Wednesday, December 09, 2009

What can you say..

I need to get up and create a driveway. But..

- Hot Yoga again! This time I dressed appropriately, brought water, and survived! Perhaps not the mindblowing experience of last time, but delicious!

- Tried Yoga Sculpt. It was a poor decision, although I may go again. (pleasepleaseplease let not the 23 year old yoga instructor think that the classics station is perfect background for body rock. Jon Bon Jovi, unless drunkenly sung at a wedding, is nasty.)

- "Yoga Sculpt" handed my ass to me. Ow.

- This studio (I feel like a tool saying studio) is not about happy-making yoga. This is get-fit-and-talk-about-your-abs yoga. I like the exercise, but miss the happy-making yoga. I will go on search for happy-making yoga. Until then, my "abs" feel super special.

- It's such a weird mix of people. There's people who look like me, then there's suburban housewives, there's generally two business men, and then there's people who are probably fire dancers and models in their real life. (The firedancers and models come to class in dreads, earrings and little else. Amongst the suburban housewives dressed in Calvin Klein yoga gear. Fascinating!)

Beyond that...

- I've gone to some auditions, I've taught, I've worked, I've seen some lovely people..

- Spiked opened! Delightful! Again, secret code of "Santa" gets you discounted tickets, yes. :)

- I've been basically circling. Not really getting anything done - - just maintaining. My house is basically clean (even if it needs repair), my laundry is kinda clean (it's folded!), the dishes are kinda clean, the pets are basically healthy (gotta dope Pickles' ears).. Maintain maintain. Anything new or created? Not so much. ... Except for my 2009 Xmas mix, which doesn't really count. If you would like a copy, I will be sharing with you as soon as I see you in real life.

Time to shower and freeze..

Onward!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

People seem happy

People seem happy at the museum today. That's nice. I forget that people, when they come to a museum, are generally happy to be there. It's a break in their routine. That's nice.

Things:

- Diego (as in "Go, Diego, Go") is teaching our children ("our" children? What a jerky thing to say. Presumptive.) ...things. I do a short show about Bears at the Museum. I've had at least two under-five kids get all up about the Spectacled Bear (the only bear in South America).

a) Spectacled? That's just damned hard to say.
b) What person over 30 has heard of the Spectacled Bear?
c) Chupacabra-Diego-mash-ups are inevitable.

- We went to Java Train yesterday. It was actually really lovely.

a) It's.. train themed. Trains and silos.
b) They have a train for your children to play in. When children play in a train, they scream a lot. Much like hobos would.
c) You can get hot dogs, mac n' cheese and ice cream at Java Train. ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! Hoboriffic!

- Back to tech rehearsal tonight! Er.. Dress rehearsal. Since I'm pattering in three's..

a) The music is beautiful! That Dennis knows how to arrange a song!
b) The sketches are funny! That Jim! That Josh Will! That Racheal! Delightful!
c) Pickles might have a part in it. (Pickles is my tiny dog with a bum leg.)

Pickles says promo code "Santa" for tix! And check out our calendar, to see what fancy guest star will make a fancy cameo appearance! (This Sunday, Ferrari McSpeedy!!)


Onward.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Tut tut...

Yesterday was a grease'plosion! A delicious delicious grease'spolision. Along the lines of "hey, 23 year old, wanna live? Like really really live!? Let's do this!"

To show you how serious we were, for a tiny dinner, we shared some poutine at Duplex.



































And you're thinking, Jen, that looks disgusting. To which I would answer:
a) yes. It is. It's french fries, fresh cheese curds and gravy.
b) Canadians love it!
c) If you order it at Duplex, it looks all sexy n' stuff, honest.

Just a little half order. To justify, you can say, well.. it's like you ordered fries, and then a cheese and gravy sandwich. Somehow, that makes it better.

And, then, around 10 p.m., we made scotch eggs.






















Egads! A scotch egg is a hardboiled egg, wrapped in sausage, breaded, then fried. We did it all homemade..

a) Fairly easy to make!
b) It's super comforting food! Like if breakfast came in baseball-sized portions.
c) Yeah...

Today, it's all oatmeal and apples and seaweed and slaps in the face. Promise. Yesterday, truly, was epic.

Saturday was a trip to Duluth! Unless you work in the service industry, people move a bit slower in Duluth.

a) Hi lake! Except when you swallow people, I likes ya!
b) Got up to do a couple of guest sets. Yes. I am trying stand up. I have some jokes. I need to write more.
c) I improved! Second guest set went fairly well. First guest set, I heard the drunk guy on stage left whisper "transsexual". What? Fine.
d) Met one of the most terrifying people. A very very drunk 23-ish year old 6'4" blonde tattoo'd infant of a man with military training. Who wanted to tell the stand ups how awesome they were by yelling and slapping them hard on the shoulder. And then getting horrifyingly quiet for about 30 seconds. Jesus.

We ate breakfast at Uncle Louis' and headed home. (Some guy wanted to win the "Hey I'm gregarious game!" here. Super jovial, his whole family basically surrounding me, but got almost offended when I tried to talk back. Let's play the gregarious game! Nope, it's a one man show. Sorry.. jerk.)

Ended up hosting Sunday Funday Double Team at the Spring Street, which was fun, until I was reminded about that whole not-being-23 thing again.

Note: If you do stand up, people might want to buy you shots. They think it's fun. It's really not. Really really not. Please eat some seaweed.

Happy Wednesday, friends! :)

Onward.

Friday, November 27, 2009

It's a little bit funny.. this feeling inside..

- I have a new tire. Thanks, Tires Tires Tires.

- Some gentleman who wasn't quite right decided to show everyone (including my mom) in the waiting room why men like Dodge products, as the Dodge Ram logo looks like fallopian tubes.

- To South Dakota! Grandpa looks awesome. Pam got a sassy new haircut. We ate a plate of beige. I've blogged about Tobie's before!!

- We drive back from SD through NE to IA. Rolly pretty. Mom points out where another horrible massacre happened. (That particular account linked is from 1896 and is wincingly horrible and racist. And the accounts that actually happened are also absolutely horrible.)

- Despite the horrible things that happened so close, NE Nebraska/NW Iowa is filled with some of the nicest people in the world. Eye contact and hellos from strangers! Dreamy!

- We get home and a lovely friend stops by! Yeaa!!

I don't wanna go. It's starting to hang in. This was too short. I miss my family. It's nice to be all together again.

"Pushing Daisies" really is a lovely show.

Onward.

P.S. Soon to come, a breakdown of Venture Bros. females! How all of the women who will actually have sex with the male characters must have one horrible, possibly disfiguring flaw (low creepy voice, invisible outer layer of skin) while the one actually possibly physically perfect woman (Molatav Cocktease) won't. What does it mean?? (NOTHING!) You're welcome.

Onward.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


Quick little notes before getting back to SUX family mom time:

- Up was a beautiful, loving, funny, cautionary tale about obsession.

- I loved it, and laughed and cried much.

- Finished off, with mom, that bottle of 2002 Beringer White Cabernet Sauvignon from the basement.

- Did the aging process help it? What was originally supposed to taste like? I'm assuming apple juice.

- Should a cab be white? No! It was a very racist pink bottle of wine.

- I have the slighted, pink-colored headache this morning.

It's good to be back in the familiar. I am thanksful for blue skies and couches, and to just having family and for the family themselves. To house and home and shelter, clean air and water and the good things that come from them. To puppy dogs and kitty cats. To the people, who aren't here, whom I'm lucky enough to know and love. Which includes you - - THANK YOU!! Sending love your way. I am blessed and thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving... :)

Onward.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Am I doing this wrong?

There's moments, such as last night, such as this morning, that I get stuck and sad. And right now, that brand of stuckness is "am I doing this wrong? I might be bad at life. This sucks. I'm sad."

I don't feel like counting blessings. I feel like wallowing in this for a while.

I will count my blessings. I just don't feel like it right now.

Before jumping into the pile of Fuck-it-All, let's check on our weekly horoscope..

I agree with football coach Lou Holtz, who said, "The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood." It's possible to work around this difficulty, however. What you have to do, before you unleash your levity, is conjure up empathy for the sourpuss in question. You should also make sure that your intention is not to mock or poke at the person, but instead offer a potential escape from his or her locked energy. By my calculations, you could be an expert at this kind of psychic judo right now. For best results, practice on yourself. Whenever you're headed toward a negative thought or emotion, nudge yourself away with a jest or wisecrack.

:( .. I will get on that. As soon as I'm able. I promise.

a) Dr. Rocket had one of their best damn set at Six Ring Circus last night. Goddamn. I greedily want them to submit for TCIF and IAGG and all that goodness. That little light of their's, I wanna watch it shine for a very long time. Go, gentlemen, go.

b) I've started Christmassing. I do like Christmassing. Certain things are being purchased. I hope certain people like them.

c) I didn't get the part that I had second callback for. My response to this is mostly "Aw, that's okay." I wanted it, but I didn't really expect to get it. Just proud to get second callbacked.

d) A poorly done haiku:
I'm jumping into
My Kia. It needs an oil
Change. Such is life, yes?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your's.

Onward.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Ohhhh, Thanks, Friends!

Thank you so much for a) reading b) responding. That's it. Michele is right. There's nothing better than people letting you know they read and they're okay with what you're writing. Thank you thank you thank you!!

Sunday was a lovely zoom. My Saturday horoscope told me to be on time for everything on Saturday (I did good!) and it carried over to Sunday. Yea! We Tony n' Tina'd for over 300 people, then to Improv A Go Go (where we got to be dirty and at least talk about all the stuff.. - - naughty, but fun. We didn't actually get to the skullf**king, but we probably should have.. maybe.)

And then Troy and James made me cry. w00f. In that deep-I-am-so-throughly-delighted-way that my nose has no excuse but to run. Yea! (James Moore, my friends, is up for anything, and that's makes me so happy. Very lucky.)

Then to SpringStreet to see good good people, and to home.

Monday got usurped by "Hot Yoga". One hour of "Hot Yoga" and I was worthless for the rest of the day.

a) You step into a room in your already stinky, unwashed yoga clothes. You notice that the room is set around 100 degrees f and humid. Dear god.

b) You lay on your yoga mat, contemplating the fate you have actively chosen for yourself. The person beside you is already sweating. We're doomed.

c) A very positive and firm woman walks in, and shows you how to breathe (first by pressing your fists into your neck.) I assume that certain things require that you breathe differently, but the only other thing I can think of beside yoga is pregnancy.

d) You sweat and sweat and oh and you stare at yourself in the mirror and you look at other people and your mind is so caught up in how damn hot it is, that there's no time for any other annoying nagging grocery-list thoughts. Enlightenment achieved!

e) We start doing alot of little Savasan (death) poses in between moves towards the end, which sounds all sexy and petite mort-ish but is really, at this moment, laying down for 20 seconds and praying that the firm woman will let us do this more.

f) She also has us rub our third eyes on our knees to "wake it up". I love the idea that my third eye is just really sleepy from too many cartoons and milk shakes.

g) Some of the stretches were for "wringing out our colons" and some were for our lymph nodes. I am soaked in colonic excrement and tummy toxins. I wonder how bad the room must smell, but it's currently too hot to smell anything. Everything's instantly turning to vapor and then to find particulate ash, certainly.

h) There is always at least 1-2 yoga bad-asses in the class. They tend to have chunky arm tattoos and concentrating snake-like eyes. I wonder how they go through the rest of their lives, what they do for a living. Does the rest of the world see how bad ass they are? Do they actually float to work or just materialize? I do not know.

i) Class is done. The firm woman shares in her thankfulness. We are all exhausted and beaten and thankful.

k) I am soaked. The women's showers fill up really fast. (I think there were only two gentlemen in the class itself.) I ask the firm lady about my hyper-extending elbows. Her name is Jennifer.

l) I leave shaken and floaty. I feel destroyed. I cross Excelsior to wander blinky through Trader Joe's.

m) I NOW FEEL GREAT! Water tastes amazing. Let us unyieldingly step into the world and breathe. I buy frozen veggies and use my purse as my shopping bag. I am wearing a Rainbow Bright sweatshirt. W000000...

n) I spend the rest of the day intaking cream based soups, cured meats, wine, coffee, 2 cigarettes, and 3 pieces of frozen pizza (which has formed a baseball shaped lump in my lower.. tummy). ...Owww.

Also, got to see dear friend Sue yesterday. Awesomes. I think I talked her ear off. I owes her.

Today is taking some photos (I hope it goes well! The subject matter is awesome, I just worry about light and things) and Six Ring and hanging out with the boy until tomorrow comes. Tomorrow begins family. oooooooof! Good, but also very comfortable here in Minneapolis. Right now, on the couch, tomorrow sounds intimidating. But it will be good! GOOOD! (right? please?)

Onward.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's a foodie sort of day.

But first..

Things I like:
- Train songs (you know, Johnny Cash with some where to go..)

- Sing-a-longs (come now, I was born in 1975. How many times did I see the Coke-a-Cola commercials? How much did my mom vacuum to Cat Stevens? Much.)

- Backing vocals (we'll talk about that Edward Sharpe and his army of singers later)

It seems I also like songs that have videos of Canadians walking through the woods in masks.

Basia Bulat's "In the Night" (Jen's xmas mix 2008!) - ooh! Isn't she adorable? Isn't her hair perfect? Is that an autoharp? Look, furries! Skeletons! ooh! That's good folk rock video, friends.

And now, unexpectedly, the Hidden Camera's "Awoo" (almost Jen's xmas mix 2006, switched out for "Boys of Melody") .. Why, here's the video!



(the screen shot at moment 2:13 and 2:26 might be my favorites. Dancing wolf heads!*)

Goodness. Did something happen in Canada? Was camping suddenly a trend? Did Jung become very popular amongst the friendly folky rocker sorts? Well done, Canuck art students of the world!

Anywhoo..

It was the last day of class with the 9ish-13 year olds, and I'm speechless. Crap. I'll miss them. This was so good. When class embodies those perfect mixes, when we are so lucky to be amongst the best of company - - smart and funny and weird and brave. So, here is to Noah, Kevin, Sophie, Liz, Gabriella, Talia, Brianne, Emma, Kayli and Mackensie. And to their parents, who were a joy. And laughed and laughed at their performance. It's an awesome thing to see this age group get belly laughs, and to see them relish in it. Oooh. That's good.

I stopped by the MCAD art sale. NOT BAD, you arty people you. It also was interesting to be in a Minnesota moment, jamming crowds of people into tight spaces to look at stuff. Much like the State Fair or Grand Ol' Days, but with more coffee and white paint.

Then to Keefer (see previous food happy post), then to a callback, then to the Museum where three to four years olds announced to me that all one needed to protect oneself against the chill of the Arctic Circle is a rainbow.

It was a very lucky day.

I stopped for tiny dinner and a drink at the Red Stag before heading home, and totally got to see Butch & Katharine by chance! Ah! Delightful!!

Katharine noted how funny it was to see each other at this particular business, as it's a restaurant owned by a woman that we once both worked for. (I actually met Katharine first, in the year 1999/2000 or so. She did an awesome job. My performance was questionable. Back then, I had met/seen Butch only briefly, enough to tell Katharine that her fiance' was very awesome and very funny. She showed me her wedding binder. Katharine, then and now, kicks ass.) So, 1o years later, here we are. *grin*

We are very lucky, it's true.

Red Stag is and was an indulgence.

a) Butch was right about the martini. Goddamn smooth. Thank you, Splendid Things, for the wooden drink-fetching nickel!

b) I had a small plate of pork belly with fennel and pureed leeks. Meaning, basically, for dinner, I had a fat'splosion. Oh man. Even the leeks had fat in them (olive oil and possibly cream). Delicious fat'splosion!!!

c) I had a Spanish coffee for dessert. Ollie, the kickass bartender, carmelized the sugar on the glass by lighting brandy in said glass on fire. It was beautiful and ridiculous. Good god. (Unfortunately, all my brain could compare it too was Quark's on Deep Space Nine. Drinks with dry ice in them and such. Merh. This does not do the pretty blue flame justice.)

Now I am home, and the animals have been fed, and I need to empty the cat box. It was a long day, but it was good. Someone awesome comes home late tonight, and that's really really awesome.

Tomorrow, Suburban World and Vikings and the LAST TONY & TINA'S and Improv A Go Go and then the Spring Street. hew.

Onward.

P.S. I've been using the phrase "In their wheelhouse" way too often the last two weeks. I am a poser. Please stop me.

*I can't see anyone in an over-sized cardboard head without thinking of Jimmy deSimone in one himself in one of the last (?) Collective Fringe shows.. Was he Jimmy Stewart? Was he Kapra? Was he President Carter? The brain blurs.

Hey, there's pork in my donut - a food post

Yes. Here is to Keefer Bakery, makers of fine and cheap Chinese pastries. (You already know where it is. On the West Bank, across the street from the 400 Bar, two doors down from the Red Sea.. see? You knew!)

If you go, order yourself a $1 custard bun and feel like bad ass. So flaky! So not overly sweet! So delicious! I ordered myself a $1.25 BBQ bun, which was the perfect lunch yum. Delish!

I also ordered myself a sticky rice dumpling, which my brain said "it's like a donut" until I got to the yummy weirdo pork center. Yes! Well done, friends!

Onward.

Friday, November 20, 2009

.. Cavalier.. and Acrobat.

It's a two coffee sort of day. Usually by Thursday or Friday, coffee consumption is increased. Thursday, I was cool. Friday, there's no denying the need or desire for more.

- Finally saw the Star Trek movie, and was shocked at how good it is. I know - - you all said. But it's really good. (it's also the perfect movie for a, say, 13 year old boy. Nothing too gross, the sex is all silhouetted and stuff, and it's all about ADVENTURE! more ADVENTURE!!! and stewardess outfits that you go to war in.)

- 'Made tiny brains last night... well, baby cabbages that look like braaaains. (brussels sprouts are delightful! You steam 'em, make 'em all mad and bright green, and then you can pan fry them in whatever delightful fat you have lying about. They got treated to a bath of bacon.)

- 'Also made an apple crisp.. crumble.. crisp last night. It is easy. (You cut up things you want to stew in their own juices. You salt and sugar them a little. You mix flour and brown sugar and a little salt and some oatmeal with butter and/or oil. You cover the stewy things in the yummy brown sugar things and put it all in the oven. You forget about it until your house smells nice and the stewy things are.. stewy. And bubbly. Then you stare at it and try only a bite because you ate too many tiny brains.)

- I have eaten more bacon in my 30's than I've eaten in the entire other.. 30 years of my life. Bacon, you're so late-this-decade.

- So is bringing back hits of childhood.. What the world truly needed was the "Dungeons & Dragons" cartoon on DVD.

In digging through the youtube, I find I really only need to hear the opening intro song to be happy. Hey look! Pole Position!



Ogh.

Actually fairly catchy is the Kidd Video opening.



Maybe tomorrow we'll dig out Gummi Bears or (better yet) the Get-A-Long Gang (catchy!*) or Shirttails (a funkier bass line than I remember).. Egads, Galaxy High.
Onward.

P.S. I've always wondered about the lyrics to the Get Along Gang opening. Honestly. It's been one of my personal ear worms for decades. In seeing it in print, I feel it was possibly translated from the Japanese.)

Get along gang get along gang
Each one so special in his own way
Montgomery's the leader and he's such a good sport
the get along gang get along gang

There's Woolma and Dotty with the spirit
And Bingo the fresh doesn't rule it
The Logical Portia will figure it out
And that's the spirit of the leadership

get up, with the get along gang
Come on! Their adventures don't end
Get up! (With the Get Along GA A A A A A Ang, ua ua ua ua ua ua ua ua)
Get up! With the Get Along Gang

Thanks, childhood.

Onward.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Little dribblies..




























Just writing without inspiration.. No real point to drive home. Except for...

Finger foods at bowling alleys!
I am not good at bowling. I got to bowl with someone who was. This was pretty awesome (the possibilities held within bowling.. Things like scores! We abided, indeed.) We went to Elsie's, which is also pretty awesome.

We ordered mounds of fried food, and then stuck our fingers into bowling ball holes. As thousands have done before. It took about 30 seconds for this to dawn on my now-viral-paranoid self . It was akin to touching cash, which we all know is covered in crack and AIDS.

I ate my finger food with a fork. It was still delicious, although I'm shaking my head as I am probably becoming the first on my block to walk through Target covered in surgical gear and face masks. (It hasn't happened yet. Just wait for it.)

Things Pleasing:
- That Thanksgiving isn't until next week. I'm not mentally prepped for it.

- That I can read the Twilight books if I really want to. But I don't have to.

- The Cleveland Show. Really. It's delightful. Way more gentle (and, to me, funnier and smarter) than Family Guy or American Dad or whatevers. Really. Well written. Diggin' it.

- Being spoiled like crazy with unexpected treats. Thank you!!!!!!

- Peter Bagge. My sweetie loves Peter Bagge more than Peter Parker ever loved Gwen Stacey. And PBau wouldn't break Peter Bagge's neck or anything. Boingboing had a link to Reason Magazine. (I'm not a Libertarian. But it feels weird touching their stuff. The reaction of "Hmm.. I can see why you like this stuff, but I'm not sure if it's for me. Here's your stuff back.") which held this pretty lovely Peter Bagge breakdown of birth control and PlanB. It's old, but it's funny.

Must put words into my head! Get in there, words! Maybe I'll put some actions with those words. Yes! Crazy! Let's do it!

Then, I'm gonna go eat lunch with Jim. (eeeeee)

Onward.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Don't look at my spending history

If I am an American, and if us American are defined by what we consume, I consume a lot of:

- Bar food
- Coffee
- Gas stations
- Car payments
- Target
- Music downloads

There isn't a little sheep that pops up when I open my Wells Fargo page, and assures me that I eat organic. (Cuz I don't. But the sheep would be adorable.) There's just numbers and words and Threadless orders.

Saturday day was full of work! (oh my god! I got paperwork done! Assessments and counts and.. whew.). It started with "bring a friend to class" at the big-giant-kid's Theatre, which was nonstop madness and hilarity. I'm still giggling. And then to the big-giant Museum for many many people and much much cuteness.

However, Saturday night was filled with tap shoes and bowling s (The tap shoes were found at Savers.. They fit beautifully! Must tell Jill - - I have a tap shoes we can share!).

To the Suburban World, and then to Improv A Go Go for Explorer's Club! Then to Spring Street Tavern for Open Mic and big-giant screen Beatles Rock Band. You can come too!

Have a lovely rest of your weekend!

Onward.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Why did I do that?!

I did it because:

- If one has the indulgent luxury of having cold pork roast in the fridge, and it's after 10 p.m., and a folded-over cold pork roast half-sandwich with a little bit of margarine or mayo reminds you of eating the exact same thing with your mom late at night, well, then, of course you should have that half-sandwich.

- I made cherry tarts. I've had these cherries in the freezer for months. Used the last of the marscapone cheese (which was another fun and indulgent treat). Made cherry marscapone tarts. Had one. If the tarts are warm, you should really have one.

Now I'm topped off full. And it's 12 midnight. Really? Completely unnecessary, but very good.

- Back to the yoga mines. It's good. I'm actually sore from class yesterday. Ding.

- Saw Four Humor's "Love is Furry.. and Blind." What a delight. It's a farce! They made a farce! Whatta cast! Whatta bit! (seriously. There's a bit in there I could watch for literally hours.) Whatta set. (I'm not much of one for too sets. This one was right up my alley. Plus, it was goddamn classy. That's right, people.)

- Got to hang out with Sass and Natalie. Sass might be my brother from another mother. I'm gonna ask him if that's okay. And then treat him like any good big sister should, and try to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend.

Time to find and then stuff more monologues in my head. Get into my head, things. Yes, you, dear Mr. Albee. Let's see if we get along, shall we? Or I shall have to go hang with that Williams fellow and, truly, no one wants that. I know. This could just be silly. I understand. But we might as well try.

On Sunday, we get to go back to the Suburban World! Yeaa!! I'm prepping my psyche. Awesome.

Onward.

P.S. The last episode of Glee made me cry. Goddammit. Here's my cool kid's card. You can keep it. Momma needs her stories. (aghh! Seriously. I didn't see that particular twist coming. Brown beer, corn tortillas, and pow! I'm crying over a sitcom.)

P.S.S. Really - - I'm not hormonal. I'm just a sucker.

Onward.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Things that rock..

A random assortment..

But before all that: what doesn't rock is trying to paint with a brush paint that is made to spray. I bought a can (not a spray can, however) of RustOleum gloss black. It happily covered wood, metal, and ceramic. So easy when sprayed to a saturation point. So lame when brushed on. I've taken to brushing it against the grain, in globs and globs. My yellow kitchen thinks I'm nuts, but I swear it will look sweet. SWEET! If I don't cover my yellow kitchen in gobs of gloss black. Agh.

Things about Minneapolis that are good. Purely purely good. I complain about this place on a regular basis (grumblesnarlgross), but.. there is another side, of course..

a) These lake-thingies. I didn't really get them until about 2 years ago. Lake thingies tend to also inspire things like parks and civic pride. You can also live a metaphor by walking around the same lake daily.

b) All the construction trucks around my neighborhood. Crews, working on houses. *fingers crossed*

c) Our Improv scene. Goddamn. We are some of the luckiest people in the world.

d) Our Theater/re scene. Our improv scene probably wouldn't have it's rabble-nest of a home without the regular, old theater that's been here for so long.

Which brings us to last night..

e) Chicago Avenue Project at the Pillsbury House Theater. There are few things I get behind with full belief and full heart, unironic and true. This is one of them. This project is pure good. It has it's hiccups and sometimes people made it hard or complicated, but - - the cool thing is: everyone believes in it. We have fun. It's all about the kids. And the fact that some of the most talented performers in the city can come and support kids by doing what they do best... Yeah. It rules.

The kids also get to see a bunch of grown ups working together, men and ladies, being silly and smart. And the grown ups get to hang out with a bunch of kids, who are silly to begin with and too smart by half. This is good.

Plus, CAP has a habit of collecting good, fun, unselfish people. And truly funny people. I laughed a lot. Thank you!

(Note: When a first grader tells you she's in 3rd grade, and then confirms that she indeed learn to "do everything" in school today, don't be surprised if she spend the next 3 minutes fake-burping in your face. Angel-looking 7 year old, in mismatched neon plaids and a flower hijab, fake burping over and over. Gross, rude and really really funny. Curses!)

I'm considering making marmalade it's own food group. Our lives would be even more delicious with just a bit more marmalade involved. Really, well done, marmalade workers of the world!

It's back to the Museum today, and then tomorrow begins the Spiked rehearsals. Look at this line up, people!

Corey Anderson
Jody Briskey
Molly Cox
Dennis Curley
Rachael Brogan Flanery
Madde Gibba
Andrea Guilford

Katy Hays
Jay Melchior
Tina North
Tod Petersen
Jim Robinson
Jen Scott
Joshua Will

With special guest appearances by:
  • Regina Zona — Opera Program Director, University of Minnesota-Duluth
  • James Rocco — Producing Artistic Director, Ordway Center
  • Ferrari McSpeedy — Twin Cities' top improv comedy duo
  • Drew Jansen & Jimmy Martin — composers, pianists, singers extraordinaire
  • Matt Peiken3-Minute Egg journalist and comedian
  • Melissa O'Neill & Tim Witry — popular husband-and-wife singing duo

  • PLUS:

Madison Olimb
Mark Bergren
Jim Detmar
Greta Grosch
Katy McEwen
Beth Gilleland
Michelle Cassioppi
Jeffrey Cloninger

James DeVoll
Erika Sjogren
Michael Frear
Ahna Brandvik
Josh Carson
Tom Bengston
Raquel Swanson
Angela Walberg


Good gracious! that's the first time I've seen that whole list - - I'm freaking out. Yea!! Some old familiars (we have generations of BNW alum appearing), and some peeps you may not have seen in a while. Swoonerific. It should be lovely. :)

Onward.

Monday, November 09, 2009

More cut scenes please...

Someone posted this - - I've seen it a number of times (but it feels like I never get to finish it, as there's usually people wanting to play the actual game.)

I love this intro - - it's beautiful in so many ways. There's some hella good 20-something computer artist types who should be damned proud.



I am tuckered! ARRRGHHH!!

Chicago Avenue Project has opened! YEAA!! Two more shows, one at 4:30 p.m. tomorrow (Tuesday) and one at 7 p.m. tomorrow (Tuesday) at the Pillsbury House Theatre (35th & Chicago Ave S, Mpls) FREE!! We opened tonight - - it's a bit strange to see the madness from onstage - - it just looks wholly regular and natural. From the audience, I remember the little kid logic and foam-core other-reality as much more surreal and otherworldly. From stage, it's as natural as a flat or a costume. (which, by their very nature, aren't natural at all)

Please come if you can! One of the lovely parts of Chicago Avenue Project? The grown ups get to have Mexican food & drink after the shows. Awesome.

Sunday started with: The Suburban World theater has re-opened, and has taken the chef from the Uptown Bar and their breakfast menu. I'd never been in the Suburban World before.. Good god. What a strange mix of sweet and creepy kitsch.. But not done well enough to be either. It could be so good for so many things.. hopefully at night, as it is a dark cavern of plastic fir trees and urns and blue paint and moving clouds on the ceiling. (This is not what it looked like on Sunday morning, watching ancient and trippy 1930's Raggedy Anne cartoons.)

















Honestly, if someone had given me an ancient theater, I probably would have decorated it exactly the same. (my house nods in agreement).

Otherwise.. (mew mew mew).. Next time, I promise a happy blog full of witty stuff.. But until, take care of you!

Onward!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Because Michelle says I should!

Yes. This much is totes true. (Hi Michelle!)

The end of this week sniffed of oddness. Nothing fatal, just.. aghh..

1) Stepped on a dead mouse. Who had died in a 5x12 glue trap. Right before teaching a class (who were AWESOME, by the by). Stepping on the mouse (and glue.. and pulling my clog and foot up from the mouse and glue) elicited a flurry of:

a) Swearing. Mother f word and everything.
b) crunchsquish
c) OhmygodGROSSAmouseThatpoormouseI'msorryitdiedWhatahorriblewaytodieCan'tlivewith miceIjust stepped in somethingdead *immediately pictures walking over dead people to save yourself* AGHHHH!!!
d) What the hell?! This doesn't happen! I have to go teach class! Get my head in the game and teach class! *rubs foot on carpet as walking into class*

No one needs that.

The second thing that happened was on Thursday.

I punched a hole in my car. Not a large hole. Just the perfect key shaped incision. With a key, using the force of my trunk. See?






Not on purpose. Just a random puncture into my automobile's exterior, while putting my computer in the trunk. *sigh* What?

Nothing fatal. Just odd.

Friday was spent in a large dark room, watching grown ups dress up like elephants and space cheetahs.

This was not odd. This was awesome. (awwddsome? oawddsome?) Chicago Avenue Project performs this Monday at 7 p.m., Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.. At the Pillsbury House Theater - Free!! The actors are great. I have seen them all. They give excellent performances. You will laugh and feel good. Come giggle!

However, no matter how much you love a process, 7 hours on a stool makes your back hurt and makes you wanna go ride a bike far and away. Possibly around a lake and to a Dairy Queen. Double however, someone purely awesome brought me a sandwich around 2p.m.. Yea!!

What does the rest of the weekend hold? The final dress rehearsal for Chicago Avenue, then going the Spring Street for debauchery on Sunday night, per usual. For this week only, Stand up Open Mic and Beatles Rock Band are replaced with a benefit - - which will include real live rock bands and real live stand ups too. Yea! Come on by..

Monday is for memorizing.

Tuesday is for THEEEater.

And Wednesday is for wrehearsals for the Xmas show.

I can feel this year slipping away. It was only a matter of time. It just feels like summer is a pause to inevitability of winter, and once fall hits, everything zooms. It's possibly the nature of how we make a living (summer is generally a slow time for live entertainment). Or it's just possibly gettin' old.

Hopefully I'm not being dramatic. I have more elephants and space cheetahs to accompany.

(And yoga classes to take! For the first time, in crappy traffic, my subconscious barfed out the thought "I wish I was doing yoga right now". I have never thought that about.. almost anything. I'd rather be skiing or fishing or knitting - nope. *with the possible exception of peeing. Wouldn't we all rather be peeing? No? Gross.*) So.. yeah. I think I'm going back to the fancy place. If you go often enough, the cost of each class is affordable, even. Wish me luck.)

Onward.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

We'll try this again...

Let's just talk about the last couple of days, rather than trying to encompass a month, shall we? Hi friends!!

- I have a dishwasher now. It looks like it's made of Cylons and confidence. Outside, it is black and shiny. Inside, it is white and unblemished. My kitchen doesn't know what to do with itself.

- Chicago Avenue Project performs next Monday and Tuesday! Holy hannah! Why, here's the link! Though I'm in none of the marketing (hah! My ego bleeds.), I got to create an original song for each play, and will be performing with each play. Cool beans! These 5-10 minutes plays are awesome. The feeling of the performances is a cross between a pep rally and a potluck. It's so great. Professional actors, professional directors, professional dramaturgs working with at risk kids. Please come, enjoy - - it's all free and fun.

- Creature Feature and Survivors of the Undead Plague finished up a run at the Brave New Workshop.. YEAAA!! Our last one was scariest.. Josh was a chupacabra; Aric and I survived. Chupacabra's (and Joe doing jazz hands/wings) are awesome. Aric, I'm sorry my character tried to hide behind you when all the chupacabra's came - - that was a jerk move.

- I tried a free week at a certain yoga studio.
a) it's a Yoga "studio". Agh!

b) My instructors names have been either Irish goddesses or something that sounds like ky-lin. Cai-lyn. Kylhn is a boy. (And he ruled, by the by, Ky)

c) People are really serious about yoga at a yoga studio!! Especially the students!!

d) Not much eye contact is made in yoga. When Caeylinn had us introduce ourself to our neighbors (like we're real people, in a room that smells of other sweaty people), my mind was blown.

e) Their showers are fancy. And, they provide towels.

f) Have you seen the Joss Whedon show "Dollhouse"? Yeah. This is what it looks like. Except with even more yoga pants.
















h) I think I like it.

- I've tried stand up comedy. I will try it some more. When I have more than 30 seconds of material, I will let you know, and you can watch me bombbombbomb. Deal. :)

- umumum. That's a good start, right?

Onward.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Not a blog, but more of a practice..

The dog is (now) asleep (unlike his picture).









The cat is asleep (still).










I should sleep too.

Actual monthly blog coming soon. I swear.

Goodnight!

P.S. Creature Feature starts up this Friday! 10:30 p.m. Fridays in October at the Brave New Workshop!

P.S.S. Mustache Rangers are on Drinking with Ian this weekend! Holy crap!

P.S.S.S. Sunday Funday Double Team continues this Sunday (and every Sunday) in Club Underground at the Spring Street Tavern in Nordeast! 8:30 p.m. for stand up comedy, 10 p.m. for Beatles Rock Band. It's hella fun. :)

P.S.S.S.S. More to come! Yesh!

Onward..

Sunday, August 23, 2009

That time of the month again..

Time to blog!!

- Saw "Inglourious Basterds" at the midnight premier Thursday.

a) It was not an easy movie for me to watch.
b) But it was very very very very good.
c) Quentin Tarantino believes in his patchwork-vision of pop culture more than he believes in gravity.
d) He really wants the kids to start watching some German cinema.
e) The performances were fanntastic. Especially.. this guy right here. Possibly one of the best written and best acted villains, and an absolutely engaging and terrifying character.
f) I also really liked Steiglitz. And the silly Brits. And basically everyone. Seriously. It was really really really good.

What else happened?

- I bought a $13 tent about 2 years ago. Two weekends ago, we used it! It is one of the sadder looking little tents, but it did good! It is the little tent that could.

- Saw the current Brave New Workshop show Friday. :) It's so damn'd good.

- I'm about to eat a Snickers Ice Cream bar. This is good.

- One more weekend of Tony n' Tina's at the MOA comes up this weekend (albeit, it starts back up in October.. but it's still a mini-break :) ) Yea for fun and good.

- The last Ka-Baam!!, this Friday at 10:30 p.m. at ComedySportz! Holy hannah! Hopefully it will come back too.. Ka-Baam!! is awesome and good! (and such a joy. Come see our last heroic blow out.) :)

- THIS SUNDAY August 30th and every Sunday after! SUNDAY FUNDAY DOUBLE TEAM! 7:30 p.m. at the Spring Street Tavern (downstairs) in beautiful Nordeast Minneapolis. 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m., Improv Open mic (have your team show up at 7 p.m. and sign up for a time), 9:30 p.m. - 11:30 p.m., Stand Up Open mic (show up at 9 p.m. or before, sign up for a time).

(I'm keeping the flyer at a bigger size, cuz it's absolutely brilliant. Err.. the flyer says $3. It might be $5. Still a hell of a deal. Mike Brody closes the night. Awesome and good.)

- Went to the 501 last night. Saw a band of 3 drummers dressed up as skeletons. Everyone was drinking Lone Star tall boys. Iz Minneapolis.

Time to go run and work.

Onward!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

I only post monthly now..

.. well. THAT's lame.

Spending a morning with a couple of animals. Alas, a maltipoo's need for oatmeal leftovers will not be sated.

THINGS YOU CAN DO:
a) Go hang out with friends, their babies, and ham sandwichs. This was all sorts of awesome. Eat the sandwiches, kiss the babies.

b) Paint your front and back door Superman colors. The back door came out blue and great (barring future sanding and touch up). The front door needs some touch up (it looks like a very committed graffiti artist was exploring red). I may have a hole in my kitchen ceiling, but I've got pretty doors.

c) Not wear a mask while spray painting. Why, that was dumb.

d) Go see "An Intimate Evening with Mike Fotis: Part III". Why, that is not dumb at all! Mike is doing an awesome job, it's hilarious, and I'm honored to be thumping behind him. It's also been great to see good people come out for the fun - - Hi friends!! last show is tonight at 10 p.m.! :)

e) Come see "Ka-Baam!!" Only a couple of performances left!! (Fridays through August, 10:30 p.m., Comedysportz in Calhoun Square). This has been an utter delight. Goddang.

But if you don't see Ka-Baam!! next Friday..

f) Come see "OMG" at Mixed Blood, 11 p.m. Friday August 14th. Many many chick improvisers.. with their middle school diaries.. *sigh* It's gonna be awkward and awesome.

g) Get home and find a bat in your house. (FOTIS!!!) Upon first glance, it looked like someone had hung a dead rat from the curtains. Upon second glance, it was small, soft, and really really happy to be sleeping atop the front room drapes. The cat had already attempted to scale the drapes (Unsucessfully. Sebastian is unapologetic about his weight gain).

After pissing it off once (it was really really happy. The curtain are soft and warm. It seemed ready to move in. It was cute! Cute little muzzle. Freaky bat wings. So sleeeepy. I briefly pondered our shared life together.), a piece of cardboard and some soft fabric in a mixing bowl did it. YEAAA!!!

Bat's swear in clicks.

h) Go to your front porch to watch the thunderstorm, and have a raccoon amble by, a mere 3 feet in front of your legs. WHOA! The raccoon was huge, bigger than Sebastian and equally apologetic.

Raccoon's walk like their feet are too small for them.

i) Get yourself to the Corner Bar for Open Mic, Fridays. Minneapolis has some damn'd fine stand ups.

Speaking of, one of them gets back from Madison tomorrow. This is also all sorts of awesome. :) :)

I am going to do the things that need to get done. Or at least give it a bit of a try.

Onward.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Puppets of Meat!

Just a quick blog, as I need to take on this day. Hello, Day.

Got to see the MeatPuppets last night! Yeaaa, you may say! Went with lovely people, and saw some lovely people (Hello, Mr. Brian K! Hello, Mr. Jay D., who I used to play in a band with, wayyyy back in the day. Yea for yea!)

My impressions:

- They, the Meat Puppets, are awesome.

- They are the heir apparent to the Allmann Brothers Band. ("Jessica"! Which sounds like this "Do do do do dooo, do do do do, do do do dooooo") That is some tight noodly guitar work, people.

- They have too many tall male fans with thick necks.

- Unrelated to the Meat Pupppets... The sound guy mixed the Meat Puppets like a 16 year old would tune his car stereo - - all treble and bass, no middle. This was poopy and tiring. Boooooo, sound guy.

- Back to the Meat Pupppets, their bass player (Cris Kirkwood) looks like a hippy version of the bass player from Metalocalypse (Murderface). Compare.

















All in all, a really really really lovely night, on top of an astonishing and lovely day. :)

My sister has unexpectedly decided to visit tomorrow. I.. need to get movin'.

Onward.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

A month between blogs.. really?

Yesh. I have spent the last month thinking inward, not outward. Plus, it's been busy!

- At one of the places I work, I have a new boss. As I'm a contractor there, I just met her. We reveled in Minneapolis Transplantism for a bit (I've been here 10 years.. I have no excuse). For herself, she would love to move back to NYC, but acknowledges that she would have to get a roommate, and "I [she] kinda hate people." Granted, if I screw up, she's gonna pull no punches and it's been made clear she has free-range to not hire me any more, but.. I think that's good. I like her. :)

- NERD ALERT. It's been out that for over a month Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman have been been dating, and I missed it. I have lost literal gallons of nerd street cred.

(I had just been scanning their blogs - not actually reading their blogs, as lately my attention span has gone bye-bye - and wondering if they were possibly, and yes. They both announced it over a month ago. I suck.) They may actually be the entirety of my celebrity-nerd obsessions, and now they're smooching!! I win!! Maybe Mr. Neil will take Ms. Palmer to Minneapolis to see some long form improv, and blow all of our minds. (Josh Hartnett has come. Why not these lovely people?)

- There was an Improv Festival! We went to a cabin! I saw my mom!

- Despite the soon to be busy-ness of the next month, it's good. And after that, whoa nelly, there's some stretching and breathing room. I think.

This was a vaguely lamers blog for my first one back. Ah well.

Onward.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Sketching for dollars.. sometimes.

The same people who make Chic o Stiks also make Peanut Butter Bars, which are perfectly shaped and sized, and absolutely one of the best things in the world. Thank you, Atkinson's: you rule. (They also make Coconut Long Boys - - delicious and weird! Well, done, you!)

Squirrel Nut Zippers - - also delicious. I am becoming an old fashioned candy snob.

Almost to the last week of sketch class - - it's felt good to have some pressure to write. I was reminded today that, as with most things, if one is prepared, one can do well. And if I'm half-prepared, I can create worlds of suck. Lame upon lame: I get a D for "at least you tried". Not what I hope to add to the world.

I've been trying to write more stuff for me, and if I'm not imposed with a direction, I will write about babies and kitties. I am capable of more, but, it seems my uterus talks more than my brain. This all being said, sketch class has been a blast - - I love this stuff. The sketches would be lovely to perform, but that's a different day.

I'm turning into a crank, if I wasn't already. Beginning to dread small talk in the work place - - we already talk to strangers all day long, why talk more? Because small talk is social lube, and makes the world go round. Accept it, Jen, and get over having to talk to people - - when you're not paid to talk with people.

'Went in for Tony n' Tina's last night. Yea! It's two and a half hours long! Basically! *blink* That's a long time to be doing what we're doin'. The cast is great. It's weird to have the element of interactive theater revisit my life.

It's one of those shows that 75% of your audience will leave screamingly happy from, as they have witnessed your character's horrible dysfunction, and it's not them. There's an art to performing it, but little Art in it. Whereas other venues (stand up, plays, etc.), there's more Art to be mined. Isn't there? Where does sketch fall? It's a spectrum! It's all different! What is art? What is Art? It's just a job! Is it more than a job? If you choose! Oh god!

Got to see my sister last night. We ate happy hour and I gave her cat-head salt and pepper shakers.

I have blathered a great deal.

The reward for a workin' weekend? S'mores and relaxing. 3 more shows left (one being two and half hours long), and then onto s'mores and relaxing. I can't wait.

Onward.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Faith in Humanity restored - - Mpls Farmer's Market

One of those times when Mpls shakes off it's sometime-assholishness and shines as pretty as it should. Rows of awesome fruits and vegetables, families and couples and old people of all shapes and sizes and creeds: Hmong girls at the smalltownMN bratwurst stand. Tamales and farm fresh eggs. $2 Roasted sweet corn, and $1 tomato plants. A group of eastern Indian IT guys, shopping together; the man from Apple Valley who knows ALOT about hostas. People are friendly, transactions are all cash based and forever. There's samples (homemade pickles!) and you can ask questions.

The cold weather kept away the stubborn crowd masses that this state is so brilliant at (upper midwesterners love personal space, but yet, Minnesotans will press themselves into impossibly small spaces - - Grand Ole' Days, the State Fair - - just to go. This still astonishes me).

I am happy. I have tomato plants and hostas to plant, plus a $2 bag of cherries. (which may be one of my favorite foods in the world. Coffee, red cherries, fresh eggs, some chocolate. Rockin'.) It was Minneapolis, all idealized - - but with the backdrop of grey cold weather. It's like Philly and Portland had a baby, for one brief shiny time. Nice work, you Minneapolis, you.

It was a nice chaser to walking through The Nickolodean Universe at the Mall of America last night. It made me feel like an alien. An overstimulated, astonished alien. I DON'T GET IT, but if I ever have kids, they probably will. This is also the Twin Cities, and probably where more of the future lies than in the Jen-idealized version of Minneapolis. Inner grumblings of my parents, who never took us to theme parks of any kind (Wall Drug doesn't count), but made sure we stopped by every army fort and museum from here to Yellowstone. I am my parents' kid. Sorry possible future children of Jen - - we shall not have fun. ;)

Today is the Brave New Youth's last performance for the 2008-2009 season. Realized that I've been coaching the youth, fairly consistently (there was that one spring I missed, three years ago, when I started at the Museum) for 8 years. That's... um.. good. And silly. I'm hopefully a lot better at it than when I started. And speaking of such things, I'm also now old enough to basically be one of their parents.

They're better than us all. Nothing to do with me - - everything to do with them. 4 p.m., Brave New Workshop in Minneapolis, Free!

(It's followed by a potluck, and I'm bringing egg salad and red cherries - - basically, I'm taking the kids what I would want someone to bring to me. Possibly unfortunately, I tend to have the food leanings of an 85 year old man. Some braunschweiger and a shot of Ouza would round out the entire taste experience.)

Onward.

Friday, June 05, 2009

I've been targeted...

Went to see "Little Ashes" with dear friend Jim tonight. My goodness, what an inconsistent movie, featuring that vampire boy and the excellent Javier Beltran. Ehhh? EHHHHH??? The settings were beautiful, the costumes were beautiful -- I couldn't tell if that Vampire Boy was a good actor or not - - and neither could Jim. It was NOT a GOOD movie (so inconsistent! So cheesy and then not! So.. What!?!?), but it was still strangely engaging. Probably the work of that damned sympathetic Mr. Beltran. Curses!

While at the beautiful Lagoon, the powers-that-be decided to show the trailer for "Away We Go", which looks like "Juno" for grown-ups, and of course, made me cry. Dammit! I've been targeted - - I am this movie's target audience.

a) I'm in my early 30's, in those waning years of GenX.

b) Listen to the soft, Nick Drake-like soundtrack! Not overproduced, yet clean and aching. Dammit!

c) I find Dave Eggers writes in a voice that my subconscious wants to drive around in the loop with. And then find "the loop" itself ironic, yet fascinating.

d) I love Flight of the Conchords. I read Bust Magazine (sometimes. Magazines are expensive.) A goodly chunk of my wardrobe maybe about as old as I am.

e) Snap pearl buttons? YES. Army jacket? Done it! Semi-ironic sunglasses? Oh, why not?!

f) Look at that cast! Just.. you know.. look at them! Don't we love them?!

g) It IS Juno for adults, isn't it. *sigh*

h) I can't wait to see it.

I think my washer might be broken. :( This sucks.

Onward.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Trouble/Not Trouble

Things that may be trouble:

- An MGM liquors opened up next to Whole Foods. There are two types of parking lots that suck - - liquor store parking lots and (someone self-absorbed unknowing reason) Coop/natural foods parking lots. The Wedge parking lot is a death trap! The Whole Foods parking lots is inconsistent and challenging! The Trader Joe's parking lot will eat you! And now a liquor store next door?! Trouble.

- Going to a doctor. I went to a doctor about a week ago for a check up. Now I'm full of chemicals (nothing life threatening, just annoying). And those chemicals won't be out of my system for about 10 days, and already mess with the chemicals I ingest daily. This will make me happy! Healthy! But right now - - Trouble.

NOT Trouble:
- Went down to Des Moines last Sunday for dinner with my old college roommate Kelly, in from NYC for a wedding. A lovely drive through cornfields and windmills, to the center of the Des Moines. Stopped by the most ghetto QT in Des Moines, to find it sparkly clean and filled with cops. Ate at the Old Spaghetti Works, which also has locations in Omaha and Ralston (teehee!). Drank a gin martini at the Hotel Fort Des Moines, which is to be said with a thick unyielding French accent. Kruschev stayed there once. Not trouble.

- Drove back through a beautiful electrical storm while Bach played on the radio. Baroque pentacostal music is made awesome by stoner lightning effects, courtesy of God and nature and humidity. Not trouble.

**********

Still looking for balance. Not feeling very balanced. Feeling tired and grumbly for no reason, which is dumb. Need to figure that out.

Onward.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Random! All random!

Reposted from Amanda Fucking Palmer's blog, who is, not only a musician, but a very smart lady.

The Boston Conservatory

Dr. Karl Paulnack’s Welcome Address to parents of incoming students, September 2004

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician… I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated… I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school. She said, “You’re wasting your SAT scores!” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they loved music: they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite… Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

One of the first cultures to articulate how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you: the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner-of-war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture — why would anyone bother with music? And yet even from the concentration camps we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

In September of 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. On the morning of September 12, 2001 I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, on the very evening of September 11th, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang “We Shall Overcome.” Lots of people sang “America the Beautiful.” The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pastime. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece “Adagio for Strings.” If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie “Platoon,” a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

Very few of you have ever been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but with few exceptions there is some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings-people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks. Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in a small Mid-western town a few years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier. Even in his 70’s it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute cords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. The concert in the nursing home was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this: “If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at 2 AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

“You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

“Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music, I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”



There's nothing I can add to this, but just beam happy in my Liberal Arts & Science goo. I believe this stuff. I love this stuff. I'm not saying that I'm privy or capable of his marching orders by any means (I'm a pretty craptastic musician - - both capable and generally unpracticed. And to those who are the capable and the Earth saving, I say thank you!), but the whole article just resonates with goodness for me. Neat.

I'm making little felt bear paw prints for an upcoming Museum show. I am one with the hot glue gun and some felt.

Besides that..

DID YOU KNOW, that a vagina is actually a very acidic environment, while men's pHs are more basic? Neither did I!! I learned stuff today!! From a doctor who told me these things!! I sort of like the idea of vaginas' being all self-protecting and acidic and.. um.. weird. It makes sense, but I'll still wonder at the "oooooh, science!" of it all.. and wonder what in our evolution spawned such developments.

I also learned chemistry is not only the ooga-booga-kissy-kissy chemistry, but that your body's very chemistry can lay havoc on another person's. Interesting, no? Treacherous, yes?

There is no theme to this blog. It is only set on shuffle.

Onward.