Soon, my house will have a blue room in it. This is exciting! As soon as I can afford paint.

* my dog needs a haircut (which sounds like a creepy euphemism but isn't) and I think I'll get my tarot read cuz friend Chris offered.

Onward!