Sloppy makes me mad..

I have two of the neediest animals in existence. I think they plan ahead, deciding which should be the needy one that morning. Sneaky.

Last night, 'was lucky enough to hang out with five amazing ladies I've never, really hung out with before. It sounds dumb, but it was akin to a revelation (and truly, the only reason it sounds dumb is because it shouldn't be a revelation. It should be obvious that five urban, professional, unwed, killer-smart ladies in their 30s might share similar experiences. But.. every once in a while, I'd slip from the conversation, and my insides would do a happy dance.)

Themes of the night:
- Men. (the original plan was to go to "He's Just Not That Into You".. heh. But we were sidetracked by chatting and pizza) Menmenbreakupsengagementsonlinedatingmen..

- Baby want. (it's not only okay to want babies, but.. um. It's definitely okay to want babies. Cool. There's always a caveat or a joke in my mind about the subject, like I'm not grown up enough or it's immature or maybe uterus jokes are just too much damn fun to make.)

- Death.

- STUPID IGNORANT A$$HOLES.. (a couple of the ladies teach for local colleges)

- Families. Dads. Moms.

Looking at a friend's wedding pictures via one of their iPhones. The friend is getting married in Algeria (most of these ladies' are either from, or still have family back in, far away places. Where weddings look very very different. But there's still comparisons of the groom, admiring how beautiful the bride looks, which traditions were followed...) In other words, Girl's Night!

Which, in looking back, is half-support group, half-advice swap, and 3/4s mutual admiration society. Good stuff. :)

Then, 'was late to Mixed Tape. And was not happy with how I performed. Should have warmed myself up more. Should have gotten head into the game. I was sloppy and dumb. And that makes me mad (at self. The boys were awesome.). I love this stuff, I love who I'm playing with - - there is no reason to get slop-stink all over this. Errgh.

I know it's only transitory. That one improv set is a tiny little drop in a big improv set bucket. But... still. I want to do my best.

I think one gets used to feeling bad. (It happens after life changes, like break ups or job crap. It happened after my dad died.) That we get used to feeling a way, a certain baseline. And if that baseline is sad, we get used to it, and will fill in the bad-blank with whatever we can. Sometimes creating unnecessary drama, just to make sure that bad-blank has something to suck on. And I definitely come from a long line of worriers. It's genetic.

Goal 342: Figure out when that is happening.

Goal 321: Do what you said you would do (i.e. stop creating unnecessary drama to worry about.)

What's today? Museum, Mystery Cafe, hopefully seeing good people, hopefully more sleep.

Onward.